The Puppet King sat alone between the volatile barriers that sat two million miles away from him on either side. His brow furrowed a little bit as he looked down upon the laser scapel set before him, trying to save a mans life. A bead of wooden sweat formed and fell off of the king, as the thin energy like strings gleamed a little of the darkness away form his thoughts. There wasn’t really much to think about though. He felt a little guilty that he wasn’t able to defeat the Gaurdians to obtain the power and strength needed the destroy the Golden Strands at their source.

“No… I can’t cut there.” he said out of the side of his mouth.

 The nervous fat man strapped to the operating table, rattled off index names for a file folder labled under “Zoophilian Odyshee” skatebaording.  Barney Fife got bored of playing doctor and casually tapped the laser scapel against the metal ring that surrounded the fat mans organs. A sad cloud formed over his head, the Puppet King not taking notice, not out of ignorance, but because there was too much at stake. “Why wasn’t I able to win!?” he screamed as the strings that rose to the infinite heights tensed up. The sad cloud had it’s faux black hair combed over its face as it simply bean cutting its wrists in an attempt to feel alive. The ice cold water flooded out of the wounds and crushed the nervous fat man under the tremendious weight of the sad cloud’s depression. Still no reaction from Barney.

“Why should there be a war between Existence and Non-existence? It just doesn’t make any sense! Don’t they realize that one cannot exist with out the other, and if one side should gain the upper hand over the other, then the tables will turn on the victor?” thunder rampaged across the lightless sky as the Avatars for the Door and the Chasm simply rose from the endless fog that slowly began the surround Barney Fife. “Why should you care of all people? Your no hero!” Chrissy Chasm scolded harshly.

“The Chasm represents all things the Door does not. And the Door shows all the things the Chasm cannot. So why should there be a war when it would be just as easy to forge an alliance between the two sides!?” Barney snapped back as he got to his feet just as the sad cloud floated on by the next mountain range, revealing a breath taking view of the single pulsating heart which bound all things together. Tina turned away from Barney, pointing outwards as Chrissy touched fingertip to that of her sister. Barney saw the colossal amount of force being exerted in the space between the fingers, and realized that should one touch the other, all would be lost. “This still doesnt explain the fighting though.” Barney grunted as he stretched his legs for a while. Tina laughed and shunted her hand just a bit more towards the center of the force ball.

“What’s there to explain?” Chrissy sighed, “Both Existence and Non-existence are simply states of flux, Existence being that light rebounds off of the body, therefor, you can thoroughly interact with the enviroment around you.” Tina’s hand had just punched through the other side of the force ball, her figertips, jamming themselves deep into Chrissy’s breast meat with out so much as a flinch from the woman. Tina laughed wildly as her sister simply stood there and finished explaining her own personal theories.

“And Non-existence-” she began with an audible shudder. “Is when nothing sees, hears, feels, or even perceives you.” her black and silver colored eyes began to glow sadly as she remembered the Chasm’s constant pain. Barney Fife seemed to understand none of it at all. Just then, he saw one warrior from each side step through the barrier and rush towards the other at almost insanely impossible speeds. A knight in bloody armor with several deranged looking blades seemingly piercing his body through out every angle of his chest flew from the Door of Existence’s side. While what looked like, much to Barney Fife’s exotic pleasure and gut wrenching disgust, a porn star in a french maid’s outfit from a shoot gone terribly wrong. Her legs and arms had holes, bursting with a foul stench of sour milk, Steve Jobs speeches about the new Iphone, and a Glenn Beck University degree in bullshitting. The two clashed with each other, raging against the other with almost lion like ferocity. But both were struck down in the first blows and simply swapped sides and ran towards each other again.

“It just seems so pointless to be fighting a never ending war in which you just get revived on the opposite side you started out on. So please,” Barney pleaded with the two Avatars for the massive opponents, “Tell me! What real choice does the Lost Wolf have? To fight or not to fight? To just wake up and pretend like none of his struggles or losses meant anything? What is it that you are both trying to say? is it simply that no matter how hard we try in our meangless lives that well simply restart on the enemies side, no matter who they happen to be?” the puppet king shouted with a deep, open, roar as tears leaked from his eyes. “Why did my master revive me? What possible point did he have to make!?” his fist hit the floor of fog with such power behind it, that the shock simply ripped a nearby Edgar James Lipton a new one. To which he was thankful.

The Puppet King looked up in fury, he was fighting a battle long since stale mated, there was nothing to lose anymore in his mind. “FINE!” he roared, as his mind twisted and splintered from the stress of everything.

“YOU WANT ME TO FIGHT!? YOU WANT TO KEEP FIGHTING A POINTLESS BATTLE THAT HAS A BEGINNING BUT NO END!?” the knight blindly charged at Barney Fife with both fire and rage in his cold, dead, and long since blinded eyes with sword drawn and shield flung at the Puppet King’s head. Still furious at his predicament, Barney let the shield connect with his head, the chip that was carved out, deep enough for it to stick out like a sore thumb. “Then I shall fight. Not for the Door of Existence, whose only merit is light rebounding off of it. Nor shall I fight for the Chasm of Non-existence, whose cold and deathly grip offers nothing more than a disturbed clawing of Reality.”

The knight continued to charge towards the great Puppet King. “La Magia Cadena De Negro: Doce Toneladas De Títeres Araña!” he whispered as the Black Strings which filled his body shot from his back, forming a mountain sized black wing while he finished his thought.

“Magia Blanca Cadena: Desilusionados Guadaña Sangrienta De Los Titanes Alma.” the white string that Tsuren Tao filled him with shot from his chest to form another giant wing. “Gris Cola Mágica: Titanes Araña Guadaña Sangrienta.” the Black and White string slammed together into a furious tornado of Hellish forces and twisted mind set.

“I… will fight for myself, and myself only! I CHALLENGE ALL TO ATTACK ME! REGARDLESS OF YOUR CHOSEN SIDE!”

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The Puppet King sat alone between the volatile barriers that sat two million miles away from him on either side. His brow furrowed a little bit as he looked down upon the laser scapel set before him, trying to save a mans life. A bead of wooden sweat formed and fell off of the king, as the thin …

The black and gold Syrup struggled to form into a recognizable shape as the Bloody Strands and the Golden Strands watched with a mild curiosity. “You stupid bitch! You’ve unleashed the one thing I cannot defeat!” it screeched in fury as it retracted back into a tight ball the size of a watermelon.

“Resaec? I thought you died! I saw Morgan smash you to death with the giant robot’s foot!” the Bloody Strands asked, quite shocked to see her former master alive and well. One thing she noticed right off the bat was that Resaec seemed to have lost all his ambition for the most part. “I-I don’t know where I am… O-or who I am!” the Black and Gold Syrup shouted as his liquid form tried to stabilize, but for some reason he couldn’t.

Resaec, snapped to attention as green and dark purple numbers flew across his eyes at blazing rates, and then his body slammed into the floor. “I know who I am. But… what am I?” the Watermelon Cop asked as his movie played on the big screen, caught unawares that the Golden Strands was at his front door, delivering unto him a folder full of jelly.

“So… you don’t know what you are?” the Golden Strands asked, wildly amazed at this turn of events. The former God of Terror shook his head as the Watermelon Cop scratched himself while answering the door, recieving a deadly blast of folder jelly to the face. ‘Fuck… the Wife’s not going to be happy when she gets home tonight.’ he thouht to himself as he returned to watching his Puppet Porn.

“I know who I  was  but… what am I?” Resaec asked again, quickly gaining his composure. The Bloody strands quickly intervened. “Resaec, you… you’ve become a weapon… an extremely devastating weapon of limitless power, with so much potential that you could in fact, devour entire universes in a single day… just like us.” the Bloody Strands sighed.

“Yes… Caasi is right. We are weapons made to destroy, engulf, consume, and obliterate everything we come across. You however, our new confused Sibling… are different.” “Different? How am I different!?” Resaec asked as he slowly formed his old body again with little to some trouble.

“You are Syrup, we are Strands. Strands shoot outwards, can twist and turn, create drills and spikes! Sryup… only suffocates and drowns its victim in a painfully agonizing acidic bath.” Resaec smiled and started to remember the shame that Morgan had put him to when it came to fights. “Well… then I assume that we three represent each of the three Dimensions?” the Golden Strands laughed insidiously as he formed a octopuses body and slapped tentacle after tentacle on the floor, pushing towards the Black and Gold Syrup.

“There is no Dream Dimension. There is no Waking Dimension. There is no Nightmare Dimension. The Reality of the mind has died, along with its Guardian, Asteroth.” Resaec could hardly believe his ears, “What!? My Kingdom is dead!? My home land is no more!? TELL ME WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DESTRUCTI-” the Golden Strands wrapped all eight tentacle as the Syrup’s neck, only for them to pass through harmlessly.

“I am.”  That was all it took for Resaec to cover the Golden Strands in front of him with a thick layer of inwardly crystalizing sryup. His ice cold eyes watched with out mercy as his new found enemy screamed in agony while giving him one warning.

“I AM ALL CONSUMING! THIS IS BUT A SMALL PORTION OF MY BODY!” the Golden Strands raged as the crystal’s compacted his form till there was no life left in the small sphere. “Then we shall find the your Heart, your Brain, and your Soul… and crush them with the hate and pain that you have caused all who’ve suffered at your hand.” Resaec said calmly as he sank into a puddle and slithered out of the former Council of Tens chambers.

The Bloody Strands were left in the room wondering what was to become of the event she had just witnessed.

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The black and gold Syrup struggled to form into a recognizable shape as the Bloody Strands and the Golden Strands watched with a mild curiosity. “You stupid bitch! You’ve unleashed the one thing I cannot defeat!” it screeched in fury as it retracted back into a tight ball the size of a waterme …

There is a place of such a high level of funk, so much hipster jive, so much hippy smell that it only has a few residents. That place is named the Simian Mobile Disco, an intergalactic toilet of the refuse that the god of funk spits out. These, are their tales!

may 30th, 2099pm.

It’s a normal day for the members of the funky secret society known as the Simian Mobile Disco as their members congregate for their daily net trollings, link sharing, and interpretive dance classes. The leader of this group is known as Darkside, a short chubby guy with a bush bigger then the afro on his head. He points galantly at the screen with one hand, and does the disco duck with the other, motioning his fellow Simian Discoers towards him. “Actually watch this shit people, its fucking amazing.” he says in a loud, proud bravado while punching the unfunky demon Dyethemblack in the face, who simply decides to convert and join the SMD in their on going three hour quest to find Suffers missing bag of Doritos!

DyeThemBlack, a small taiwanian girl with big black glasses and even bigger bright pink hair that puffs out from underneath her Stormtrooper helmet sighs, “It’s not the original video, which is even better. Oh wait, I thought you were talking about Hustler.” she says, adjusting herself while playing with hula hoops. Darksides eyes burst wide open, as his mind rockets towards the very funky thought of watching the original video and having unadulterated sex with Dyethemblack “THERES A BETTER VERSION?! WHERE?” the leader of the SMD striking a funkalicious pose and pointing towards the frozen, but slowly melting corpse of the former Admiral Barney Fife.

Suffer, the SMDs technological guru holds up a mighty, and neon colored hologram card with the correct link to the original video, while flashing a back lit, glow in the dark peace sign in the frozen corpses direction, for no other reason… then to be funky! “Here you go.” he says simply, with cool and forward thinking undertones. Dyethemblack snatches the hologram away from the tech guru and gives it to Darkside with a smile and a bit of jiggliness from jumping. “Here!” she says coyfully, “My link is better because it’s from me! tee hee!”

Suffer shakes his head, and notices that Darkside’s blond bush is growing faster, but decides a flamethrower would be better then an futuristic electric shaver. He sets the proud, inter planetary funk master a light in a desperate, and well earned, plea for more space in the small eight by ten room.

IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION!

“She lies!” he says, pointing his left index finger into the side of her right boob, “My link is the best link ever linked!” Suffer brags as disco porn music fills the air, and the bass starts pumping!

IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION!
   
Darkside grabs a hold of Dyethemblack, and plants a kiss on her, and then spits to the side as he watches the video that was linked to him. “um… not as good… IN THE FOURTH DIMENSION!”

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There is a place of such a high level of funk, so much hipster jive, so much hippy smell that it only has a few residents. That place is named the Simian Mobile Disco, an intergalactic toilet of the refuse that the god of funk spits out. These, are their tales! may 30th, 2099pm. It’s a normal day …

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Outside of the mobile mansion, it was a serene and quiet winter wonderland, covered in hundreds of reindeer and elf corpses which lined the devestating battle between Santas good and evil. “Ho, ho, ho!” the Evil Santa replied as the Good Santa brought out his big red sack, scratched it, and then p …

The black orb sucked in dirt, gravel and bits and pieces of the Cutting Dimension itself as Xela laughed evilly. ”Agemo, Agemo, Ix, Un, Um!” he crowed as the black orb of crotch energy was dry humped into an even more ferocious form as it grew arms that ended in razor blades, legs that ended in rusted chainsaws, gnashing horrid teeth that shredded the very daylight from the sky, and an evil eye that finally did what many could not, shut the women on the View up for ten minutes. And in those ten minutes, Alex saw the fullest fury of what he was going up against. 

“Xi, Nu, Alpha, Omega!” Alex roared back as a halo of lightning zapped into being over his head and a bright white orb started forming inside of it. ”Through the power of God shall you be known, and through the power of Darkness shall ye fail!” Xela screamed as he rushed towards Alex with unparalleled speed, as Alex simply directed the beams of light that shot from the white orb. 

“Alpha, Omega, Mu, Nu, Xi!” the beams curved left, then bent right, then drove themselves underground while Xela took a moment to gloat. ”Ha! You can’t even-” Alex smiled as the beams slammed through Xela’s head and body as it fell to the ground like a rag doll. 

“I can’t believe he was that… never mind. I guess we have to fight.. well… what ever that is.” the Preacher sighed to himself as he pointed in disappointment at the black orb of crotch energy still rampaging towards him. ”Mu, Nu, Xi, Omega, Alpha!” the Preacher called out as the monsters black lightning like hands slammed him to the ground, and punched him through the chest into the air. The white halo shot off the top of his head and wrapped itself around its neck, the monster shivering as it was slowly choked of the life giving air.

 ”Nu, Xi, Mu!” Alex called out, rocketing the monster up into the air under one pillar of light, and while ten thousand more slammed through it from above. The thunderous explosions let him know the deed was done.Mu and Nu looked at each other, then to Alex, who had simply sat down while the still smoking remains of Xela slowly, and jerkily stood up.

 ”You… you think I’m done with-“ ”Nu, Mu!” the Negapreacher fell to the ground as his body was pelted with explosive darts that ripped through his glass like body as if it was a wet paper bag.  ”Yes… I think you are done with me. But I am not done with you. Tell, me where I can find the one known as Pi?” Aex asked with a smile on his face as Xela’s head still lived.

 Xela simply smiled and started to glow. “birthday cake.” Alex was confused by this. “huh?”

Xi smiled as he recognized his brother’s voice. “You bastard! Why’ed you attack us like that? And more importantly, why’ed you give up so easily?” the Fragment asked its sibling.As Xela’s body shrunk into a shard of blue crystal, Alex opened up the tray in his neck and placed Pi’s shard next to Alpha and Omega’s,  near Mu, Nu, and Xi’s as well. 

“Well that certainly was invigorating, and easy to use as well!” Alex said happily, continuing on his way as the Fragments conversed amongst themselves. They were located inside a memory of Alex’s where he was in a conference room with a large table that had thirty one leather seats. Alpha and Omega next to each other, while the four sat together to the right of Alpha. ’So I guess this means we’ll have to call ourselves something right?’ Omega asked quietly.

Alex listened in on the conversation, and often asked questions about where they might need to go to find this Fragment, or if there was any meaning in the number of letters in their names. ’Actually there is, now that you mention it. The larger the name, the stronger the Fragment, but at the same time, the smaller the name, the more spread out the attack will be.’ Pi explained. ‘My brothers and I are the weakest of the thirty one Fragments of Reality, but Alpha and Omega are the weakest of Stigma’s group.’  Alex was simply amazed that the Fragments had their own ranking systems.

“Stigma? Who’s that?” Alex asked as he stepped over a tiny blue whale that was beached. “Wait, you guys are named after theGreek alphabet?” ’Yeah, pretty much.’ Omega chimed in. She put her hand in Alpha’s and the kissed, which drew a few retching sounds from Mu and Nu. 

‘Heta is our leader. Alpha and I are from the Quaquin group of the Fragments. While Mu, Nu, Xi, and Pi are from the Duotri, lead by Sho.’ Omega continued. Alex had a lot to take in, since he had just learned about the Fragments only two weeks ago. “So that must mean there is a third leader floating around there somewhere. Right?” 

‘Correct, her name is Stigma, she’s the leader of the Sexasept group.’ Mu answered happily. ”So does that mean someone is the boss of those three?” Alex questioned. 

‘How do you mean?’ Alpha replied as he looked around the room. ”You know, like a leader that Stigma, Heta, and Sho report to?” 

‘Nope. Those three were elected leaders by majority vote, the way they lead is different. Stigma leads by strength, Sho leads by wisdom, and Heta leads by defense.’ Xi said in a weird tone of voice.Tina slammed the blue Pool Noodle down on Chrissy’s head while Tina Door slammed the woman’s head into a pile of rocks on the ground.

 ”So is that the best you can do?” Chrissy said as she wiped dirt off her face. ”I’m bored of this, SCENE CHANGE!” the reprsenative for the chasm roared as the pool noodles turned into boxing gloves packed to the gills with hundreds of yotta tons of tiny Hydrogen bombs and a watter bottle filled with Nitro. 

“Why?” the Knight in bloody armor said as he was socked in the face by Al Gore with one such boxing glove. The explosion defied all laws of governing physics, as the of the explosion was not only direct, but focused in such a way that not even the Chasm could imagine the devastation. Chrissy barely had time to react, in effect, half her rib cage had been ripped clear off her body, and she simply fell into the continuous stream of yotta degreed energy. ”Guess that means I wi-” Tina’s legs were shredded from beneath her as the energy bounced off the ground and slammed through her face, and fell to the ground. The Door and the Chasm giggled in silence as they secretly enjoyed that tiny spectacle which they watched, as the energy, with no real place to go, simply refracted out of a tiny prism that turned it into a rainbow of death. A new voice raged out of the energy stream, 

“I am Royg Biv! Leader of the Prism People’s Revolution!” the man said as he stepped out of the rays of death like light, and was instantly cut in half by his own creator. ”MOTHER FUCKER!” he shouted in pain.

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The black orb sucked in dirt, gravel and bits and pieces of the Cutting Dimension itself as Xela laughed evilly. “Agemo, Agemo, Ix, Un, Um!” he crowed as the black orb of crotch energy was dry humped into an even more ferocious form as it grew arms that ended in razor blades, legs that ended in rust …

Morgan looked in disbelief at what had just transpired in front of him.

‘What the fuck!?’ the severed head thought to itself, as the mind started to come back online.

“Dearest sister! I’ve miss you ever so much!” Joseph said in honey sweet tones that made Aneeh shiver in her non-boots.

 ’I really don’t like him any more.’ the Arhem woman stated next to the Deom as Credion had only one option to use. She was about to press the ‘eject person’ button when Morgan’s voice entered her mind.  ’No… not yet.. wait till you can see the whites of his eyes… then fire with Hell’s fury.’ this order made no sense to Credion what so ever and she simply pressed the button.

A large diamond studded Foxy Boxing glove slammed into the Arhem woman’s face from underneath Aneeh and sent her flying out of the dislodged eyeball of Morgan. “There you are dearest sister, I’ve missed you ever so much! Bāṣpīkaraṇīya tūphāna!” Joseph commanded as he held out his hand. A tiny hatch opened up and a little platform with a tiny  stadium popped out, where a small little known boy band performed for thousands of screaming Nonobots, that is until Joseph slammed his fist into and unleashed the full fury of ten million angry fans upon Aneeh’s form.

 ”This is what you get for disappointing Father Aneeh Arhem! Pānī kē kāma kē sātha vikāsa kī samasyā’ōṁ!” her brother shouted as hundreds of bills for stadium damages were thrown at Aneeh, slamming her in the arms and legs with dollar amounts she didn’t know existed. “How do you like them apples!?” her brother laughed as shark fins burst through the space around him, signaling their arrival.

 ”I don’t like apples! They make me fart!” Aneeh screamed back at her brother as debt collectors with Yakuza Ducktails started circling her. “Where’s our money!?” they asked her furiously as she gave her dirty looks that somehow lumped clods of dirt on her face.

“My brother has the money, ask him.” the collectors twisted their snake like forms together and charged at Joseph who calmly raised his hand again. “Glēna baika, maiṁ tumakō bulānē!” he called out as storm clouds gathered in the middle of space, for no reason at all. All at once, the ghost of New York City appeared like a fog, until a man in a tattered trench coat and a burning brief case walked out from the slowly evaporating spirit of the city.

“Direct me Master, for you have summoned me, and I am insane beyond belief!” the spirit said as the brief case opened up and let loose the dogs of Fox News. “Kill her, Glenn Beck.” jospeh commanded his servant.

“She is going to release a personal book against you, and you will summon the demons at your disposal! now!” Glenn Beck’s eyes shot fire out in several waves, the flames lashing out at Aneeh Arhem, who simply raised her hand and spoke the ancient rite, which brought forth a creature just as powerful, if not more, than Glenn Beck himself. “Ērika Massa, apanē gadhē vahām̐ aura glēna becks ahaṅkāra kō māra ḍālō!” Aneeh smiled and gave a quick look back to the floating head of Morgan, whose body was slowly coming back together.

Nordafet was both shocked and stupified. “How the fuck are we supposed to fight Glenn Beck!? He’s fucking insane!” the deom screamed, slamming his fist on the inside of Morgan’s skull. Reason, still amazed at the hallucination Morgan just had quietly commented “Eric Massa.”

Credion nodded quietly. “Yes… Eric should be strong enough to out crazy Glenn Beck’s idealistic insanity. But the question is, will he give us the proof that he’s been wasting our time?” Reason poked his head out of the energy cloud that floated above the floor below Nordafet’s location.  ”He must! He must out crazy Glenn Beck! Eric Massa and his tickle fighting skills must over power Glenn fucking Beck!” the Persona shouted.

Out side the battle was already heavily underway, with brother against sister, their eyes locking and never leaving the others gaze once. The two summoned creatures did battle by sitting at a blue desk facing each other.  ”Someone’s writing a book about me! There are literally dark forces out to get me and my Communatzi party! Social injustice!” Glenn Beck shot at Eric Massa, unleashing a tidal wave of insanity that came in the form of gold plated rubber ducks, emblazoned with the image of their lord and masters, Bert and Ernie Hitler.

“Oh yeah?” Eric began to shoot back. “Guess what? I’ve had my fortieth birthday party in a room filled with guys, and we were tickle fighting! Hya! Beware my skills of the Tickle Ninjas!” Eric fired back, positioning his fingers on the sides of Glenn’s neck and rubbing furiously, unleashing an army of Tickle Ninjas, armed with the latest in Tickle Torture Technology. The Door and Chasm waged a stalemated war against each other, both their armies had been killed and reborn one hundred thousand times, and they showed no signs of stopping. The Granite Statues fell on top of the broken bodies of their previous selves, ruptured open, and the contents roared out ready for battle, the Knight in bloody armor gasped for a single breath before a giant foot with faces on the bottom of each toe, stabbed him in the face with a slab of umbrella tooth picks.

“Now stay down, bitch!”  the foot’s little toe screamed with a fury that melted the polar ice cap next to him. “What the fuck! Dude! Global warming?” the ice cap shrieked as the most lethal weapon of the Chasm punched through the quickly melting ice caps.

“We’re facing the ugly truth people!” the Knight, in its current lifes last moments, swore to himself as Al Gore stood above him like a demon with a freshly pressed suit. Exafanisi Tis Kardias screamed as Sho beat her down with little to no mercy what so ever. The fragment unleashed a fiery pile driver that ripped the Plant Woman’s right arm off, picked it up and slapped Exafanisi around so hard, that pieces of her simply exploded off her body.

“No! My other boob! Why must my boobs explode with the rage of Mount Olympus on crack!?” she screamed as her hands burst into a storm cloud of vines that wrapped around Sho’s neck, arms, legs, and waist. “You!” she raged with a full hatred in her eyes, that could only be explained as the Devil’s worst nightmare. “Shall DIE! Your soul… IS MINE! Parali̱ri̱tikés parádeisos:̱ Rip thánatos!” Exafanisi screamed as the vines pulled the Fragment in all directions, but Sho simply yawned.

“Is this really all of the ex-lover of the Ruby Wolf can do? Pathetic, let me show you how it’s really done! Parali̱ri̱tikés parádeisos:̱ rip thánatos!”  The Fragment’s arms duplicated Exafanisis movements exactly, but her vines were flexible chainsaws that seemingly wrapped Exafanisi in a thick ball of sharp blades.

“Kommatáki Tyfó̱nas!” the Fragment roared as the Plant Woman felt the blades slowly grid her to a pulp. The blades, tearing little chunks off at first, then grew longer till they were like the ravenous mouths of Rihana fans everywhere, looking to tear Chris Brown apart. “You see, this is how it’s done… I sense there is still some Humanity in you… but the Golden Strands have all but devoured you!” she said in a cold voice. “You shall die a mercifully quick death, Plásma alésmatos:̱ Ekató chiliádes si̱meío tou fo̱tós!” Sho bellowed as she whipped her arms around wildly, the chainsaws turning a violently glowing white and setting off a chain of explosions that tore the very essence of Exafanisi’s soul apart.

‘Rest in pieces, and burn! Plásma alésmatos:̱ Ekató chiliádes si̱meío tou fo̱tós!’ Sho repeated the move, again and again, till the ashes of the last burning pieces of the Golden Strands turned to ash, till even the remains of Exafanisi exploded with the force of five hundred thousand Hiroshima’s rebounded against each other for a thousand eons in just several microseconds. “Fare well!” Sho said as she returned to her watchful post as a single Red Strand rose from the pile of ash behind her.

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Morgan looked in disbelief at what had just transpired in front of him. ‘What the fuck!?’ the severed head thought to itself, as the mind started to come back online. “Dearest sister! I’ve miss you ever so much!” Joseph said in honey sweet tones that made Aneeh shiver in her non-boots. ‘I re …

WORLD WIDE BABY! WORLD FUCKING WIDE!

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There was a loud crack in the air as the Colossus of Darkness threw its fist into the space just a few yards above the battle field where the forces of Existence and Non-Existence were waging a bloody war against each other and the monstrous planetoid that was attacking them both. It was pure hell as the Door was gradually being weakened by the backyard assault the golden strands had launched repeatedly against the Guardians realities, while the Chasms own problems seemed to become more apparent with each loss and rebirth of the soldiers it kept losing. It seemed as though with each rebirth, they became less and less willing to fight, but something kept at their heels none the less. Even Joseph had some trouble becoming motivated enough to keep the fighting spirit he usually had.

Enigmatt slashed his way through the endless amoutns of Creatures that Joseph threw at the Tingion prince, even throwing some food items at him noticing how badly he reacted when ever one of his own food based attacks was launched. “SKITTLE BIKER GANG!” Enigmatt roared as a giant bag of skittles fell from the sky. Enigmatt braced himself for the worst as the skittles, all with do rags, baggy pants, tattoos of the hard time they did in the bag of rainbow colored candy, and weapons filed into a seemingly orderly line. Enigmatt heldo ut his hand longingly, wishing for just a simple nibble upon one of the many delicious ten foot tall flavored snacks. But he knew his heart couldnt take the break up that well. He simply pointed his finger, and one of the ed skittles let a single tear drop down his cheek. “We love you!” “Don’t say that! Just go! Go attack your precious enemy, maybe he can give you the satisfactory fight that I couldnt!” Enigmatt said, hurt and betrayed.

Joseph simply looked awe struck at just how ridiculous this had all become. ”Oh for gods sake! Bahu pōrṭala mauta haṛatāla!” Joseph said as the Tingion of the red skittle with a black and white skull do rags continued their fighters quarrel. “He could never give you a punch to the face that I could! Remember that time in florida, the boxing club?” Enigmatt said, tears falling from his eyes like he smaller waves leading up to a huge tsunami. The red skittle had no choice. He turned himself around, his back to the Tingion and said quietly. “I will NEVER forget the power behind your punches. But we all have jobs to do, and even if those jobs mean we have to fight others… We are meant to do them! Understand!?” the red skittle said as the others nodded in agreement. Enigmatts tail drooped again. Several hundred glowing portals opened behind the other skittles. Enigmatt saw what was happening, but couldnt reach the others in time to stop the slaughter as wave upon wave of needles Shot through the skittle gang, falling the horde of rainbow flavored candies in just a few seconds. “NO!” Enigmatt yelled as he fell to his knees, holdingo ut his hands in a futile attempt to change what had transpired. The red skittle had lost his arm, and half its calf had been ripped to sheds as it limped back to Enigmatt, its mouth in a half smiled. “Thats it! Come back to me! you can make-” Enigmatt was traumatized, anger, and hurt even more by what happened next. Joseph smiled asseveral portals opened up all around the red skittle, blocking any and all exit. And causing Enigmatt to scream in roaring tones. “YOU LEAVE HIM ALONE! HES MY FIGHTER, AND YOU WILL NOT-” but he was too late. The Tingion prince heard the screams of pain and hopelessness that the red skittle emitted as sounds like machine gun fire ricocheted through Enigmatt’s ear drums. “No…” he sniffed as he hit the ground with so much force it caused a crater to form. “SKITTLE!” Enigmatt screamed with rage as his eyes turned blacker then the heart of a super massive black hole. “No more joking around Joseph.” the Tingion said in a deathly furious voice. ”Now is the time for you to pay for the death of my father.” Enigmatt summoned his sword and Shot straight at Joseph, who simply smiled.

Reason had Aneeh strapped to a laboratory table with nothing but a few sparse articles of clothing. “What do you plan on doing to me!?” Aneeh asked in a panicked voice. Reason simply put on a pair of rubber gloves, reached under the table and plled out a pair of prongs. “First, I’m going to explore every inch of your physiology. Then, I’m going to, as painfully as I possibly can, rip out those rune stones that are all over your body.” the split said as he smiled underneath the surgeons mask. “Unlike Morgan, who is a lot more reserved then me… I like going all out!” he yelled in an excited tone of voice. Credion simply locked the Door behind her as the man with the ocnstantly changing clothes began his work. Alex had just walked out of the forest of disection, with a back pack full of Leviathan jerky in one hand and a crystal ball in the other. Alpha and Omega trailed behind a little bit wondering about the past of Alex despirito, and why he had just this much power in his book of words. “I HAVE COME FOR YOUR SOUL PR-” Alex decided right then and there that he would just have to put up with the stupidity of the situation at once. “All right… COME ON OUT! ALL OF YOU!” the preacher Shouted at the edge of the forest line. He looked out into a desert full of blue sand and bright red trees for a minute. “What is this place?” he asked Alpha. “Don’t know. Pretty much in the same boat as you. So who have you taken out so far?” the fragment said as he tapped Omega on the hsoulders and pointed towards a slwoly growing hill. “So far, I’ve taken out Amon, and Leviathan. So… That only leaves… Lucifer, belphagor, Mammon, Beezlebub, and someone else… But I forget who exactly.” they preacher said as the four remaining Lords of Hell popped out of a demented clown car with the foxnews logo on it. “And there they are. LOOK, I know you’re just trying your best to kill me off, for whatever Reason you have, but I just iced two of your number… So back off.” Lucifer looked at Mammon with a bit of a confused attitude. “But your holy.” the prince of darkness said as his tail waggled to and fro. “And? GODS BLESSING TO YOU!” Alex screamed as he rammed a tiny pencil crucifix into Lucifers left eye. Surprisingly, nothing happened at first. “WHAT THE HEAVEN WAS THAT!?” the devil screamed as he grabbed his eye.

Alex stood tall none the less. “I mean, you could REALLY HURT SOMEONE like that!” Alpha looked confused. “Um… Excuse me, lord of lies, destroyer of all that which… Fuck it. Dude, we are trying to gather twenty eight others like myself and my sister here. Could you, like, I don’t know… Go away? all of you?” Mammon seemed uncomfortable with having something so tiny tell him off. “But-” “GO!” Alpha screamed as he pointed behind him into the forest of disection. “AND TAKE STEPHEN COLBERT WITH YOU! God!” “TRUTHINESS!” “SHUT THE FLYING FUCK UP STEPHEN, NO ONE CARES!” Omega said as she belted him across the back of the head. The remaining Lords of Hell shuffled past them until Beezlebub stopped suddenly. “Um… Can we have our cds back? I lent you my garth brooks collector’s edition, and I really, would just-” Alex stabbed the lord of hell in the eye with another crucifix. “WHAT THE HEAVEN!? dude he just wanted his Garth Brooks CD back!” Mammon said, then scurried past the trio while screeching in pain as Alex stabbed him in the foot with a knife. Alex looked at Alpha, who looked at Omega, who looked at Alex. “What? sometimes you just got to smack a lord of hell in the face. Reminds them whos really in charge here.” Alpha smiled quaintly as they continued their journey. “So what does this Doutri village look like? Hey look! A big pale of ice cream!” Alex Shouted with joy as he picked it up and started scooping large handfuls out of it to the horror of the fragments. “Like a big pale of ice cream.” Omega said as she snatched the pale away from Alex. “But… It can’t be a city, its too small!” the preacher protested. “Have you learned nothing with us? I mean, come on, we just told the Lords of Hell to go fuck themselves. And here comes Beezlebub again.” the lord of gluttony floated close to them. “Can’t I have my garth brooks cd back? Stephen wanted to listen to the sound track of jersey Shore… And then Lucifer stabbed him in the face with a tree.” Alex didn’t want to deal with this idiot anymore. “Fine… I’ll give you my ipod. If you promise not to come near me… Within five light years.” the Lord of Hell nodded eagerly as he queefed with joy.

Joseph and Enigmatt were in the throes of combat, each unleashing their most devasting attack, and neither giving up until a gaint foot slammed Joseph until the ground with a really loud squelch. “Okay then!” Enigmatt chided as he ran over to the exposed leg and stomped on the ankles. “TAKE THAT! Thanks huge gnarly dude!” the Tingion waved at the colossus of darkness before a red light engulfed him. “I have to go now of all times!?” he said as he disappeared from the war between the Chasm of Non-Existence and the Door of Existence. Morgan felt his twin leave as the Creature punched him in the face repeatedly until he fell off a cliff, landing in a pile of Deom chest plates and swords with the hands still gripping them. “How’s it feel Morgan? How’s it feel to be on the losing side for once!” the Creature Shouted with joy as his eyes focused. “The key of plains, that thing that Credion changed you into the beast almost five hundred years ago, causing this mess!? Where is it!?” the Creature asked excitedly as he jumped from the cliff and planted a foot onto Morgans face, pushing his head but a few inches away from the point of a pile of daggers that were pointing upward. Credion rose out of Morgan and watched with pity as the Creature she knew was long gone. “If only my brother were here. OH THERE HE IS! WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN!?” Credion Shouted angrily at the Deom male running from what appeared to be a hord of japanese women in maids outfits trying to feather dust him to death. “A LITTLE BUSY!” he said with a pained expression of panic.

The Council of Ten were on high alert as Technarl directed each of their movements in order to counter whatever plans the Chasm might’ve put into place. “Oh you really don’t need to worry about the Chasms plans right this moment.” a clone of Joseph appeared to say as Technarl simple Shooed him away. “Well, we do one thel ess, now if you’re just going to buzz around my head all day, then I’ll obliterate you.” “Just like you obliterated barney fife?” the clone questioned innocently. “Wow… You are just full of surprises today arent you! GO THE FUCK AWAY!” he Shouted as three figures beamed into the center of the room. “You have things under control here?” the blonde woman in the bright red dress asked calmly with a smile on her face. “To a certain extent.” Technarl said without looking up. “Look, Kim, I don’t mean any disrespect here, but I’ve already got this jack ass of a clone pissing me off and screwing up the councils synch with the other Guardians. I don’t need you adding to our problems.” Technarl retorted. Kim simply walked over behind Technarls mechanical back and wrapped her arms around him in a lovers embrace. “I love the way your gears sound withi n that hollow metal body of yours, Guardian of technology.” Kim Lecest said with a coy tone of voice. “It makes me excited that you are the one to take over Segroths place after his death!” Technarl simply worked quietly, ignoring the keepers words. “Segroth? He died months ago, the Chasm placed a nonobot right under our noses, and it took a revival of barney fife to find that out. You know what that hsows? a lack of preparation on our part.” Kim squeezed tighter slowly, the metal plates covering Technarls body bending inwardly slightly. “Well, then keep doing your job. The other two are waiting for my report. I’ll be watching.” she said with a glee filled laugh. As she walked by the Joseph clone, she lightly tapped in on the forehead between his eyes. “Turn to ash.” she whispered in a ice cold voice. The clone burst into flame as raging infernos ripped through his body.

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“YOU HAVE TO GET ME AWAY FROM HIM!” Aneeh cried into Morgans arms unexpectedly. “He’s so cruel to me! All I want to from his soul to pass on to the other side, so that way he can be at peace! Why is that so hard to understand!?” Morgan seemed to be confused at the sudden change in attitude. “Why should I help you, after all this time? After all, you have pretty much campaigned against me from the start of this whole thing… or don’t you remember?”Aneeh looked up to Morgan, tears in her eyes as a grimace of dispair flashed across it. “YOU DON’T KNOW THE HELL THAT I HAVEB EEN THROUGH WITH HIM!” “I am well aware the of race to the head of a royal family. And ALL that it entails. Give me another reason why I shouldn’t just take this opportunity and snap your pretty little neck?” Morgan said callously as the war between the Door of Existence and the Chasm of Non-existence raged in all directions for light years around them. The explosions and screams of the dead or dying seemed like white noise to both the Human and the Arhem woman.

“What… What are you saying!?” Aneeh panicked, her heart racing just below her left breast, as beads of sweat started to form on her forehead. She looked into the Humans stony green eyes, and for the first time, actually took note of all that he hadb een through with her. “I’msaying… That if you give me a good enough reason, I won’t snap your neck. And if you give me and even better reason, I just might help you out. I’ve seen what he, no both of you-” “BUT THAT WAS ON ORDERS FROM THE CHASM!” “Reguardless. See that big hulking thing laying waste to both side right the fuck now!?” Morgan pointed towards the Colossus of Darkness as it rampaged across the battlefield, its massive feet snuffing out hundreds of thousands of lives in mere seconds. Aneeh watched with a slight glimmer of happiness in her eyes. But then felt the piercing glare of Morgan.

“That… Was my friend. And thanks to you and your brother, well… You know that rest.” the Human turned away, drew his sword and slashed hard, stopping just mere milimeters from the frightened womans neck. “YOU DID THAT TO HIM! SO EXPLAIN WHY, EXPLAIN IT TO ME WHY I SHOULDN’T END YOUR LIFE RIGHT HERE, AND RIGHT THE FUCK NOW YOU LITTLE BITCH!” he said with volume so full of rage, anger, and hate that Aneeh was knocked to her knees. The Indian woman started crying out of sheer frustration. “I don’t know-” “WHAT!? I COULDN’T HEAR YOU! I THINK MY ARMS MOVING AGAIN-” “I SAID I DON’T KNOW! MY BROTHER IS THEO NE THAT MADE THE CONTRACT WITH THE CHASM!” Aneeh screamed as she felt the blades edge scrape gently across her neck. Morgan picked her up and punched heri n the stomach. “IS IT YOUR BROTHERS DOING THAT YOU THREW ME OUT OF A FUCKING HOSPITAL WINDOW? IS IT YOUR BROTHERS DOING THAT YOU HAVE ALLIGNED YOURSELF WITH A MALEVOLENT FORCE? IS IT YOUR BROTHERS FAULT THAT YOU HAVE TURNED INTO THIS FUCKING MONSTER!? MAKE ME A FUCKING DEAL OR I SWEAR TO WHO EVER THE FUCK IS THE GOD AROUND HERE THAT I WILL SKEWER YOU FIVE HUNDRED TIMES THROUGH PLACES THAT YOU NEVER KNEW YOU FUCKING HAD!” Morgan raged and ranted, as with each question came a blow to the face that Aneeh took the brunt of. The bruises were painful, but not as painful as watching her dear beloved brothers soul be slowly torn to shreds inside the mouth of the Chasm. “You want a deal?” she whispered angrily, “Ill make you a fucking deal. If you free my brothers soul from that… Thing… Not only will I help you get the Creature back to normal…” she paused, hesitating at the very thought of what she was about to say, knowing he could very well take advantage of the offer. “Ill- ill-” “YOULL FUCKING WHAT!?” Morgan interrupted with another blow to her face with theh ilt of his sword. “COME ON ANEEH, TIMES WASTING, THE CHASMS WINNING, AND YOUR BROTHERS SOUL AINT PASSING OVER ANY FASTER!” Aneeh started crying as Morgan threw her to the floor and started to walk away, dragging the massive sword behind him angrily as he listened to Aneehs broken tears.

“I’ll serve you, follow any orders you give… No matter what they are.” Morgan stopped in his tracks as he contemplated the offer. “ANYTHING?” he shouted back, making sure that Aneeh knew what she was getting herself into. “Yes!” she shouted through the heart breaking sobs. Morgan was silent for a moment before bolting back to her and slashed through her body ten times before punching her in the head three and then snapping her neck. “I accept your deal. Now put yourself back the fuck together and lets get this thing over with.” Morgan said as the mangled and twisted corpse of Aneeh Arhem melted back together, perfectly healed. She was startled and terrified at what he had just done to her. “But how!?” Aneeh said through a combination of horror and amazement. “I just infused you with credions deom energy. Be thankful that I didnt kill you three seconds before she got into your dna. By the way?” Morgan snapped his fingers and Aneeh found herself inside a room with stairs leading to Doors that led to more stairs. Sometimes the Doors would lead to stairs she had already traversed, and then she looked around her to find that there were twelve of her, traversing different stair cases at different speeds, sometimes looking around themselves, other times laughing, crying, or shouting. “Where am i?” she said to herself as a familiar voice entered her head. “Wow… I was thought for sure he was going to ask you to have sex with him. This changes things a bit.” credions voice sounded off from Aneehs own throat. “Yeah… I guess it does. For now.” Aneeh said with out any hesitation. “Shouldn’t have done that.” credion whispered as the room of stairs faded away, the twelve other Aneehs were impaled ten times each and thick heavy manacles clamped on to every available space on her body. “Whats he doing to me?” Aneeh wondered. “Nah… He’s not here at the moment. This is reasons realm. Morgans split, they workedo ut some sort of weird agreement, and now Morgans in control on the outside, while reason has the inside covered. Technically, this means you do whatever reason says as well.” Aneeh found that the ground had dropped out from underneath her and she lay on a lab table with leather straps holing her in place. “And I don’t think reasons going to hold back on you.” credion said wistfully as she laughed and a discolored version of Morgan with constantly changing clothing walked up with a surgeons mask on.

Joseph looked on in wonder as his sister disappeared in a puff of fire as Morgan cut through her before punching Aneeh in the head. “Well… I guess that problem takes care of itself… But still… Its the brotherly thing to take revenge on his sisters killer.” Joseph contemplated with a bored yawn. ‘this little drama bores you Joseph? I thought-’ the Chasm was interrupted as jospeh started to walk out from the shadowy covering. The Colossuss foot rushing past overhead. “I wonder Morgan… What iwll you do against a person that has total faculty over their emotions?” the Indian man said with a bit of frustration added to his voice for flare. “Nothing, my beefs not with you.” Morgan said as Enigmatt landed on his feet behind the Human as he walked away. “DID SOMEONE SAY BEEF!?” Enigmatt shouted gleefully as his heart raced with the love for food that rivaled with love he had for his wife. “No… I said, that he took your waffle warriors children, and beat them down to a buttery, syrupy mess before eating them for breakfast.” Morgan said simply as Enigmatts blue head of shoulder length hair seemed to bristle with anger. “Now you are going to die. I have things I have to do, people to rescue-” “NO YOU DON’T!” jospeh said angrily as bits of ghostly flame errupted from the cracks that appeared in his body. “You know… They have pills to help you with that sorto f thing. I’ll leave him to you Enigmatt.” Enigmatt instantly recognized Joseph. “You…” was all he said before charging, his blue energy shaping into five swords of equal length that fastened themselves to his arms, legs just above his knees, and the tip of his tail. “Now you pay for my fathers death!” Enigmatt said with a deathly glare of undying rage in his stark blue Tingion eyes.

Sarah and the Inner Beast found themselves back to back against a horded of what seemed to be a pack of cute fluffy sheep with coats whiter then snows. “What the flying fuck is going on around here?” the Inner Beast chimed in as the lead sheep stood on his hind legs, pulled out a dark black fedora and a pair of aviator shades and simply pointed his hoof forward. “Youve been baaaaad.” it crooned as the others followed suit. Sarah slapped her head. “I shouldve guessed that wed be attacked by the boy band of the animal kingdom. YOUR GRAMMY NOMINATION HAS BEEN REVOKED! Desolazione della macelleria!” Sarah quipped as her hands became giant cleavers with bits of sheep fur on them. “How the hell did you pull that off?” the Inner Beast said angrilly. “Never mind that and just clobber thel ittle fuckers before they break into a bad dance remake!” Sarah commanded as the sheep in the hat and sunglasses did just that. “Baaaaack streets baaaack tonight!” “NO! BAD SHEEP! VERY BAD, NAUGHTY SHEEP!” the Inner Beast screamed as she punched the lead animal in the face, breaking his glasses. “Now… Youve made it personal. THOSE WERE A FUCKING GIFT!” it raged before its head was cleaved off. Exafanisi in the Waking Dimension seemingly faded into the middle of the duotri encampment. Her captive lay by her feet unmoving as blodd poured from her nose and mouth. “Now where are you sho… Come to mama.” the plant woman whispered to herself before feeling a sharp pain richochet through the inside of her body. “Here I am… Woman.” Exafanisi found herself launched through a giant four thousand year old redwood that simply popped into existence, simply because it felt the need to let someone slam into its rock hard trunk. It turned around with an evil glare in its eyes. And then it flashed a thumbs up. “Built forest tough.” “Shut… UP!” Exafanisi yelled as the tree caught fire and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

“Stop playing your games and fight me!” Exafanisi screamed in pain as the Fragment giggled innocently. “oh there is nothing innocent about that laugh! I SHOULD KNOW!” Sho appeared before her, crystalline in appearance with a cannon as her main weapon strapped to her back. “kruis kanon!” Sho called out in a friendly, yet lazy tone of voice. “Huh?” Exafanisi questioned as a beam of light passed through her face, burning the traps off that composed her skin and revealing the broken, and disturbing remains of the woman that was once Caasi Gavin. “So… You were his at one point. Well, no matter anymore. You’re the Golden Strands plaything, ando nce it gets bored with you… Well. You know the rest.” Sho said finitely. Exafinisi gasped for air as the left eye rolled around in the Golden Strands skull that held her mind intact. ‘Don’t listen to the little wench, just kill her already!’ the Golden Strands seemed to say in her own voice. ‘Agreed… She needs to die for the Chasms plans to pass.’ the Plant woman thought to herself with glee. “Yo, Plant woman, get over here and take a gander at these!” Sho seemed to say, more excited the Exafanisi to show off her new move. “Slegte asem submunitie!” Sho sang in honey sweet tones, poisoned with intent. The Fragment opened her mouth wide and exhaled hard, the atoms in the gaseous cloud acting like miniature bombs.

“Oh Hell no!”

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