The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damage could be done. Morgan was now wondering why his internal organs, two that had slept with each other previously and one that had killed another, had chosen this precise time to abandon him in his time of need. “get the fuck back here!” he shouted, but then felt the tugging of his toungue pulling itself out of his mouth. He did the only thing a person with sentient organs could do, he filled out a organ donor card and flashed it to the sky.
“By the power of Gray skull, I HAVE THE POWER to donate your living asses to someone who actually wants you!” this seemed to do the trick, but not before the bone monster slammed Morgan down into the dirt with its sickeningly thick fingers comprised of backbones. “MORGAN!” Kim shrieked as she feared she was to be next on the bone monsters ground pounding list.
“Yeah?” he responded casually as the bone monster landed another hundred blows, Morgan simply standing up each time and brushing himself off calmly. “Doesn’t that hurt you!?” the blond haired woman screamed in frustration at what she was seeing.
“Only if I let it… I mean geez, this things got basic strength at best, even the Taco Bell Dog could kill it with a wag of its tail.” just then, The Taco Bell Dog erupted from the ground with the strength of three Taco Bell Dogs, creating a three foot crater all around it. “Hola, me voy a orinar en el ahora y, a continuación …. Vas a morir!” it said with little respect for the bone monsters Victorian upbringing.
“see? whated i tell you!?” morgan said with a whiff of arrogance. That’s when things went south of the border, as Immigration came in a little green truck and snatched the Taco Bell Dog up by the scruff of his neck and carried him off. “Maldita sea! Malos tomarme la revancha próximo monstruo ósea tiempo!” it said through bared tooth and raised neck hair. Morgan thought he saw something a bit familiar about the critter, but he couldn’t be sure.
“Wait, wasn’t that Phil Harris?” he asked with little certainty. Meanwhile, the bone monster filled out a police report of vicious menacing from a three pound dog. Morgan snapped back to attention and centered himself below a hanging chandelier. “Why are you doing that?” Kim asked, almost burnt out and annoyed that nothing could possibly redeem the man’s actions.
“Trust me, you’ll understand soon enough.
Nordafet, Antimo, get ready for transformation plan number seventeen!” Morgan said as a pudgy, unflatteringly ugly man in a thick leotard with the words ‘Too sexy for my crabs infested jock strap’ bedazzled across his chest moved a strobe light behind the Lost Wolf. Kim prepared herself for the worst. “
Blitz Fang: zehn Millionen Winkeln des Todes!” he shouted with fury in his voice. The next thing she saw were hundreds of Emo Clouds gathering around the Lost Wolf as well as hundreds of mirrors angling themselves at hte bone monster. “Har! You think a electric attacks going to have any effect on me! I’m a ground and fighting type!” The woman sat down as she knew this would eventually turn into a horridly made anime with lots of people in funny hats throwing red balls at the ground. Morgan laughed, “I’m not going to attack you directly, I’m using Antimo’s ability of reversing the attacks type. What’s the opposite of lightning?” The bone monster shivered, the tendons that bound its body together seemingly losing their grip. “No….NO!” “YES! I’M ATTACKING YOU WITH LIGHTNING’S OPPOSITE! DARKNING!” Kim started to bang her head against a nearby rock. “Can’t… Take… This… Much… Longer!” she muttered to herself, cracking the rock a little more and deeper with each blow. Morgan used Nordafet as a club and started wailing on the bone monster, and the Emo Clouds started writing depressing poetry to the congressman in hopes that he could use their talents. the bone monster simply stood still, not knowing how to react. So he sat down next to Enigmatt and wrote an angry letter to his congressman about the state of the UPN. As it reached for the last stop in its letter, the Emo Clouds shot huge bolts of lightning with such anger, that they later went on to form the boy band “Emo Clouds” and sold quintuple platinum records. Which ended up killing four billion young men destined for greatness. Morgan sat down next to Enigmatt and the bone monster and wrote his local congressmen a letter proclaiming his love of snails. Kim screamed in rage and roared out her first hyper move. ”kaytsakits’ atam `tasy milion angles mahvan!” and ripped the bone monster apart with deadly accuracy. The Deom bones flew off in tidal waves of hellish splintering fire, and much to the surprise of Enigmatt, Morgan, the Arhem twins, Antimo, and Nordafet, as well as the stage hand, she roared out a number of deadly moves that caught Morgan off guard in the realest sense of the word. “Mahats’av i lurr mardaspan! Tsayr mekh SNKAYIN krem siravep! Tsaghki petals e apshets’uts’ich’ mahvan! K’vosot poezian khist k’nnadatut’yun e Cupid! Arrows e ansahman sunburst! Rushing uzhy yot’ zayrats’ats testicles! Rush e anali gorroz ark’ayazn! Growling vorot e kaytsakits’ Asttso nakhkin kiny: Sarsap’yeli sinus gerbnakvatsut’yun e palati khosnak!” instantly and without any actual good reason, their typewriters broke. Enigmatt stood up in anger, summoned his great sword, and used that to pick the dirt from his nails in protest. “I’m going home.” he said boorishly as he disappeared in a puff of red smoke.
Joseph and Aneeh both silently agreed that Joshua had reason to keep an eye on this woman. ‘You think she poses a threat now, dearest sister?” Joseph smugly thought, quite unaware that his sister had lovingly hired five billion snipers with earth shatteringly powerful, extremely accurate weapons, of such extreme levels of technological prowess, that he simply had to rip a fart, and solve a space time riddle cube, and five hundred billion hollow point bullets ripped, shredded, tore, and just in general splattered him across ten miles of rocky mountain pass.
“Did I really do the job that time?” Aneeh asked herself callously. She was disappointed when her brother reformed his body, cell by cell in a matter of seconds.
“Dearest sister, if I didn’t know any better, I would have said you were trying to kill your older brother! Do I truly bother you that much?” he asked jovially. She stuck her tounge out at him and sneered. “I would have much more preferred to be paired with Joshua rather than you.” she sighed, “That woman… she might have the potential the Chasm needs to spread the Golden Strands further through out Existence.” she took a breath and pulled out a huge, five hundred kiloton meteorite attached to several miles of chains, and pulled down hard and swung it this way and that. “
So much so that you would have no choice but to submit to my will! Die!” Aneeh screeched, giggled, laughed, and spouted Tickle Me Elmo quotes as the meteorite broke into billions upon trillions of fragments and rained down upon the hapless brother who only smiled.
“One day my loving sister will stop killing me. Until that day… Viṣṇu kē krōdha kā āśīrvāda!” he called out calmly, the move did nothing but bestow a small burrito next to a bowl of ranch dressing upon Antimo’s face. The fragments sliced through Joseph like bullets through a Jello mold. Aneeh smiled until Antimo climbed up the cliff face with a mouth full of burrito, smacked her in the right breast and yelled at her to knock it off. She started whimpering to her brothers corpse while it healed.
But he shook his head. “Not this time little sister, you have to learn to fight your own battles. And besides, we have the Colossus of Darkness right behind us. Actually, he was the meteor you attacked me with not too long ago.” Joseph smiled until he recieved a spike through the throat. “The time of tomfoolery is over, we have been summoned by the Chasm!” The Arhem twins vanished in warbles of fish guts and recycled nipple rings as Nordafet shook his head. “Now that the psycho and the zombie are gone, what now?”
Kim had reduced the rock she had been banging her head against to a pile of dust. She lifted her head out of the rubble and thought real hard about their next move. “I don’t know. To be honest, I have no fucking idea how the Hell I got he-” Morgan silenced her. He knew just exactly how she got here, it was the same way of how he got trapped in this Dimension. He had to sacrifice his waking world body to save those he wanted to protect. “I don’t know how to tell you this Kim; but I think your Waking Dimension body is dead.”
The news struck Kim down like the lightning attack did the bone monster. “How!? The last thing I remember before falling asleep, is going into this alley way with my boyfriend… and then he- he-” she couldn’t finish the thought because it was too painful to finish.
“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it. I understand perfectly well what you must’ve been through to get here. Just know that if you don’t wake up in the next four hours, then you truly are dead. Not only that,” the Lost Wolf said quietly, “But- you may have the same type of ability that I have.” She stood up and ran towards Morgan, only impeded by both Nordafet and Antimo. Her eyes welled up with tears of anger as she screamed at him. “
Dead! DEAD!? YOU THINK I’M DEAD!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU MORGAN!? IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT? THE FINAL ACT!? THE CURTAIN CALL!? THE LAST MOMENTS OF OUR LIVES!? You’re still the fucked up pain in the ass you were in the university! You know that!? You think just because a person like me is here, that I might be dead!? What about dreaming? What about in a coma? Or passed out? I would really like to know what goes on through your head!” she raged at the Lost Wolf, who could do nothing but listen to her angry voice with a small shard of sadness.
“You really want to know?” he said when she fell to her knees and could take it no more, the tears in her eyes fall to the ground like heavy machine gun fire. Her sobs shook her body so much that even her gasps of air had little effect of calming her down. “You want to know what I really think about on a day to day basis, while I’m stuck in the insanity that is this Dimension?
” he asked once more with a bit of heat in his voice as he steadily walked towards her. “Nordafet, Antimo, could you make yourselves scarce for a while?” the two protested their friends request, but in the end, the look in his eyes said it all. “Yeah… Just, don’t be too harsh on her…” Antimo suggested with a little wave of his hand. “Come on Nordafet, let’s go fight that ugly stage hand we saw earlier.”
Morgan waited for the duo to be out of sight before he knelt down in front of Kim. “I’ll tell you what is exactly going through my mind, right now. I won’t bullshit you or try to cheer you up Kimmy.” he lifted her chin so that her eyes met his, and she saw the stress he had gone through, the unreleased anger and regret he had within his mind that, more often than not, got him in trouble when he was in the Waking Dimension. “I think about saving Existence, about finding the rest of our little group, so that we have enough strength on hand for the coming fight, that horrid, bloody, war of a battle that will end all of this madness. I think about the Waking Dimension, and how I miss my family and friends, how I miss the sight of a blue sky that’s not a giant blueberry hovering trillions of miles away, or the scent of green grass that’s not just part of some jack offs nose hair. I miss the feeling of the warm sun on my skin, the warmth of a sun not hurled in my direction.”
Kim started to spring back, but he held onto her calmly. “I think that even if I mess up just one time in a fight because a move didn’t go right, or the Skeletal Angels didn’t quite hit the target, I think that it will all end because I messed up in the long run. because I’m a Lost Wolf, a loner in the wild of this place with no chains to bring me back down! I feel the hate of this place every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to sleep. I think about Sarah, about how she must be feeling, about the university, about the world at that particular moment!” he told her with confidence in his voice she had never heard in the Waking Dimension. “And then I see your beautiful face, and I feel guilty about what i put you through, about all the things I must’ve put you through, and I feel dead inside because that’s the effect you have on me.” her eyes focused on his words, and looked around to see that he was right. “You only just got here this morning, and already this place has put you through more than your mind can handle. You know how I reacted the first time I got here? With fucking clarity of mind. I don’t know if I was one of the lucky ones or what, but I tried my damndest to figure things out.” she started to whimper again. “Oh just shut the fuck up Kim, just shut, the fuck up already. You think screaming out random things is going to make for an effective attack every time!?” Kim started to smile, and then freed her chin from his fingers “NO! You have to focus it down to something powerful, deadly, fast and vast.” he paused for a minute to take a look at the Taco Bell Dog’s picture he received from immigration before they took him away. “I’ll train you, but then you have to be on your own. Just like I was.”
Mean while, Nordafet and Antimo had just finished tying the fat stage hands spine in a knot and kicked him off the edge of a cliff and into a pile of broken upward pointing glass. “Well… That took care of that.” the Deom stated with some happiness about the situation.
“Yeah, especially after he called your mom what he did.” his friend said coldly. “Oh that? Nah, she puts that on her Christmas card every year.”
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The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damag …
