defenatley not what you think
custodi della realta, part 10.4
The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damage could be done. Morgan was now wondering why his internal organs, two that had slept with each other previously and one that had killed another, had chosen this precise time to abandon him in his time of need. “get the fuck back here!” he shouted, but then felt the tugging of his toungue pulling itself out of his mouth. He did the only thing a person with sentient organs could do, he filled out a organ donor card and flashed it to the sky.

“By the power of Gray skull, I HAVE THE POWER to donate your living asses to someone who actually wants you!” this seemed to do the trick, but not before the bone monster slammed Morgan down into the dirt with its sickeningly thick fingers comprised of backbones. “MORGAN!” Kim shrieked as she feared she was to be next on the bone monsters ground pounding list.

“Yeah?” he responded casually as the bone monster landed another hundred blows, Morgan simply standing up each time and brushing himself off calmly. “Doesn’t that hurt you!?” the blond haired woman screamed in frustration at what she was seeing.

“Only if I let it… I mean geez, this things got basic strength at best, even the Taco Bell Dog could kill it with a wag of its tail.” just then, The Taco Bell Dog erupted from the ground with the strength of three Taco Bell Dogs, creating a three foot crater all around it. “Hola,  me voy a orinar en el ahora y, a continuación …. Vas a morir!” it said with little respect for the bone monsters Victorian upbringing.

“see? whated i tell you!?” morgan said with a whiff of arrogance. That’s when things went south of the border, as Immigration came in a little green truck and snatched the Taco Bell Dog up by the scruff of his neck and carried him off. “Maldita sea! Malos tomarme la revancha próximo monstruo ósea tiempo!” it said through bared tooth and raised neck hair. Morgan thought he saw something a bit familiar about the critter, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Wait, wasn’t that Phil Harris?” he asked with little certainty. Meanwhile, the bone monster filled out a police report of vicious menacing from a three pound dog. Morgan snapped back to attention and centered himself below a hanging chandelier. “Why are you doing that?” Kim asked, almost burnt out and annoyed that nothing could possibly redeem the man’s actions.

“Trust me, you’ll understand soon enough. Nordafet, Antimo, get ready for transformation plan number seventeen!” Morgan said as a pudgy, unflatteringly ugly man in a thick leotard with the words ‘Too sexy for my crabs infested jock strap’ bedazzled across his chest moved a strobe light behind the Lost Wolf. Kim prepared herself for the worst. “Blitz Fang: zehn Millionen Winkeln des Todes!” he shouted with fury in his voice. The next thing she saw were hundreds of Emo Clouds gathering around the Lost Wolf as well as hundreds of mirrors angling themselves at hte bone monster.

Har! You think a electric attacks going to have any effect on me! I’m a ground and fighting type!” The woman sat down as she knew this would eventually turn into a horridly made anime with lots of people in funny hats throwing red balls at the ground.

Morgan laughed, “I’m not going to attack you directly, I’m using Antimo’s ability of reversing the attacks type. What’s the opposite of lightning?” The bone monster shivered, the tendons that bound its body together seemingly losing their grip.

“No….NO!” “YES! I’M ATTACKING YOU WITH LIGHTNING’S OPPOSITE! DARKNING!”

Kim started to bang her head against a nearby rock. “Can’t… Take… This… Much… Longer!” she muttered to herself, cracking the rock a little more and deeper with each blow. Morgan used Nordafet as a club and started wailing on the bone monster, and the Emo Clouds started writing depressing poetry to the congressman in hopes that he could use their talents. the bone monster simply stood still, not knowing how to react. So he sat down next to Enigmatt and wrote an angry letter to his congressman about the state of the UPN. As it reached for the last stop in its letter, the Emo Clouds shot huge bolts of lightning with such anger, that they later went on to form the boy band “Emo Clouds” and sold quintuple platinum records. Which ended up killing four billion young men destined for greatness. Morgan sat down next to Enigmatt and the bone monster and wrote his local congressmen a letter proclaiming his love of snails. Kim screamed in rage and roared out her first hyper move.

 ”
kaytsakits’ atam `tasy milion angles mahvan!” and ripped the bone monster apart with deadly accuracy. The Deom bones flew off in tidal waves of hellish splintering fire, and much to the surprise of Enigmatt, Morgan, the Arhem twins, Antimo, and Nordafet, as well as the stage hand, she roared out a number of deadly moves that caught Morgan off guard in the realest sense of the word. “Mahats’av i lurr mardaspan! Tsayr mekh SNKAYIN krem siravep! Tsaghki petals e apshets’uts’ich’ mahvan! K’vosot poezian khist k’nnadatut’yun e Cupid! Arrows e ansahman sunburst! Rushing uzhy yot’ zayrats’ats testicles! Rush e anali gorroz ark’ayazn! Growling vorot e kaytsakits’ Asttso nakhkin kiny: Sarsap’yeli sinus gerbnakvatsut’yun e palati khosnak!” instantly and without any actual good reason, their typewriters broke. Enigmatt stood up in anger, summoned his great sword, and used that to pick the dirt from his nails in protest. “I’m going home.” he said boorishly as he disappeared in a puff of red smoke.

Joseph and Aneeh both silently agreed that Joshua had reason to keep an eye on this woman. ‘You think she poses a threat now, dearest sister?” Joseph smugly thought, quite unaware that his sister had lovingly hired five billion snipers with earth shatteringly powerful, extremely accurate weapons, of such extreme levels of technological prowess, that he simply had to rip a fart, and solve a space time riddle cube, and five hundred billion hollow point bullets ripped, shredded, tore, and just in general splattered him across ten miles of rocky mountain pass.

“Did I really do the job that time?” Aneeh asked herself callously. She was disappointed when her brother reformed his body, cell by cell in a matter of seconds.

“Dearest sister, if I didn’t know any better, I would have said you were trying to kill your older brother! Do I truly bother you that much?” he asked jovially. She stuck her tounge out at him and sneered. “I would have much more preferred to be paired with Joshua rather than you.” she sighed, “That woman… she might have the potential the Chasm needs to spread the Golden Strands further through out Existence.” she took a breath and pulled out a huge, five hundred kiloton meteorite attached to several miles of chains, and pulled down hard and swung it this way and that. “So much so that you would have no choice but to submit to my will! Die!” Aneeh screeched, giggled, laughed, and spouted Tickle Me Elmo quotes as the meteorite broke into billions upon trillions of fragments and rained down upon the hapless brother who only smiled.

“One day my loving sister will stop killing me. Until that day… Viṣṇu kē krōdha kā āśīrvāda!” he called out calmly, the move did nothing but bestow a small burrito next to a bowl of ranch dressing upon Antimo’s face. The fragments sliced through Joseph like bullets through a Jello mold. Aneeh smiled until Antimo climbed up the cliff face with a mouth full of burrito, smacked her in the right breast and yelled at her to knock it off. She started whimpering to her brothers corpse while it healed.

But he shook his head. “Not this time little sister, you have to learn to fight your own battles. And besides, we have the Colossus of Darkness right behind us. Actually, he was the meteor you attacked me with not too long ago.” Joseph smiled until he recieved a spike through the throat. “The time of tomfoolery is over, we have been summoned by the Chasm!”  The Arhem twins vanished in warbles of fish guts and recycled nipple rings as Nordafet shook his head. “Now that the psycho and the zombie are gone, what now?”

Kim had reduced the rock she had been banging her head against to a pile of dust. She lifted her head out of the rubble and thought real hard about their next move. “I don’t know. To be honest, I have no fucking idea how the Hell I got he-” Morgan silenced her. He knew just exactly how she got here, it was the same way of how he got trapped in this Dimension. He had to sacrifice his waking world body to save those he wanted to protect. “I don’t know how to tell you this Kim; but I think your Waking Dimension body is dead.”

The news struck Kim down like the lightning attack did the bone monster. “How!? The last thing I remember before falling asleep, is going into this alley way with my boyfriend… and then he- he-” she couldn’t finish the thought because it was too painful to finish.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it. I understand perfectly well what you must’ve been through to get here. Just know that if you don’t wake up in the next four hours, then you truly are dead. Not only that,” the Lost Wolf said quietly, “But- you may have the same type of ability that I have.” She stood up and ran towards Morgan, only impeded by both Nordafet and Antimo. Her eyes welled up with tears of anger as she screamed at him. “Dead! DEAD!? YOU THINK I’M DEAD!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU MORGAN!? IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT? THE FINAL ACT!? THE CURTAIN CALL!? THE LAST MOMENTS OF OUR LIVES!? You’re still the fucked up pain in the ass you were in the university! You know that!? You think just because a person like me is here, that I might be dead!? What about dreaming? What about in a coma? Or passed out? I would really like to know what goes on through your head!” she raged at the Lost Wolf, who could do nothing but listen to her angry voice with a small shard of sadness.

“You really want to know?” he said when she fell to her knees and could take it no more, the tears in her eyes fall to the ground like heavy machine gun fire. Her sobs shook her body so much that even her gasps of air had little effect of calming her down. “You want to know what I really think about on a day to day basis, while I’m stuck in the insanity that is this Dimension? he asked once more with a bit of heat in his voice as he steadily walked towards her. “Nordafet, Antimo, could you make yourselves scarce for a while?” the two protested their friends request, but in the end, the look in his eyes said it all. “Yeah… Just, don’t be too harsh on her…” Antimo suggested with a little wave of his hand. “Come on Nordafet, let’s go fight that ugly stage hand we saw earlier.”

Morgan waited for the duo to be out of sight before he knelt down in front of Kim. “I’ll tell you what is exactly going through my mind, right now. I won’t bullshit you or try to cheer you up Kimmy.” he lifted her chin so that her eyes met his, and she saw the stress he had gone through, the unreleased anger and regret he had within his mind that, more often than not, got him in trouble when he was in the Waking Dimension. “I think about saving Existence, about finding the rest of our little group, so that we have enough strength on hand for the coming fight, that horrid, bloody, war of a battle that will end all of this madness. I think about the Waking Dimension, and how I miss my family and friends, how I miss the sight of a blue sky that’s not a giant blueberry hovering trillions of miles away, or the scent of green grass that’s not just part of some jack offs nose hair. I miss the feeling of the warm sun on my skin, the warmth of a sun not hurled in my direction.”

Kim started to spring back, but he held onto her calmly. “I think that even if I mess up just one time in a fight because a move didn’t go right, or the Skeletal Angels didn’t quite hit the target, I think that it will all end because I messed up in the long run. because I’m a Lost Wolf, a loner in the wild of this place with no chains to bring me back down! I feel the hate of this place every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to sleep. I think about Sarah, about how she must be feeling, about the university, about the world at that particular moment!” he told her with confidence in his voice she had never heard in the Waking Dimension. “And then I see your beautiful face, and I feel guilty about what i put you through, about all the things I must’ve put you through, and I feel dead inside because that’s the effect you have on me.” her eyes focused on his words, and looked around to see that he was right. “You only just got here this morning, and already this place has put you through more than your mind can handle. You know how I reacted the first time I got here? With fucking clarity of mind. I don’t know if I was one of the lucky ones or what, but I tried my damndest to figure things out.” she started to whimper again. “Oh just shut the fuck up Kim, just shut, the fuck up already. You think screaming out random things is going to make for an effective attack every time!?” Kim started to smile, and then freed her chin from his fingers  “NO! You have to focus it down to something powerful, deadly, fast and vast.” he paused for a minute to take a look at the Taco Bell Dog’s picture he received from immigration before they took him away. “I’ll train you, but then you have to be on your own. Just like I was.”

Mean while, Nordafet and Antimo had just finished tying the fat stage hands spine in a knot and kicked him off the edge of a cliff and into a pile of broken upward pointing glass. “Well… That took care of that.” the Deom stated with some happiness about the situation.

“Yeah, especially after he called your mom what he did.” his friend said coldly. “Oh that? Nah, she puts that on her Christmas card every year.”

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The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damag …
custodi della realta, part 10.4
The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damage could be done. Morgan was now wondering why his internal organs, two that had slept with each other previously and one that had killed another, had chosen this precise time to abandon him in his time of need. “get the fuck back here!” he shouted, but then felt the tugging of his toungue pulling itself out of his mouth. He did the only thing a person with sentient organs could do, he filled out a organ donor card and flashed it to the sky.

“By the power of Gray skull, I HAVE THE POWER to donate your living asses to someone who actually wants you!” this seemed to do the trick, but not before the bone monster slammed Morgan down into the dirt with its sickeningly thick fingers comprised of backbones. “MORGAN!” Kim shrieked as she feared she was to be next on the bone monsters ground pounding list.

“Yeah?” he responded casually as the bone monster landed another hundred blows, Morgan simply standing up each time and brushing himself off calmly. “Doesn’t that hurt you!?” the blond haired woman screamed in frustration at what she was seeing.

“Only if I let it… I mean geez, this things got basic strength at best, even the Taco Bell Dog could kill it with a wag of its tail.” just then, The Taco Bell Dog erupted from the ground with the strength of three Taco Bell Dogs, creating a three foot crater all around it. “Hola,  me voy a orinar en el ahora y, a continuación …. Vas a morir!” it said with little respect for the bone monsters Victorian upbringing.

“see? whated i tell you!?” morgan said with a whiff of arrogance. That’s when things went south of the border, as Immigration came in a little green truck and snatched the Taco Bell Dog up by the scruff of his neck and carried him off. “Maldita sea! Malos tomarme la revancha próximo monstruo ósea tiempo!” it said through bared tooth and raised neck hair. Morgan thought he saw something a bit familiar about the critter, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Wait, wasn’t that Phil Harris?” he asked with little certainty. Meanwhile, the bone monster filled out a police report of vicious menacing from a three pound dog. Morgan snapped back to attention and centered himself below a hanging chandelier. “Why are you doing that?” Kim asked, almost burnt out and annoyed that nothing could possibly redeem the man’s actions.

“Trust me, you’ll understand soon enough. Nordafet, Antimo, get ready for transformation plan number seventeen!” Morgan said as a pudgy, unflatteringly ugly man in a thick leotard with the words ‘Too sexy for my crabs infested jock strap’ bedazzled across his chest moved a strobe light behind the Lost Wolf. Kim prepared herself for the worst. “Blitz Fang: zehn Millionen Winkeln des Todes!” he shouted with fury in his voice. The next thing she saw were hundreds of Emo Clouds gathering around the Lost Wolf as well as hundreds of mirrors angling themselves at hte bone monster.

Har! You think a electric attacks going to have any effect on me! I’m a ground and fighting type!” The woman sat down as she knew this would eventually turn into a horridly made anime with lots of people in funny hats throwing red balls at the ground.

Morgan laughed, “I’m not going to attack you directly, I’m using Antimo’s ability of reversing the attacks type. What’s the opposite of lightning?” The bone monster shivered, the tendons that bound its body together seemingly losing their grip.

“No….NO!” “YES! I’M ATTACKING YOU WITH LIGHTNING’S OPPOSITE! DARKNING!”

Kim started to bang her head against a nearby rock. “Can’t… Take… This… Much… Longer!” she muttered to herself, cracking the rock a little more and deeper with each blow. Morgan used Nordafet as a club and started wailing on the bone monster, and the Emo Clouds started writing depressing poetry to the congressman in hopes that he could use their talents. the bone monster simply stood still, not knowing how to react. So he sat down next to Enigmatt and wrote an angry letter to his congressman about the state of the UPN. As it reached for the last stop in its letter, the Emo Clouds shot huge bolts of lightning with such anger, that they later went on to form the boy band “Emo Clouds” and sold quintuple platinum records. Which ended up killing four billion young men destined for greatness. Morgan sat down next to Enigmatt and the bone monster and wrote his local congressmen a letter proclaiming his love of snails. Kim screamed in rage and roared out her first hyper move.

 ”
kaytsakits’ atam `tasy milion angles mahvan!” and ripped the bone monster apart with deadly accuracy. The Deom bones flew off in tidal waves of hellish splintering fire, and much to the surprise of Enigmatt, Morgan, the Arhem twins, Antimo, and Nordafet, as well as the stage hand, she roared out a number of deadly moves that caught Morgan off guard in the realest sense of the word. “Mahats’av i lurr mardaspan! Tsayr mekh SNKAYIN krem siravep! Tsaghki petals e apshets’uts’ich’ mahvan! K’vosot poezian khist k’nnadatut’yun e Cupid! Arrows e ansahman sunburst! Rushing uzhy yot’ zayrats’ats testicles! Rush e anali gorroz ark’ayazn! Growling vorot e kaytsakits’ Asttso nakhkin kiny: Sarsap’yeli sinus gerbnakvatsut’yun e palati khosnak!” instantly and without any actual good reason, their typewriters broke. Enigmatt stood up in anger, summoned his great sword, and used that to pick the dirt from his nails in protest. “I’m going home.” he said boorishly as he disappeared in a puff of red smoke.

Joseph and Aneeh both silently agreed that Joshua had reason to keep an eye on this woman. ‘You think she poses a threat now, dearest sister?” Joseph smugly thought, quite unaware that his sister had lovingly hired five billion snipers with earth shatteringly powerful, extremely accurate weapons, of such extreme levels of technological prowess, that he simply had to rip a fart, and solve a space time riddle cube, and five hundred billion hollow point bullets ripped, shredded, tore, and just in general splattered him across ten miles of rocky mountain pass.

“Did I really do the job that time?” Aneeh asked herself callously. She was disappointed when her brother reformed his body, cell by cell in a matter of seconds.

“Dearest sister, if I didn’t know any better, I would have said you were trying to kill your older brother! Do I truly bother you that much?” he asked jovially. She stuck her tounge out at him and sneered. “I would have much more preferred to be paired with Joshua rather than you.” she sighed, “That woman… she might have the potential the Chasm needs to spread the Golden Strands further through out Existence.” she took a breath and pulled out a huge, five hundred kiloton meteorite attached to several miles of chains, and pulled down hard and swung it this way and that. “So much so that you would have no choice but to submit to my will! Die!” Aneeh screeched, giggled, laughed, and spouted Tickle Me Elmo quotes as the meteorite broke into billions upon trillions of fragments and rained down upon the hapless brother who only smiled.

“One day my loving sister will stop killing me. Until that day… Viṣṇu kē krōdha kā āśīrvāda!” he called out calmly, the move did nothing but bestow a small burrito next to a bowl of ranch dressing upon Antimo’s face. The fragments sliced through Joseph like bullets through a Jello mold. Aneeh smiled until Antimo climbed up the cliff face with a mouth full of burrito, smacked her in the right breast and yelled at her to knock it off. She started whimpering to her brothers corpse while it healed.

But he shook his head. “Not this time little sister, you have to learn to fight your own battles. And besides, we have the Colossus of Darkness right behind us. Actually, he was the meteor you attacked me with not too long ago.” Joseph smiled until he recieved a spike through the throat. “The time of tomfoolery is over, we have been summoned by the Chasm!”  The Arhem twins vanished in warbles of fish guts and recycled nipple rings as Nordafet shook his head. “Now that the psycho and the zombie are gone, what now?”

Kim had reduced the rock she had been banging her head against to a pile of dust. She lifted her head out of the rubble and thought real hard about their next move. “I don’t know. To be honest, I have no fucking idea how the Hell I got he-” Morgan silenced her. He knew just exactly how she got here, it was the same way of how he got trapped in this Dimension. He had to sacrifice his waking world body to save those he wanted to protect. “I don’t know how to tell you this Kim; but I think your Waking Dimension body is dead.”

The news struck Kim down like the lightning attack did the bone monster. “How!? The last thing I remember before falling asleep, is going into this alley way with my boyfriend… and then he- he-” she couldn’t finish the thought because it was too painful to finish.

“It’s alright if you don’t want to talk about it. I understand perfectly well what you must’ve been through to get here. Just know that if you don’t wake up in the next four hours, then you truly are dead. Not only that,” the Lost Wolf said quietly, “But- you may have the same type of ability that I have.” She stood up and ran towards Morgan, only impeded by both Nordafet and Antimo. Her eyes welled up with tears of anger as she screamed at him. “Dead! DEAD!? YOU THINK I’M DEAD!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU MORGAN!? IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT? THE FINAL ACT!? THE CURTAIN CALL!? THE LAST MOMENTS OF OUR LIVES!? You’re still the fucked up pain in the ass you were in the university! You know that!? You think just because a person like me is here, that I might be dead!? What about dreaming? What about in a coma? Or passed out? I would really like to know what goes on through your head!” she raged at the Lost Wolf, who could do nothing but listen to her angry voice with a small shard of sadness.

“You really want to know?” he said when she fell to her knees and could take it no more, the tears in her eyes fall to the ground like heavy machine gun fire. Her sobs shook her body so much that even her gasps of air had little effect of calming her down. “You want to know what I really think about on a day to day basis, while I’m stuck in the insanity that is this Dimension? he asked once more with a bit of heat in his voice as he steadily walked towards her. “Nordafet, Antimo, could you make yourselves scarce for a while?” the two protested their friends request, but in the end, the look in his eyes said it all. “Yeah… Just, don’t be too harsh on her…” Antimo suggested with a little wave of his hand. “Come on Nordafet, let’s go fight that ugly stage hand we saw earlier.”

Morgan waited for the duo to be out of sight before he knelt down in front of Kim. “I’ll tell you what is exactly going through my mind, right now. I won’t bullshit you or try to cheer you up Kimmy.” he lifted her chin so that her eyes met his, and she saw the stress he had gone through, the unreleased anger and regret he had within his mind that, more often than not, got him in trouble when he was in the Waking Dimension. “I think about saving Existence, about finding the rest of our little group, so that we have enough strength on hand for the coming fight, that horrid, bloody, war of a battle that will end all of this madness. I think about the Waking Dimension, and how I miss my family and friends, how I miss the sight of a blue sky that’s not a giant blueberry hovering trillions of miles away, or the scent of green grass that’s not just part of some jack offs nose hair. I miss the feeling of the warm sun on my skin, the warmth of a sun not hurled in my direction.”

Kim started to spring back, but he held onto her calmly. “I think that even if I mess up just one time in a fight because a move didn’t go right, or the Skeletal Angels didn’t quite hit the target, I think that it will all end because I messed up in the long run. because I’m a Lost Wolf, a loner in the wild of this place with no chains to bring me back down! I feel the hate of this place every morning when I wake up, and every night before I go to sleep. I think about Sarah, about how she must be feeling, about the university, about the world at that particular moment!” he told her with confidence in his voice she had never heard in the Waking Dimension. “And then I see your beautiful face, and I feel guilty about what i put you through, about all the things I must’ve put you through, and I feel dead inside because that’s the effect you have on me.” her eyes focused on his words, and looked around to see that he was right. “You only just got here this morning, and already this place has put you through more than your mind can handle. You know how I reacted the first time I got here? With fucking clarity of mind. I don’t know if I was one of the lucky ones or what, but I tried my damndest to figure things out.” she started to whimper again. “Oh just shut the fuck up Kim, just shut, the fuck up already. You think screaming out random things is going to make for an effective attack every time!?” Kim started to smile, and then freed her chin from his fingers  “NO! You have to focus it down to something powerful, deadly, fast and vast.” he paused for a minute to take a look at the Taco Bell Dog’s picture he received from immigration before they took him away. “I’ll train you, but then you have to be on your own. Just like I was.”

Mean while, Nordafet and Antimo had just finished tying the fat stage hands spine in a knot and kicked him off the edge of a cliff and into a pile of broken upward pointing glass. “Well… That took care of that.” the Deom stated with some happiness about the situation.

“Yeah, especially after he called your mom what he did.” his friend said coldly. “Oh that? Nah, she puts that on her Christmas card every year.”

Posted via email from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}

The bone monster’s grandma in a rocking chair lasers fired tidal waves of loud speakers that blaird the latest in new wave Muzak at Morgan, sending his bones into a paralizing state of terror. His eyes, brain, spleen, and lower intestines evacuated themselves out of the way before the real damag …
custodi della realta, part 10.3
The bloody knight stopped for just a second, “You fight to exis-” a blinding flash of light and several seconds later, Barney Fife had decimated his opponent with ease. Knowing he would just end up on the other side in this travesty called war. “You know, you’re right… I don’t have an answer to your question, so what? Heh… Let them come forever more! Luchero existir…” he said calmly as he sat back down between the two barriers, that seemed more like crushing waves of insanity building up underneath him. “Let them come…”

Back in the newly formed Dream Dimension, thanks in part to the Chasm and the Colossus Of Darkness, Morgan, Kim, Nordefet, Antimo, and Elmer Fudd had been going hunting. Morgan knew the scenario right off the bat as he saw Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck arguing about what season it was. “It’s rabbit season!” Daffy exclaims, wildly gesturing with his hands towards the sign.

No, it’s duck season!” Bugs calmly mimics back at the duck. Morgan, not wanting to waste anyone’s time, simply took a bow and arrow and with one bolt, nailed both the duck and the rabbit through the head into the trunk of a nearby tree.

“Oh the Warner Brothers aren’t going to like this one-” Elmer was interrupted as Antimo snapped his head off his neck and sucked out the innards. “Well, hows he taste?” Morgan asked mockingly.

Antimo grimaced, “Like fucking ink, how did you think it was going to taste like?” he paused for a minute and realized where they were. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been back here. Where it all started.” Antimo calmly proclaimed. Kim wondered what morgan’s other side meant until she vaguely remembered the dream she had half a year ago.

“You mean to say that it was all real?” she asked timidly. Morgan nodded. “Yeah. It was. Literally all Hell broke loose when the Beast was born. Trillions upon trillions of lives were lost in the five day fight against him.” the Lost Wolf placed a hand on the deep scar on his chest and held it there for a second.

“Well, it’s no use hanging around this pile any longer then we really have to. I don’t know what the Chasm means by restoring the Dream Dimension, but I doubt we’ll be having a good welcoming party… right?” Antimo smiled as he bent over to pick up a loose chunk of the Beast’s eye. “Right. Hey Morgan, something isn’t right here, come take a look.” While the Lost Wolf and Antimo were talking about the eye he had found, Kim and Nordafet explored the wasteland of shields, chest plates, swords, and Deom skeletons that were stacked one upon the other.

“How long do you think this is after the battle?” Kim asked Nordafet, who was busy scavenging the soldiers graveyard for usable weapons. “I don’t know, looks to be a few hours after Sarah and Morgan left the first time around. Deom corpses tend to decompose fairly quickly, so I wouldn’t be surprised in the least. But what’s the Chasm’s angle in restoring it to this early of a point?” 

The group didn’t have long to wait for the answer as hundreds of bones lifted from the ground and slammed together. First making the feet, then legs and waist, then torso and finally the arms, neck, hands, and head. “What the flying Hell is that supposed to be?” Morgan said quietly.

“I don’t know… but I’m kinda getting tired of all this fucking fighting every ten seconds.” Antimo retorted with a little bit of anger in his voice. Aneeh and Joseph watched from the top of the crater, witnessing what Joshua would have explained to be a time trap.

“So, little sister,” Joseph began with a slight hint of excitement in his voice, “Do you think this creature will pose a problem for them? I mean, they did just escape from the Chen bot and her loyal army of CBS lawyers.” Aneeh simply drew a shotgun out of midair and jammed the barrel down his throat up to the stock. There was a single three seconds where she just might not pull the trigger. The Arhem woman did it anyways, and after weighing the pros and cons of her next action, pulled it another ten times just to be on the safe side. “Don’t you be making jokes about CBS lawyers. Or Julie Chen. Hard to believe that she works for the Chasm of Non-existence. But I don’t think this minimonster will be much of a challenge for Morgan, much less Antimo or Nordafet.”

Joseph healed himself, and after readjusting his jaw bone back into place, thought outloud. “We know the true level of strength of the Lost Wolf, the Deom, and.. whatever Antimo is. I’m more concerned about that Kim woman. To be honest, I don’t think she’s of any concern to us.” he sighed and brushed the quickly growing hair out of his eyes, “So why would Joshua want to go after her? It’s not like Chasm is in desperate need of fashion ti-” Aneeh threw the shotgun away and pulled out a repeating triple layered crossbow and let loose the entire salvo on her immortal brother. “Joshua has his orders, as do we. Unfortunately for you, I am privy to violence against you.” aneeh smilled and chucked the weapon over her shoulder as her brother pulled out the bolts one by one.

“I’m not entirely sure you regained all your senses, since you were attacked by the flying Armadillo monsters. Why they went straight for your privates I will never know, but you seemed to get a kick out of it.” Aneeh was about to unload a salvo of cruise missiles on Joseph, but decided that their current adventure was more important. “I guess Joshua seems to think Kim poses a threat in the long run. We’ll just have to wait and see what she does before making any assumptions into the matter.” there was a small flash of light and Aneeh smiled. “Sarah… Why am I not surprised. How are-” sarah wasted no time in driving the business end of a icepick up into the back of Aneeh’s skull, bringing out her twin magnum gatling guns and blowing off her one time friends right arm, left leg, both eyes, ripping off her jaw, and carving a huge chunk out of her ribcage.

Joseph started to clap his hands in excitement but Sarah turned one of the guns onto him and he lost both hands for the moment.  ”OH COME ON!” he shouted in anger. “You have any idea how long it takes for these things to grow back properly? Now I’m going to have to reschedule that manicure the Chasm promised me!”

 Sarah wasn’t listening in the least, she kept both guns trained on the Arhem twins, knowing it would be a matter of time before she ran out of ammunition. ‘Come on Morgan, hurry up and get away from there!’ she thought urgently. Morgan was having his own trouble as the bone monsters finger nails turned into a battery of laser cannons, repeating crossbows, tommy guns, colt forty fives, and grandmothers in rocking chairs with sawed off shotguns.

 ”You took my pig!” they shouted at Morgan while they took aim. “I DON’T HAVE YOUR FUCKING PIG!”  he shouted back, annoyed at the prospect that yet again, he was going to have to defend himself against yet another false animal theft accusation by the McCoys.

Kim simply wished all this would stop.

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The bloody knight stopped for just a second, “You fight to exis-” a blinding flash of light and several seconds later, Barney Fife had decimated his opponent with ease. Knowing he would just end up on the other side in this travesty called war. “You know, you’re right… I don’t have an answer …
custodi della realta, part 10.2
The knight stood its ground as the Spider King charged forward, its massive mountain like legs tearing through the round, carving huge chunks of Reality out of the round and causing massive flows of fire to belch out in its wake. “I see that you no longer wish to fight with words, maybe I was wrong to challenge the great Puppet King. I knew your Master, as he was my son. have at thee!” the bloody knight charged and drew out the second great sword from his chest, the dents and scratches meaning little to the former king of his lands. “You shall see that I am not that easily defeated yon knave! Větší zatmění první slunce!” the knight shouted as his shadow shot from the ground and formed a black dragon with seven heads and fifteen arms. In each of its hands was a small meteor.

‘What is you bidding my master?’ the Black Dragon asked in a small and whispering voice. “You know as well as I do Frederick, this opponent, I fear shall not see the answer to the question I posed to him. Maybe you can smash his hardened soul, so that he may see the err of his ways.” the bloody knight said calmly as the Black Dragon flew into the air. The barriers on either side of the fight were weakening as the souls on either side were wary of the fight happening in the center.

Let us out! We crave the blood of our enemies!” they screamed and crowed and roared and bellowed. Thumping their chests with their fists, clanking swords against shield, and claw and scale. They watched the mighty Black Dragon, growing larger and larger with each hundred yards he rose until he eclipsed the door and the chasms sizes combined. ‘I shall do as you wish my master, and then I shall return to my slumber.’ the voice of the Dragon was a rumbling, beastly roar that had much force behind it. The bloody king nodded and the Black Dragon slung its cargo as the still stampeding Spider Puppet. The fifteen meteors struck with sickening explosions that spat fire and lightning outwards. The puppet’s shell cracked and twisted apart, legs shattered and huge chunks of the spider puppet flew off.

“The knave still persists in persuit of his insane path?” the bloody knight  questioned as he felt the Black Dragon return to its slumber inside of him. “Very well,
větší zatmění Druhý měsíc!”  the knight commanded, feeling anger build up inside of him.  ’So you wish me to kill and render?’ a disturbed, psychotic voice whispered with a giggling menace, ‘How shall I rip and tear him apart?’

The bloody knight understood this emotion well. “Do as you wish slave. This man understands little, outside his own psychotic dillusions. Perchance you might enlighten him as to the end result of this mind set?” the knight said as he took a step backwards and a Red Demon of sickles, swords, clubs, chains, flails, and morning stars ripped out of the dark pool of blood that had formed underneath the knight.

 ’As you wish master!’ the Demon laughed and spun into a tornado of bloody destruction. ‘I’ll claim your soul as my dinner foolish mortal!” the Demon shrieked as the spider puppet continued towards the knight who simply stood calmly, knowing that he would simply be reborn on the other team if killed. “I fear not death. Come to me on your suicidal quest!” the bloody knight shouted as bravely and mustered up his might. The Demon slammed into the spider puppet, cutting, ripping and smashing more chucks of the puppet’s shell off the whole. The spider puppet was only fifteen miles from the knight who lost patience with him.

HAVE YOU NOT FOUND THE ANSWER TO THE VERY QUESTION I POSED TO YOU? DO YOU WISH TO LIVE BY THE VERY HATRED AND ANGER THAT HOLDS YOUR LIFE BY A THREAD TO THIS HELLISH PLACE? IF NOT, THEN I SHALL HAVE TO UNLEASH MY FULL POWER! THIS IS WHY THEY HAVE CALLED ME THE CHAOTIC MASTER OF OBLIVION!” the knight shouted as he walked towards the spider puppet’s shambling frame, Barney Fife’s face partially revealed from the damage,  red foam frothing from his torn agape mouth like a rabid dog seizing the last of his strength for one last bite at the master about to put him down. “
Větší zatmění erupce sopky! Větší zatmění čtvrté oceánu! Větší zatmění páté otevřeným srdcem! Větší zatmění šesté stínu!” the knight shouted, feeling larg chunks of his soul rush outwards and form the monsters of his nightmares, the culmination of his terrible life and the ultimate fate of those that chose the life of chaos over one of simple pleasures.

“Feel the beat of my soul, and know the truest destruction of Existence!” his very voice ripped the Puppet King from his spider puppet and shredded his body to sawdust and bones.  ”Shall you repent for your violent ways knave?! Shall you now bow down before a greater fighter than yourself!?” the waves upon intense waves of heat slammed the sawdust into ashes, then ashes of those ashes, and finally scattered those ashes to the far reaches of Existence.

“You have learned of my power slave. And know ye this… I shall kill you again and again till you learn of my question in the purest f-” the bloody knight and his hellish, disturbed visage behind him looked stunned. “My answer…” a voice from the ashes started calmly, “You want my answer to that piddling shit of a question?” the knight slowly looked down, feeling the core of his soul being crushed by the massive weight of a slowly clenching fist. it was beyond anything that he had felt before.

“Yes…” he choked as the ashes, slowly came back together to form the Puppet King, Barney Fife. His burned out eyes, his scratched up body, the chunks of his mind that splintered and cracked, that had endured the worst of fates, looked into his opponents eyes. “Here it is…
Lucho de existir.”

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The knight stood its ground as the Spider King charged forward, its massive mountain like legs tearing through the round, carving huge chunks of Reality out of the round and causing massive flows of fire to belch out in its wake. “I see that you no longer wish to fight with words, maybe I was …
custodi della realta, part 10.1
The knight stopped dead in its tracks, and waited for his opppenent to finish up what he was doing. “So you fight not for valor nor destruction, but harbor great vengeance against both?” he said in an old English accent. “I can not, for my very soul, say that I disagree with your ideals, as I too tire of the fighting. I was once a proud King, loved by my subjects, my knights were at the very top of loyalty and bravery.”

The Black and White stringed tornado slammed onto the Puppet King, forming the frame for his creation. “My kingdom was all I ever cared about. I now realize what purgatory I must be in for my fate to switch between good and evil every time I am run through by anothers blade. I can understand a fellow King’s distress in this situation, believe me, I know your pain.”  the knight stood stead fast as he drew out the longer of the two great swords from his abdomen. Small roots strarted to grow outwards and wrap themselves around the Puppet Kings body in preparation for the final phase of the transformation.

“I was arrogant in thinking that I was infallible, so much so that I grew paranoid soon of anyone that made even the slightest of err and had them killed on the spot. It grieves me so every time I step out of that barrier. I lost my Queen when she coughed at me and in response I had seventeen knights and squire both run her through every conceivable direction.” Large redwood panels slammed into place as the Puppet King’s head, upper torso, arms and hands were encased in massive scythes arranged in the way that teeth are in a person’s mouth.

 ”Before we begin… as is inevitable our destiny. Let me ask you this. Why do you fight? If not valor, or destruction, then what? Is it a person? A place? A long forgotten memory? Do you fight for a singular purpose or many? You see, the reason I fought was simply to expand my kingdom, which covered eight tenths of the planet’s surface. I was a very strong warrior in my day, and I had taken the heads of giants with more strength than I. Do you know how i died?” The Puppet King’s mind was fused with that of the Titan’s bloody scythe spider as wires crammed into Barney Fife’s head and sealed the gaps in between.

 ”I had picked up my shield, and my sword, and I remember looking at my youngest son, Edmund, and noticing a gleam in his eye that I did not like. In my haste to end my mistakenly perceived threat, I fell out of the window, located several miles about the spiked moat. I remember thinking to myself the strangest thought in the world, the very question I have asked you. Why was I fighting? For what purpose did it truly serve me?”  The eight eyes of the spider puppet glowed red as it planted its heavily weighed down foot on the ground.

 ”I could not find an answer to that question. And a few seconds before I hit the ground, I saw edmund with his hand reaching out towards me, I think I found my answer, would you like to hear it? I know you’re itching for a fight. But would you like to hear my answer?” The spider puppet pawed at the ground and nodded its head.

 ”Very well then, I found, that I had been fighting to protect. Not for a goal, not for an ideal, not for anything grand. Just to protect. Anything I could. Thank you for hearing my tale. Now then, my fellow King, let us once more fight for out own answers to that question, why do we fight?”

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The knight stopped dead in its tracks, and waited for his opppenent to finish up what he was doing. “So you fight not for valor nor destruction, but harbor great vengeance against both?” he said in an old English accent. “I can not, for my very soul, say that I disagree with your ideals, as I t …
Custodi Della Realta, part 9.5

Morgan, Kim, Nordafet, Antimo, and for some reason Credion stood around, dumb founded at the pair of bicycles riding by. The bikes themselves were nothing more then two groups of midgets building a working model of a Tesla Coil, but the fact that the whole thing functioned as a bicycle simply amazed and bewildered Kim beyond belief. Morgan shrugged as the midget troupe sung about stoned prostitutes in high squeeky voices. Until, that is, the bottom most midget popped his heel on a thumb tack and deflated. The Tesla Coil, largely unfinished for Doctor Phils evil scheme to transform marshmallows into rabbits that laid grenade like eggs out of their ears.

“Somehow, I’m not understanding how any of this is possible! Just where are we!?” Kim shouted directly into Morgan’s ear, to which a tiny porcelean version of the titanic sank, causing Enigmatt to sit down at a nearby typewriter and write a letter to his congressman about the whole thing. The Tingion soon got bored and wandered off to a local pub and beat every stereotypical nineties action hero into dust for the fun of it. Morgan sat down at chairs foot and wondered for a moment where exactly they were for a while as well. The Reality of the Mind’s Eye had been consumed by the Golden Strands, and it’s Gaurdian for all he knew had been killed off by Joseph Arhem.

He was also aware that shortly after going through the portal out of the Singolarita Dimensionale, the Golden Strands devoured Caasi and turned her into the Dread Queen. But as to their current location, he was not sure at all. And then Pennywise the creepy clown hit him. “Hello John Steinbeck! I’ll eat your heart!” Morgan blinked for a few minutes and then shooed him off in the correct direction of the famous writer.

“Oh… Well, I’m sorry about that, me and Mr. Steinbeck had a two thirty appointment, and well… I’m lost.” the demonic clown told the Lost Wolf.
“You sure you don’t want to battle it out?” Pennywise continued, hoping for at least a little bit of a beatdown. “Trust me. You’d lose. I’m even cutting back nine hundred percent of my potential shooing power to not turn your atoms into jelly.” the man said calmly to the disappointed creature. Kim tried not to scream out of frustration at the complete and utter random things that had just happened in the last five minutes. And then a deep moaning voice erupted the air into a fiery bath of blood and death from which none of the 2011 Oscar winners could escape.

“Housegeusts are not allowed to shoo off Pennywise the clown! Nordafet, please come to the dairy room… STOP THAT!” it roared angrily as the deom was busy flicking toejam at a camera lens floating not one millimeter from his nose. “You stop that… and this aint Big Brother…” he retorted angrily as Julie Chen rose from the ground amidst the disfigured army of Production assistants, headless CBS Lawyers, and violently ill looking Illinios senators. She pointed a long spidery finger at the Deom, opened her mouth, and released terrors so horrifying, so evil, so degrading and mentally jarring, that Richard Simmons threw a Barbie themed birthday party.

“Okay. Why-” “Houseguest are not allowed to question the goddess Julie Chen’s finger poke of death!”

“All I did was-” “Nordafet! PLEASE, SHUT THE HELL UP!”

“Why?” “Houseguests are not allowed to question the Producers!”

“Production is not allowed talk to Deom of knightly stature!” “YOU DARE QUESTION THE VOICE OF BIG BROTHER!? HOW…. DARE YOU DEFY MY ORDERS PUNY MORTAL! TO THE HAVE NOT ROOM WITH YOUR SOUL!”

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Morgan, Kim, Nordafet, Antimo, and for some reason Credion stood around, dumb founded at the pair of bicycles riding by. The bikes themselves were nothing more then two groups of midgets building a working model of a Tesla Coil, but the fact that the whole thing functioned as a bicycle simply am …
Custody Della Realta, part 9.3
“Hulle kan nie ver wees, soek die omtrek!” a squeky voice rang out against the dinner time rush of a giant death dealing McDonalds store. “WHAT!?” his second in command, who happened to be hard of hearing, and never understood anything his superior told him grunted.

“Hulle kan nie ver wees, soek die omtrek! Omtrek!” the squeaky voice bellowed again, hoping that just once in his short lifetime, the second in command would actually do as he was told. “Startrek!? I don’t know nothing about all that nerdy stuff except that Kirk would totally own Picard! He’d also bang him some green alien ass as well!” 

The African screamed in rage as his head burst into a lovely potriat of what Lindsey Lohan’s vagina feels at the after parties.The death dealing McDonalds store slammed a ten ton foot into the earth only twelve feet away from Morgan, Kim, Antimo, Nordafet, Caasi, the Black Syrup and the Golden sStrands. McDonalds didn’t stand a chance as it had, in one mighty step, crushed the dreams and hopes of ten thousand Nicks fans as well as the fans themselves.

“If you are Caasi… and not just some trick of the Chasm of Non-Existence, tell me something only my Wife would know!” Morgan commanded as the twin steel spikes jammed themselves through Caasi’s legs, and into the ground her. Her mind was in overdrive, she knew that this wasn’t her real form anymore. She knew that her true form of the Bloody Strands was twelve septillion times larger the the McDonalds death dealing store behind her.Yet, she felt as helpless and hapless as a Kids Choice Award winner.

“Well? We’re waiting, Blitzarmeggedon…” Morgan said with little emotion in his voice. The one remaining Skeletal Angel slowly rose from the ground beneath the dreams and hopes of the Nicks fans. “Y-you have a mole just beneath the tip of your chin.” Caasi said as she looked nervously to the Golden Strands and the Black Syrup for back up. The Golden Strands in all its wisdom and destructive capabilities did the only thing it could.

It called Miss Cleo. “She be cheatin’ on you wit that waiter, Darlin!”

 Then it located all the homes of every single Human, Insect, and Rodent that worked at Fox News Studios and stabbed them multiple times, and in a twist of hilarious fate, planted copies of OJ Simpson’s glove at all the houses and holes. Then blamed Tiger Woods. “How did that help anything at all!?” the Black Syrup asked angrily as he stabbed five people whose last name was Pinkerton.

 ”Felt like it would progress this to a massive fight somewhere along the line. Instead, I think I hear the Door of Existence cheering me on to kill off more useless sketch comedy bits.” it said in slurping tones.  Nordafet walked over and joined in the conversation, suddenly bored with whatever relationship issues Morgan was having. “Such as? Have you tried those Bachelor shows?” he yawned as he leaned onto the Black Syrup’s sticky shoulder.

Morgan thought about Caasi’s answer and felt his chin. “I don’t have a mole underneath my chin. Schreddern Dunkelheit  Flutwelle.”

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“Hulle kan nie ver wees, soek die omtrek!” a squeky voice rang out against the dinner time rush of a giant death dealing McDonalds store. “WHAT!?” his second in command, who happened to be hard of hearing, and never understood anything his superior told him grunted. “Hulle kan nie ver wees, so …
Custodi Della Realta, part 9.1
The black and gold Syrup struggled to form into a recognizable shape as the Bloody Strands and the Golden Strands watched with a mild curiosity. “You stupid bitch! You’ve unleashed the one thing I cannot defeat!” it screeched in fury as it retracted back into a tight ball the size of a watermelon.

“Resaec? I thought you died! I saw Morgan smash you to death with the giant robot’s foot!” the Bloody Strands asked, quite shocked to see her former master alive and well. One thing she noticed right off the bat was that Resaec seemed to have lost all his ambition for the most part. “I-I don’t know where I am… O-or who I am!” the Black and Gold Syrup shouted as his liquid form tried to stabilize, but for some reason he couldn’t.

Resaec, snapped to attention as green and dark purple numbers flew across his eyes at blazing rates, and then his body slammed into the floor. “I know who I am. But… what am I?” the Watermelon Cop asked as his movie played on the big screen, caught unawares that the Golden Strands was at his front door, delivering unto him a folder full of jelly.

“So… you don’t know what you are?” the Golden Strands asked, wildly amazed at this turn of events. The former God of Terror shook his head as the Watermelon Cop scratched himself while answering the door, recieving a deadly blast of folder jelly to the face. ‘Fuck… the Wife’s not going to be happy when she gets home tonight.’ he thouht to himself as he returned to watching his Puppet Porn.

“I know who I  was  but… what am I?” Resaec asked again, quickly gaining his composure. The Bloody strands quickly intervened. “Resaec, you… you’ve become a weapon… an extremely devastating weapon of limitless power, with so much potential that you could in fact, devour entire universes in a single day… just like us.” the Bloody Strands sighed.

“Yes… Caasi is right. We are weapons made to destroy, engulf, consume, and obliterate everything we come across. You however, our new confused Sibling… are different.” “Different? How am I different!?” Resaec asked as he slowly formed his old body again with little to some trouble.

“You are Syrup, we are Strands. Strands shoot outwards, can twist and turn, create drills and spikes! Sryup… only suffocates and drowns its victim in a painfully agonizing acidic bath.” Resaec smiled and started to remember the shame that Morgan had put him to when it came to fights. “Well… then I assume that we three represent each of the three Dimensions?” the Golden Strands laughed insidiously as he formed a octopuses body and slapped tentacle after tentacle on the floor, pushing towards the Black and Gold Syrup.

“There is no Dream Dimension. There is no Waking Dimension. There is no Nightmare Dimension. The Reality of the mind has died, along with its Guardian, Asteroth.” Resaec could hardly believe his ears, “What!? My Kingdom is dead!? My home land is no more!? TELL ME WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DESTRUCTI-” the Golden Strands wrapped all eight tentacle as the Syrup’s neck, only for them to pass through harmlessly.

“I am.”  That was all it took for Resaec to cover the Golden Strands in front of him with a thick layer of inwardly crystalizing sryup. His ice cold eyes watched with out mercy as his new found enemy screamed in agony while giving him one warning.

I AM ALL CONSUMING! THIS IS BUT A SMALL PORTION OF MY BODY!” the Golden Strands raged as the crystal’s compacted his form till there was no life left in the small sphere. “Then we shall find the your Heart, your Brain, and your Soul… and crush them with the hate and pain that you have caused all who’ve suffered at your hand.” Resaec said calmly as he sank into a puddle and slithered out of the former Council of Tens chambers.

The Bloody Strands were left in the room wondering what was to become of the event she had just witnessed.

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The black and gold Syrup struggled to form into a recognizable shape as the Bloody Strands and the Golden Strands watched with a mild curiosity. “You stupid bitch! You’ve unleashed the one thing I cannot defeat!” it screeched in fury as it retracted back into a tight ball the size of a waterme …
custodi della realta, parts 8.3 through 8.5

“I think I just shit out my brain.” Morgan said as the Puperpeep shot out another beam of sexual frustration, the cylinder of pink light rocketing past his left ear and slamming into Nancy Grace’s face. “Let me check. Yep… there it is, on the floor right behind me, why does it have a little hat on?” the Human had been in much more random situations than this, and for the first time, he was glad to be sitting in a chair next to Antimo. They weren’t fighting each other for once, there was no hitting, no kicking, no weird as fuck special moves being called out of thin air. But, he realized where he was in conjuncture to that situation. He knew the two faces in front of him, he recognized the Communist banner that flapped in the air conditioning vents slowly, as if to signify the end of his journey. But for some reason, all he could think about was the small fact that he had, literally, just shit out his brain.

And to make matters worse, his brain decided to take a taxi to it’s family cottage for the weekend. Right as Morgan needed it the most. ‘Guys?’ he asked inwardly as the first signs of the Apocalypse were shown, as Nancy ‘I’m gonna eat your babies’ Grace adjusted her hair so that the light didn’t get in the way of her deep fried southern evil preacher stare. Antimo didn’t know what the fuck to think at this point. He looked at Morgan, then Morgan’s brain, then to Nancy Grace, back at Morgan, and then slapped him across the face in an attempt to get some kind of reaction out of his former enemy. Nancy opened her mouth, and Antimo saw of all the universe’s evil deeds coalesce into a single mostly drunken rant.

“Hello and welcome to ‘Your Not Good Enough America, Go Kill Yourself’, as always, I’m Nancy Grace, along with my co-host Glenn Beck. Today, we find ourselves at, pretty much, the end of Existence as we know it. Because, this man right here, who started it all, who is at the epicenter of everything, has some questions to answer.” Morgan was confused, he had never actually been in front of a studio camera before. He felt his heart race as the spotlight beamed brightly in his face. To make matters worse, there was a studio audience, made up entirely out of parent’s of Nancy Grace’s victims. The only consolation they had to deal with their grief was the fact that Nancy had given them season tickets. Glenn Beck twitched nervously in his tin foil covered seat, laced with strings of garlic, anointed with holy water, and decorated with the heart of John Lennon, he adjusted his tin foil hat and glared at Antimo. “Just what exactly are you!? Are you a part of the dark forces that are writing a book about me at this very moment? Are you part of the gay agenda to corrupt our children? Do you believe in Obama? If you do, do you clap your hands to help him out with his presidency and wake him up in the mornings?” Antimo simply looked at Morgan and shrugged as the two continued grilling them with questions that they had no apparent clue how to answer.

That is, until Morgan asked something back. “Why are we here? Let’s start there.” Nancy graced held out a hand just millimeters away from the Human’s nose and glared at him with her ice cold eyes that reminded him of a funny story involving a pedophile and a black hole in space. But before he could finish the thought, Nancy opened her mouth again, revealing the demons of the world in all their glory. “We’ll ask the questions here! We’re Fox News! No one talks to us in that manner which you apparently just did!”

Antimo couldn’t decide which one he wanted to kill first. “Why are you here!? I’ll tell you why you’re here! The American- no, the planet wants to know what, exactly, you are doing in the company of that!” Glenn pointed a finger into the liquid mass that was Antimo’s eyeball. This didn’t surprise Morgan at all, but felt a bit of comfort when his friend bit the reporters hand off. “That is my friend, vastly different then when I first met him, but he’s my friend none the less. We travel together fighting off the Golden Strands, the agent of the Chasm of Non-existence, and anything else that decides to interrupt us. You have a problem with that?” the audience members clapped their hands, obviously believing that Morgan was sent by the Heaven’s or something to that caliber to free them of Nancy’s baby eating ways.

“WE ARE FOX-” “I really don’t give a flying fuck who you think you are, you spindly bloody mouthed bitch! As for you Nancy, tell us why we’re at Fucked News Studios!” Glenn Beck wet himself out of shame, crapped himself in arrogance, and then burst into a mass of fire, screaming to his death, as he fell off the septillion mile high platform that held up his studio.

“We are just as in the dark as you Morgan, can you tell us why all this is happening?” Morgan shrugged as he took a sip out of the coffee that was right in front of him. “That was Glenn’s-”

“He’s dead, fell off in a burning, screaming mass. As for your earlier question, no, your guess is as good as mine. I only learned of the Golden Strands after it attacked me in the Singolarita Dimensionale. The conduit for all the intersecting places in all of our Dimensions. I’ve fought against the Chasm’s forces, I’ve seen my friend, Antimo here, previously the Creature, and before that the Beast-” Nancy stopped him mid-sentence. “This… thing is the Beast?” the woman queried as her eyes glanced over the blue and black liquid, “The very thing that caused the nearby coma ward to lose almost ten percent of their patients?”

Antimo looked back at Morgan again, he had no clue how to answer the reporter. “Look, since then, I’ve changed around fourteen thousand times, physically, mentally, emotionally, patriotically, and physiologically. I don’t have all the answers, all I know is that I was the Beast, then the Creature, then two siblings grabbed me, threw me in this ribcage like thing, and now here I am. weird, I know. But that’s the simple truth of the matter Nancy. Now-”  ”Everyone get down! Glenn Beck evolved into Mechabeck!” the Govenator screamed, while chowing down on a bowl of hot jellyfish that he later found out was poisoned with a impotence causing drug. “No! Not little Arnie! Anything but my little Arnie! Die Mechabeck! Robot-Vernichtung, Zerstörung!” Morgan was glad for the distraction.

As Nancy Grace tried to defend herself from the clutches of Mechabeck, she grabbed a microphone and continued her interview with her guests despite the Govenator screaming about his impotent Little Arnie.

Why!? I will avenge you Little Arnie! I will give pleasure to my Wife once more, and she will be happy! For that is my law! Die!” the Austrian screamed as his left nipple opened up and a fifteen foot long tank barrel shot out, nailing Mechabeck in the nostril, causing the giant robot to sniff up a couple of lines of powdered cement neatly and orderly lined up in rows of four.

AH THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF!” the robot screamed as Nancy’s neck was snapped as a way of redemption, for all the misdeeds that Mechabeck did in his Human form. Meanwhile, the Golden Strands and the Bloody Strands had finished their work at the Council of Ten’s place of residence. The Strands flitted about the room in the septillion’s of cryo chambers that lined the hundreds of rooms, killing off time displaced copies of the ten Guardians, finding new ways of finishing off the sleeping victims of their horrendous evil.

‘Yes… this is what I’m talking about now! There shouldn’t be anything left except for the glass tube we saw in the main chamber.’ the Golden Strands thought to its Sister. ‘That may be true Brother, but what if that particular one was sealed for a reason?’ the Bloody Strands thought back in contemplation.

‘Do we actually have the time to be debating over whether or not we should kill off every single person in the fucking Dimension!? Do I have to remind you that whatever the G.O.T. wants, the G.O.T. will get!’ the Golden Strands thought angrily. ‘Former G.O.T., now he’s dead, just like me. All because of you!’ the Bloody Strands formed a flame thrower and unleashed a tidal wave of Nitro laced Napalm while she continued, overwhelmed by the new flood of long forotten emotions. ‘It’s all because of you that I lost my Husband! It’s all because of you that I joined the Chasm! It’s all because of you that I committed quadrillions of vile acts, without even giving pause! I’ve done things that give me nightmares!” the wave slammed down on the Golden Strands as she raged against her so called ‘Brother’. The Golden Strands burned furiously, its size retracting like the eyes of a snail when exposed to salt. It simply laughed off the attack.

‘Yes… I will agree that the chain of events has become… quite interesting, ever since I was ordered- actually, I was just created out of the Chasm’s will. I don’t think anyone ordered me to do anything. I eat away at the very pins and needles of Reality, all aspects of any Dimension, I am far larger than you can possibly comprehend Caasi Lee Gavin. And don’t you EVER forget that!’ the Golden Strands simply grew back to it’s size. ‘Do you think I am a single entity? A single body or mind? Do you somehow think there is a cure for me? A negative to my positive? I… I am pure INSTINCT! I am pure HUNGER! I will DEVOUR, and keep devouring for the rest of Existence! Until there is nothing left, I will continue to grow beyond the scope of  ANYTHING that your feeble Dream Dimensional mind can imagine! Do not forget who created you!’ the voice was deafening in the Bloody Strands ears. No one had ever called her by that name, not since the Golden Strands had infested her, changing her into the Dread Queen. It was a shock to her system, a kind of reboot that she had been indeed longing for. ‘You know what, Brother, I may not have a body anymore, I may not have my Husband’s love any more, but I will campaign against you! I have seen the depths of your minds black hearted core, and I know that truth! I know how to defeat you!’ she screamed as the randomly shaped cloud of Bloody Strands slowly compressed back into a Human body.

‘What? Those measly Fragments that your Husband sent that foolish Preacher to get? DO NOT FORGET THAT I AM EVERYWHERE!” the voice of the Golden Strands ripped through out every facet, of every Dimension, of every particle of Reality, of every universe in every Existence that Door had access to. The voice crumbled worlds that were teaming with life, caused black holes to go hypernova, turned antimatter null and forced the remains of a zombified George W. Bush to go back to college and take up several Political, Psychological, English and Acting classes. “I AM THE GOLDEN STRANDS, I AM EVERYWHERE! THERE IS NO PLACE IN FIVE HUNDRED MILLION NONGENTILLION UNIVERSES THAT I HAVE NOT TOUCHED! I AM MASSIVE! I AM EVERYWHERE! I AM-” the Golden Strands swarmed around the bloody, skinless body of the female Human whose Hazel eyes were just coming into focus.

“you are WHAT!?” she screamed back, fully formed as her epidermis snapped back into place. “I swear on my very existence that I will crush you into one centillionth of a singularity, and throw that into the hearts of ten thousand black holes! Blutigen Stränge: Bloody Maschinengewehr Punsch!” she screamed as her hands burst into several thousands bleeding strings and formed one hundred Tommygun barrels. “Now is the part where you die!” “IMPOSSIBLE! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME! I WILL SIMPLY GROW BACK YOU LITTLE BITCH!” the Golden Strands roared as she unleashed torrents of explosive bullets into the oncoming wall of gold.

‘Oh fuck me.’ The walls that were Duotanium that had been folded several thousand times, dented and split as the Golden Strands pummeled its former Sister flatter then one hundredths of a micron, and then repeated the process. This did nothing but disperse the body into the cloud of Bloody Strands.

‘I’m like you, I too have grown, fed upon the living enegry that sustains my life force, and I am several thousand universes larger then this body.’ she said happily. “Now you will face my wrath,
Athrú ar mhais: Tránna fuilteacha: Punch gunna fuilteacha meaisín!” she replied happily as the gentle and calm flow of the Golden Strands in front of her slammed into walls, punched holes into the ceiling and floor, and tightened into hundreds of marble sized balls in pain. ‘You fucking bitch! You god damned horrid bitch! I’ll fucking kill you for this!’ the Golden Strands shouted, raged, and roared across every where the Bloody Strands had been. ‘Fine then…. go back to your Husband! See if he takes you back with loving arms… or just tosses you aside! Because now you are like me! You devour death to continue living! How will you control that hunger around him!? How will you ever stop consuming to live? Do you expect them to forgive you for the life that you’ve stolen away from an infinite amount of worlds!?’ the Golden Strands knew it was right, as did the Bloody Strands, but she kept her head as she reformed her body.

‘In my time as this… thing, I’ve learned some interesting facts. Number one being, that I would only need to consume if I wished to grow my size and power, and since I am already formiddable by the damage I’ve just done to you across the realities that I, too, inhabit, I would watch my back. Bitch.’ with the, the Bloody Strands smashed open the glass tube that encased the Guardian’s last ditch effort to erase any color Strands from Existence. ‘What have you done!?” the Golden Strands shrieked in terror, ‘You’ve just unleashed the one thing that will consume us both!’ the voice trilled chirped, roared, and gurgled with terror as a thick Golden Blackish syrup spilled onto the floor.

“Who dares disturb my slumber… I was having a sex dream about some fine ass bitches, while drinking a forty, waving my fucking hand in the air because it got stuck in that fucking jar… Well, HELLO?!?” the syrup ranted as it condensed itself into a more recognizable form. “Resaec?” the Bloody Strands asked cautiously.

Back in the remains of the Cutting Dimension, Alex, Sho, and the Fragments now under his command traveled through an untold part of the Dimension, where even Gothemos knew nothing about it. “Shh… we’re here. This is Heta’s territory, she’s the leader of the Quaquin, she is the second most powerful leader of our kind. But I warn you, she specializes in powerful combo attacks.” Sho said quietly, motioning to her new master as Alex lead the way. “Well, I have faith in our lord Jesus Christ that nothing will-” Alex was interrupted as he heard someone from far away yell out a combo.

“Gamma, Beta, Qoppa, Sampi, Delta!” Hundreds of undead tap dancers jigged their ways from underground, as the closest one knocked Alex on his back while the others were busy rehearsing for their attack on the slowly growing army of Fragments. Alex watched in wonder as the tap dancer that held fast to him looked into his eyes with a kind of wonder and curiosity. Like a child looking at the birds in the sky, or hearing the sounds of the wind rustling through the leaves in the trees. Or even the excitement of knowing that Santa Claus was going to visit that night.

Then it head butted him.
Hard.
And fast.
And repeated the process five hundred times.
Driving Alex’s head into the ground further each time. “WHY -ow- DIDNT -ow- YOU -ow- WARN -ow- ME -ow-  ABOUT -ow- TAP -ow- DANCING -ow- ZOMBIES -ow- DEAR LORD IN -ow- HEAVEN!”

It was only five days later when the Zombies were actually ready, that there was drama in the dressing rooms, as a female Zombie found out her boyfriend, the Grim Reaper, was seeing someone with a pulse. She decided to leave the production and get answers to her questions. It turned out, the Grim Reaper had a sister, and he was only visiting her in the hospital, since she was pregnant with triplets. This deception only brought further curiosity to the broken non-beating heart of the female Zombie and she stabbed him in the eye socket. The Grim Reaper in return, took her to see the only flop available at the time. She returned two days later with a Botox induced smile on her rotting face only to discover that Alex and his Fragments had ripped her friends apart. Depressed even further, she tried hanging herself with a noose, only to discover that she couldn’t die. This discovery depressed her even further, so she wrote a book called “Going Rogue”. It sucked, but it sold pretty well.
It was five days later when Alex peered over the edge of the cliff to see the female Zombie writing on her laptop, while still hanging from the noose. Curious, the Preacher helped the Zombie back onto the cliff where she promptly introduced herself, and after some tea and biscuits, attacked him before her head was smashed in by Alpha and a sledge hammer.

“What the flying fuck was that all about?” Alpha said angrily as he helped omega off the ground, and watched as Nu, Xi, Pi, and Mu returned to Alex’s mind to repair themselves. “Dunno…” Omega said, “But did you see the way that Zombie back flipped, did the splits, lost a leg, and then proceeded to beat the crap out of Eta and San with said leg? My god! That was fucking brutal!” she laughed. “But the way you tore into those two hundred undead back up dancers for My Chemical Romance was fascinating! Where the fuck did you learn those moves!?” she asked amazed still more by Alpha’s agility.

“I just rummaged through Alex’s memories of all his high school dances. Twas nothing really.” the Fragment said with a bit of gusto. The Preacher looked at the Female Zombie’s laptop and recognized the name. “Sarah Palin was a Zombie all this time? That explains her intelligence level. Wait, no, this is her Daughter, Bristol Palin’s writing, ‘Going Rogue’ was a typo, the name was actually ‘Going Vogue’.” Sho looked around nervously for the next attack. “Master-”

“Seriously, what is up with calling me Master? Just call me by my name, Alex!” the Preacher interrupted. “Sorry master- I mean Alex, but I don’t think we should stand in one place for too long or else-” sho was interrupted as another combo was called out from the distance.

“Beta, Zeta, Iota!” she heard Heta’s voice call out. “Not good.” the Fragment said as Alex wondered what she meant.

“Why is that combo not good?” “Because, that’s the combo for calling up a evil clone of your target.” Sho breathed.

“Let me guess, like Pi did with that whole Xela thing?” Alex inquired. Sho nodded nervously. “Yeah, only except this time, this guy’s five thousand times more powerful then what Pi did. And five thousand times fa-” Sho fell down to the ground, and was launched in the air by several chainsaw wielding octopi. “WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE DAMNED CHAINSAWS!?” Sho raged as a Shadow slammed three clubs into her back, cracking five ribs, shattering her skull, and ripping through both arms. “Great… now I’m going to have the pleasure of growing these things back! Asshole.” she muttered as she returned to Alex’s mind, appearing next to her subordinates. “What!?” the four simply shrugged and went back to sleep.

The Shadow slammed into the ground, creating ten F12 mini tornadoes that ripped the seconds away from the ground that the tips touched. Alex yawned. “And who might you be? Wait, let me guess… Megaxela? Negalex? Some random mixing of the letters in my name?” the Preacher sighed as he tapped his foot. In the first tap, Alpha’s kneecaps were crushed, his windpipe torn from his throat, and his lungs torn apart from inside.

the second tap, Eta’s spine ripped out, snapped in two, and had one half shoved down his throat and the second stabbed through the side of his ribcage. The third tap, Tau’s head was shoved up Psi’s ass, Psi’s head, shoved up Chi’s ass, Chi’s head, shoved up San’s ass, and San’s head, shoved up Tau’s ass before each was slammed in the crotch with the blade of a two ton ax. The five Fragments returned to the room the others were in, eachs head, smelling like shit.

The fourth tap, Rho was impaled through herself as the Shadow snapped her in two and shunted one half up her own ass, causing Rho’s lower intestine to cut off her oxygen supply, suffocating her, and causing her to return to the others, smelling also like shit. “This is not a good thing at all. Alex can’t do anything that would remotely damae that bastard without us!” Alpha said, as his injuries slowly healed back up.

“Don’t forget, he’s a Preacher. And that shit burns like Hell.” Rho said, remembering the punishment Alex put her through. “For all our sakes, I hope you’re right Rho. Heta’s a whole fifteen thousand levels above Pi in terms of ability, no offense.” Sho said calmly as everything returned to it’s rightful place.

Pi shrugged. “Meh, your injuries are nothing compared to having our heads shoved up each others asses, and then having our heads, and crotches sliced in two by that freak of nature.” Omega nodded. “That thing did all of that, in just four taps of Alex’s foot. I hope he knows what he’s doing out there. Anyone want to take a bet?”

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“I think I just shit out my brain.” Morgan said as the Puperpeep shot out another beam of sexual frustration, the cylinder of pink light rocketing past his left ear and slamming into Nancy Grace’s face. “Let me check. Yep… there it is, on the floor right behind me, why does it have a little h …