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The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damag …Posted via email from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}
The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damag …Posted via email from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}
The bloody knight stopped for just a second, “You fight to exis-” a blinding flash of light and several seconds later, Barney Fife had decimated his opponent with ease. Knowing he would just end up on the other side in this travesty called war. “You know, you’re right… I don’t have an answer …Posted via email from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}
The knight stood its ground as the Spider King charged forward, its massive mountain like legs tearing through the round, carving huge chunks of Reality out of the round and causing massive flows of fire to belch out in its wake. “I see that you no longer wish to fight with words, maybe I was …Posted via email from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}
The knight stopped dead in its tracks, and waited for his opppenent to finish up what he was doing. “So you fight not for valor nor destruction, but harbor great vengeance against both?” he said in an old English accent. “I can not, for my very soul, say that I disagree with your ideals, as I t …Morgan, Kim, Nordafet, Antimo, and for some reason Credion stood around, dumb founded at the pair of bicycles riding by. The bikes themselves were nothing more then two groups of midgets building a working model of a Tesla Coil, but the fact that the whole thing functioned as a bicycle simply amazed and bewildered Kim beyond belief. Morgan shrugged as the midget troupe sung about stoned prostitutes in high squeeky voices. Until, that is, the bottom most midget popped his heel on a thumb tack and deflated. The Tesla Coil, largely unfinished for Doctor Phils evil scheme to transform marshmallows into rabbits that laid grenade like eggs out of their ears.
“Somehow, I’m not understanding how any of this is possible! Just where are we!?” Kim shouted directly into Morgan’s ear, to which a tiny porcelean version of the titanic sank, causing Enigmatt to sit down at a nearby typewriter and write a letter to his congressman about the whole thing. The Tingion soon got bored and wandered off to a local pub and beat every stereotypical nineties action hero into dust for the fun of it. Morgan sat down at chairs foot and wondered for a moment where exactly they were for a while as well. The Reality of the Mind’s Eye had been consumed by the Golden Strands, and it’s Gaurdian for all he knew had been killed off by Joseph Arhem. He was also aware that shortly after going through the portal out of the Singolarita Dimensionale, the Golden Strands devoured Caasi and turned her into the Dread Queen. But as to their current location, he was not sure at all. And then Pennywise the creepy clown hit him. “Hello John Steinbeck! I’ll eat your heart!” Morgan blinked for a few minutes and then shooed him off in the correct direction of the famous writer. “Oh… Well, I’m sorry about that, me and Mr. Steinbeck had a two thirty appointment, and well… I’m lost.” the demonic clown told the Lost Wolf.“You sure you don’t want to battle it out?” Pennywise continued, hoping for at least a little bit of a beatdown. “Trust me. You’d lose. I’m even cutting back nine hundred percent of my potential shooing power to not turn your atoms into jelly.” the man said calmly to the disappointed creature. Kim tried not to scream out of frustration at the complete and utter random things that had just happened in the last five minutes. And then a deep moaning voice erupted the air into a fiery bath of blood and death from which none of the 2011 Oscar winners could escape.“Housegeusts are not allowed to shoo off Pennywise the clown! Nordafet, please come to the dairy room… STOP THAT!” it roared angrily as the deom was busy flicking toejam at a camera lens floating not one millimeter from his nose. “You stop that… and this aint Big Brother…” he retorted angrily as Julie Chen rose from the ground amidst the disfigured army of Production assistants, headless CBS Lawyers, and violently ill looking Illinios senators. She pointed a long spidery finger at the Deom, opened her mouth, and released terrors so horrifying, so evil, so degrading and mentally jarring, that Richard Simmons threw a Barbie themed birthday party.“Okay. Why-” “Houseguest are not allowed to question the goddess Julie Chen’s finger poke of death!” “All I did was-” “Nordafet! PLEASE, SHUT THE HELL UP!” “Why?” “Houseguests are not allowed to question the Producers!” “Production is not allowed talk to Deom of knightly stature!” “YOU DARE QUESTION THE VOICE OF BIG BROTHER!? HOW…. DARE YOU DEFY MY ORDERS PUNY MORTAL! TO THE HAVE NOT ROOM WITH YOUR SOUL!”
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Morgan, Kim, Nordafet, Antimo, and for some reason Credion stood around, dumb founded at the pair of bicycles riding by. The bikes themselves were nothing more then two groups of midgets building a working model of a Tesla Coil, but the fact that the whole thing functioned as a bicycle simply am …Posted via email from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}
“Hulle kan nie ver wees, soek die omtrek!” a squeky voice rang out against the dinner time rush of a giant death dealing McDonalds store. “WHAT!?” his second in command, who happened to be hard of hearing, and never understood anything his superior told him grunted. “Hulle kan nie ver wees, so …“Pi, Xi, Omega, Nu!” Sho replied, sending an opposite current running through the ground that ripped through Alex’s legs, sending him flying into a stone pillar that had been built like a redwood tree. It had been three days since Rho had been defeated and joined them. It had also been two days and twelve hours since Pi had the stupid idea of challenging Sho, on the theory that if she were defeated, the other Fragments under her would join up with them. “Omega Alpha, Rho, Xi!” Alex roared as snake like chains shot from his palms, wrapping themselves around Sho’s waist and arms.
“Eta, Phi, Chi, Psi!” Sho whispered as blocks of ice hurtled towards Alex with amazing speed. ‘Alex, quick, use the shield combo!’ Rho urgently pleaded.
‘I don’t know what the shield combo is Rho! I’m just calling out random names at the point!’ the priest replied, until he remembered what he was. “Beato angeli, mi difendere scudo con la tua grazia!!” Alex prayed to the heavens as his crucifix glowed with a heavenly light. The blocks of ices, as large as small cars, pounded against the invisible barrier and shattered into smaller chunks and repeated the process till the rain of ice was over. “Very impressive,” she commented. “Using both the combos, and your own latent power? Now show me this power of your lord and savior! Eta, Tau, San!” Sho roared as large worms of Bullet Bills ten miles high, and one mile in radius burst through the ground several hundred feet away from the two. “Rho, Pi, Xi! Gli dei beati giudizio dei malvagi!” Alex said, using both his powers as a priest, and the combos. But this time, the shield began cracking as the first of hundreds of bus sized bullets slammed into Alex. Sweat began to form on his forehead as he saw what it was he was fighting for the first time. And it made him worry all the the more. The bullet belt monsters twisted together and formed a Gatling Anaconda with twelve heads. The red targeting eyes on each one focused on a single point and began unloading their ammunition on the shield, driving him further and further away with each impact. Alex had to do something, and something fast. “Dio, tu sei l’alfa e l’omega, il principio e la fine, visualizzare il tuo vero potere prima che il non credente!” he said as the barrier began to crack away. The priest held fast and did nothing, as the last volley of bullets rocketed his way with only a mile to go. The hair on the humans neck started to rise as his heart began to pound. The volley was three quarters of a mile from the target. Bits and pieces of lightning seemed to shoot through the ground and slam into the nearby pillars, forming a safety net around the Preacher. The bullets were half a mile away. The net sparked and snapped, roared with the power of God almighty, and his army of angels, Sho did not blink an eye. ”Pathetic Deity. You are no match for us! We are of the Gods of Mount Olympus! You are one, while we are many! Sho, Eta, Tau, Phi, Chi, Psi, San!” the Fragment roared as the Gatling Anaconda burst into ten trillion tiny blades and whipped themselves into thousands of hurricanes with eleven thousand mile an hour winds. Alex, in a moment of panic, said the only thing that could possibly make sense in his moment of truth. He grabbed a nearby Oak walking stick, and slammed it into the ground as a cloak of leaves covered his body, and a bunch of white hair grew on his face. “YOU SHALL NOT PASS!” the Priest raged as he swung the walking stick around, and much to his relief, the lightning net swirled into a vast and almost galactic sized hurricane of pure electricity. Sho’s eyes watered from the sheer energy that was pouring out, and fell to her knees, but struggled to get back onto even one foot. “Sh-” Sho was interrupted as ten funnels of lightning slammed through her body. “ALPHA!” Twenty thousand strikes shot through every atom of her body, sending unreal amounts of pain and self discovery about herbal stimulants through her mind. “OMEGA!” The lightning formed a giant adorable female puppy who had to use the bathroom, and squatted right over Sho, a planet covering vagibeam shot through every conceivable dimension surround her existence. “NU, XI!” The Priest called out as the ungodly amount of electricity started to funnel into Sho’s eyes, mouth, ears, nose, butt and vagina, send even more mind breaking pain through the very core of her being. ”MU, PI!” He continued as the lightning snapped her bones, seared her flesh, cooked her muscles, and charred her bones with the very force of life itself. “Rho.” The priest had no idea that the power of this magnitude resided within the various combination’s. He made a note to not abuse it in this way again. “In the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit!” Ten thousand trillion crosses slammed through the Fragment’s already broken body, as it struggled to heal itself from so many injuries all at once. “REPENT!” he said as he calmly walked over and kicked her twitching body hard in the throat, snapping her neck and finishing the fight. The lighning finished its destruction and disappeared all at once while Alex fell to his knees, the strain of the fight taxing his mind a great deal. He looked at the body of Sho as it faded into the ground in a flurry of red polygons. “Is that proof of my strength Sho?” he asked as he collapsed.
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Alex had defeated Rho, Rhos clones, and was now in a desperate battle against Sho, and she used her abilities to stop his every attack. “Alpha, Omega, Pi, Xi!” “Pi, Xi, Omega, Nu!” Sho replied, sending an opposite current running through the ground that ripped through Alex’s legs, sending him …Glenn Beck, dressed in floating demonic armor, with a battle ax made of frozen jello in one hand and a shield that was made out of Oprah’s hair in the other, shouted Aneeh’s name before exploding into a fireball of self loathing that only the Chasm could dream of.
”Wow… simply… wow.” she said calmly as her brother ismply shrugged and shot eric massa in the head with a cross bow. “So, my dearest little sister, I think it’s time we had a talk about what Joshua did to our family that was so horrific, don’t you?” Joseph said with a calm voice, giving no impression that he would attack his sister. ”You don’t get it do you!?” Aneeh screamed out loud, “YOU JUST DON’T GET IT! JOSHUA WAS PLANNING TO KILL OUR GRANDFATHER!” Joseph remained calm and collected as the scene played out exactly as Joshua had told him it would. “Listen… Aneeh. I have something to tell you, something you may not want to hear, but I’m going to tell it to you anyways.” the Arhem man requested quietly. “Joshua, my dearest baby brother, found something out about Grandpa Arhem, something that caused him great grief.” Joseph began in a happy tone of voice. He watched as Aneeh tried to still her beating heart, so full of rage and anger towards her own sibling that it had blinded her to the truth. “He found out that Grandpa Arhem had figured out the locations of the Flesh Bound Book, the Broken Blade, and the Stolen Soul. He had found those three items, and was about to use them to kill you off!” her brother continued, ignoring Morgan’s slowly regenerating body. “Don’t you see Aneeh? Grandpa Arhem found out about your secret, the one all three of us swore to protect with our lives! He knew that the Book, the Blade, and the Soul were the only ture means of ending our lives, so Joshua explained that he was going to stop the Arhem Family Head’s plan, to nix the youngest generation!” Joseph watched with a tear in his eyes as Aneeh simply fell to her knees in the middle of space, which by now had changed into a jumpy house filled with little plastic balls. “But that can’t be!” she screeched, “No… I refuse to believe it! Parivāra kē khūna kī rēkhā kē viśvāsaghātī, śāpa maiṁ tumhēṁ maranē kē li’ē!” she pointed a finger at her brother, who simply stood there. “Why won’t you believe me Aneeh!? Is it that hard to accept the truth that Joshua was trying to protect you!? Why are you so stubborn that you would kill your own brother, and now your trying to kill me off as well!? God damn it! I’m trying to keep the last specks of the Arhem family together!” Joseph yelled out while he started to tremble. “Yes, we are working for the Chasm, yes, I agree that Joshua could’ve done things different, he could’ve just destroyed the Book, melted the Blade, and freed the Soul. But he knew, Aneeh. He knew that our Grandfather would never allow such a secret to be kept with our lives! That’s why he chose to be shunned, as long as you remained safe!” Aneeh looked furious at first, then she lowered her finger. A thought he started to grow in her mind, a thought that maybe what Joshua did wasnt so bad after all, and that Joseph was telling the truth. She couldn’t let her anger at the incident go, no matter what truths were revealed. Or it was more like her anger would never let Aneeh go. ”I will kill you Joseph, I will defeat the Chasm’s plans with Morgan and we will be victorious. I’m sorry that our trio could not live to see this day, but there has been too much blood shed, and no matter how many times I wash my hands of it, there will always be that stain and smell that disgusts me to no end on them!” Aneeh said in a quivering voice. “This is my final decision, and when I kill you-” “If it means that much to you, for me to die as well, so that what ever’s eating away at you, will be even the least bit satisfied, then I will do the deed myself.” Joseph interrupted. The ruins that the Chasm had placed in his body started to glow as cracks spread out from his body. ”I love you Aneeh, don’t ever forget that. And find yourself a man, so that the next generation of Arhems can become reality. Protect out bloodli-” Joseph stopped suddenly as flames erupted from the cracks like lightning, shattering the Arhem man into an untold number of peices. “Parivāra kē khūna kī rēkhā kē viśvāsaghātī, śāpa maiṁ tumhēṁ maranē kē li’ē…” Aneeh repeated sadly, as the wall in her mind that blocked off the memories of their childhood melted away. She could only stand there in thought, her eyes half closed as a freshly regenerated hand rested on her shoulder. “I’m sorry for your loss. We have work to do, and God only knows how far away Antimo is by this point.” Morgan said with a bit of sadness to his voice. He started to walk into the distance, occasionally giving into the urge of bouncing a few times with a gleefull expresion on his face. ’No… you will never know the depths that our roots are interconnected Morgan, you will never know.’ the Arhem woman thought coarsely as a new voice entered her mind. ‘Oh yes he will. You’ve forgotten already, but he lost his Wife to the Golden Strands, and even though he’s still strong on the outside, he’s constantly taking a beating deep down.’ Credion sighed as she stepped out of Aneeh’s body. The war had taken a strange and unexpected turn, as the Door and the Chasm became corporate CEOs and had arrange a Pool Noodle fight to encourage intercompany relations. Although only they knew the truth. For the first time, both leaders of the armies that were fighting against each other, took on Human forms. The Door of Existence, took on the form of a Black woman with shoulder length hair, a medium sized chest, average looks, and had two blazingly bright blue eyes. She was dressed in a business casual suit, dark grey pumps, and had a briefcase that occasionally released sparks into the air that created more of the Granite Statues. The Chasm however, created the hollow shell of a White woman, dark blonde hair that was tied off into a ponytail that reached the small of her back, with ravaging rouge colored eyes that had snake like slits for pupils. She was dressed in a dark black robe with a white hood that hung loosely over one shoulder. And not much else. The robe was tied off. As both women stepped out of their respective holes, they gave each other snarling looks of the deepest contempt. “Well, I suppose we should give our armies their respective colored Pool Noodles to beat each other up with?” the Door said as she adjusted her right breast which had decided to take a road trip across her body. Half way through its trip, it ran out of gas and pulled into a nearby station. In the middle of filling its tank up, it decided to return to the bra cup that it missed so much. The Chasm laughed like a crack head on spring break with two eightballs laid out before it. “Yes we should, and perhaps we should give each’s names. By the way? You look like you’ve dressed to be a stripper.” The Door simply ignored these remarks. “You know as well as I do that our true bodies remain in their steadfast postions. Try to remember that one fact at least. My name shall be…” the Door thought to herself as her vagina shot out a galaxy size beam of light, turning the midget who was underneath it into a pile of ash. “Ah, the felt good! My name shall be tina, Tina Door.” tina said with a pleasant smile. The chasm simply coughed as her vagina shot out a roaring red beam of molten blood. “Fuck it, my name’s Chrissy, Chrissy Chasm.” “Suits you well,” Tina smiled as smoke flowed out of her vagina, causing a passing family to gawk and stare. “Extreme PMS.” Tina said calmly. “Anyways my side shall have blue Pool Noodles, and your side shall have red Pool Noodles. Agreed?” in respone, Chrissy gave Tina the finger and punched her in the stomach. “Yeah. What about us? Are we just going to fight it out to the death, or will we let our armies just kill each other for eternity?” Chrissy said with a bit of a cynical tone to her voice. Tina thought quietly for a while as yet another Midget was victim to her vagibeam. “Nope, our chosen warriors will represent us in the End Game. Besides, if we get bored, we’ll just change things around.” the Door said with out much thought. Alex, Omega, and Alpha had reached the inner most depths of the Cutting Dimension, and had managed to collect three of the twelve Fragments named Mu, Nu, and Xi, who were under Sho’s command, when they reached a snag in their journey. The Fragments themselves had made an enemy out of the fourth and final member of the dual lettered Fragments, Pi. ‘This happened,’ Xi explained, ‘When Mu ate Pi’s birthday cake by accident, right in front of Pi herself. The whole thing. Even Nu didn’t get a peice.’ Alex wondered if the shorter the names of the fragments, the less rational they became had anything to do with it. Alpha rejected that idea when he revealed that all Fragments were of equal intelligence. ‘It’s just that Pi really likes birthday cake.’ he said inside of Alex’s mind, which was a lot roomier then Morgan’s. “By the way,” the Preacher asked cautiously, “I have been wondering this for a while, but have they encountered Morgan as well?” Alex wondered with a bit of bewilderment in his voice. Omega answered before the three had a chance for themselves. “Yes… in fact, that’s how Morgan managed to snag us up before Alpha and I were exiled to our little prison. They would’ve just destroyed us, and then rebuilt new Fragments out of our bodies, but that’s just how the Leaders are I guess.” she hummed while Mu simply shoved another peice of birthday cake in her mouth. Alex noticed that Mu, Nu, and Xi looked like children in appearance, while Alpha and Omega looked middle aged. He wasn’t sure if something happened once they got promoted, or if that’s just the way the Fragment’s caste system worked. But it did have some potential for research. They walked along the Cutting Dimension’s edges, noting the differences between the forest of spinning razors to their left, the ocean of peoples faces being slapped by whale sized fish to their right, the sky of jellyfish with spiked collars above them, and the sand made out of peoples noses under their feet. “Wow… this place is a strange and wonderful… Whatever is it.” Alex seemed to say before noticing a person that looked exactly like him, only dressed in opposite color scheme. “Are you a fellow Minister, tasked with the mission of spreading the word of God around?” Alex asked happily as he raised a hand to give, what he thought was a fellow believer, a hand shake. “No, I was tasked with peeling your skin off, setting fire to your entrails, and then ramming my fist through your still quivering heart. But I’ll shake your hand anyways, it’s nice to have someone that welcomes their own death in this place. It’s a rare commodity.” the person said in frozen tones. Alex felt a dark power surge through him, like a shard of metal so cold, that it thoroughly chilled him to the bone. “Might I know the name of my attempted slayer?” the Preacher asked, still maintaining a friendly smile, even through the Fragments inside of him were shouting wanrings at the top of their lungs. “Oh… sure! My name is Xela, and… well, I’m going to kill you, to put it bluntly. Oh yeah, I like your watch! Hekuri ndezur Hell’s gomave!” Xela said calmly, still holding on to Alex’s hand, while a flaming tire iron made of Demon bones smashed him in the temple, sending him reeling to the ground. “Fight back you idiot!” Xi yelled out to Alex. “Call out our names in any order you wish, and then we shall do our stuff!” Alpha said calmly, as Alex struggled to get to his feet. “Um… Xi, Mu, Nu, Omega!” a diamond studded boxing glove sprang out of a little door on the ground and sent Xela rocketing into the air, occasionally getting zapped by the jellyfish or stabbed by their spiked collars. “So you have the Fragments of Reality!? Fine! I’ll fight back with the Fragments of Discord! Agemo, Un, Um, Ix!” Xela called out as rockets burst from the folds of his clothes and slammed into the ground around Alex. The explosions sent him flying, but the Preacher still remained as focused as ever. “Alpha, Mu, Xi, Omega!” the Preacher called out and Zombies were shot out of a giant supersoaker. “Oh come on! I hate Zombies! Are they wearing packs of plastic explosives? Oh shi-” the Zombies grabbed onto Xela whereever their rotting hands could, exploding with the slightest bit of contact. Xela was slammed into an outcrop of rocks that looked more like the blades of a blender than rocks. “Agemo, Ahpla, Um, Ix!” the Negapreacher shouted with glee as a giant cannon ripped through the crotch of his pants, and gathered energy into a tiny black orb. “Think you can survive this Alex? DIE!”
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Glenn Beck, dressed in floating demonic armor, with a battle ax made of frozen jello in one hand and a shield that was made out of Oprah’s hair in the other, shouted Aneeh’s name before exploding into a fireball of self loathing that only the Chasm could dream of. “Wow… simply… wow.” she sa …