defenatley not what you think

Custodi Della Realta, part 9.1

The black and gold Syrup struggled to form into a recognizable shape as the Bloody Strands and the Golden Strands watched with a mild curiosity. “You stupid bitch! You’ve unleashed the one thing I cannot defeat!” it screeched in fury as it retracted back into a tight ball the size of a watermelon.

“Resaec? I thought you died! I saw Morgan smash you to death with the giant robot’s foot!” the Bloody Strands asked, quite shocked to see her former master alive and well. One thing she noticed right off the bat was that Resaec seemed to have lost all his ambition for the most part. “I-I don’t know where I am… O-or who I am!” the Black and Gold Syrup shouted as his liquid form tried to stabilize, but for some reason he couldn’t.

Resaec, snapped to attention as green and dark purple numbers flew across his eyes at blazing rates, and then his body slammed into the floor. “I know who I am. But… what am I?” the Watermelon Cop asked as his movie played on the big screen, caught unawares that the Golden Strands was at his front door, delivering unto him a folder full of jelly.

“So… you don’t know what you are?” the Golden Strands asked, wildly amazed at this turn of events. The former God of Terror shook his head as the Watermelon Cop scratched himself while answering the door, recieving a deadly blast of folder jelly to the face. ‘Fuck… the Wife’s not going to be happy when she gets home tonight.’ he thouht to himself as he returned to watching his Puppet Porn.

“I know who I was but… what am I?” Resaec asked again, quickly gaining his composure. The Bloody strands quickly intervened. “Resaec, you… you’ve become a weapon… an extremely devastating weapon of limitless power, with so much potential that you could in fact, devour entire universes in a single day… just like us.” the Bloody Strands sighed.

“Yes… Caasi is right. We are weapons made to destroy, engulf, consume, and obliterate everything we come across. You however, our new confused Sibling… are different.” “Different? How am I different!?” Resaec asked as he slowly formed his old body again with little to some trouble.

“You are Syrup, we are Strands. Strands shoot outwards, can twist and turn, create drills and spikes! Sryup… only suffocates and drowns its victim in a painfully agonizing acidic bath.” Resaec smiled and started to remember the shame that Morgan had put him to when it came to fights. “Well… then I assume that we three represent each of the three Dimensions?” the Golden Strands laughed insidiously as he formed a octopuses body and slapped tentacle after tentacle on the floor, pushing towards the Black and Gold Syrup.

“There is no Dream Dimension. There is no Waking Dimension. There is no Nightmare Dimension. The Reality of the mind has died, along with its Guardian, Asteroth.” Resaec could hardly believe his ears, “What!? My Kingdom is dead!? My home land is no more!? TELL ME WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS DESTRUCTI-” the Golden Strands wrapped all eight tentacle as the Syrup’s neck, only for them to pass through harmlessly.

“I am.” That was all it took for Resaec to cover the Golden Strands in front of him with a thick layer of inwardly crystalizing sryup. His ice cold eyes watched with out mercy as his new found enemy screamed in agony while giving him one warning.

“I AM ALL CONSUMING! THIS IS BUT A SMALL PORTION OF MY BODY!” the Golden Strands raged as the crystal’s compacted his form till there was no life left in the small sphere. “Then we shall find the your Heart, your Brain, and your Soul… and crush them with the hate and pain that you have caused all who’ve suffered at your hand.” Resaec said calmly as he sank into a puddle and slithered out of the former Council of Tens chambers.

The Bloody Strands were left in the room wondering what was to become of the event she had just witnessed.

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The black and gold Syrup struggled to form into a recognizable shape as the Bloody Strands and the Golden Strands watched with a mild curiosity. “You stupid bitch! You’ve unleashed the one thing I cannot defeat!” it screeched in fury as it retracted back into a tight ball the size of a waterme …

custodi della realta, part 6.5

Morgan looked in disbelief at what had just transpired in front of him.

‘What the fuck!?’ the severed head thought to itself, as the mind started to come back online.

“Dearest sister! I’ve miss you ever so much!” Joseph said in honey sweet tones that made Aneeh shiver in her non-boots.

’I really don’t like him any more.’ the Arhem woman stated next to the Deom as Credion had only one option to use. She was about to press the ‘eject person’ button when Morgan’s voice entered her mind. ’No… not yet.. wait till you can see the whites of his eyes… then fire with Hell’s fury.’ this order made no sense to Credion what so ever and she simply pressed the button.

A large diamond studded Foxy Boxing glove slammed into the Arhem woman’s face from underneath Aneeh and sent her flying out of the dislodged eyeball of Morgan. “There you are dearest sister, I’ve missed you ever so much! Bāṣpīkaraṇīya tūphāna!” Joseph commanded as he held out his hand. A tiny hatch opened up and a little platform with a tiny stadium popped out, where a small little known boy band performed for thousands of screaming Nonobots, that is until Joseph slammed his fist into and unleashed the full fury of ten million angry fans upon Aneeh’s form.

”This is what you get for disappointing Father Aneeh Arhem! Pānī kē kāma kē sātha vikāsa kī samasyā’ōṁ!” her brother shouted as hundreds of bills for stadium damages were thrown at Aneeh, slamming her in the arms and legs with dollar amounts she didn’t know existed. “How do you like them apples!?” her brother laughed as shark fins burst through the space around him, signaling their arrival.

”I don’t like apples! They make me fart!” Aneeh screamed back at her brother as debt collectors with Yakuza Ducktails started circling her. “Where’s our money!?” they asked her furiously as she gave her dirty looks that somehow lumped clods of dirt on her face.

“My brother has the money, ask him.” the collectors twisted their snake like forms together and charged at Joseph who calmly raised his hand again. “Glēna baika, maiṁ tumakō bulānē!” he called out as storm clouds gathered in the middle of space, for no reason at all. All at once, the ghost of New York City appeared like a fog, until a man in a tattered trench coat and a burning brief case walked out from the slowly evaporating spirit of the city.

“Direct me Master, for you have summoned me, and I am insane beyond belief!” the spirit said as the brief case opened up and let loose the dogs of Fox News. “Kill her, Glenn Beck.” jospeh commanded his servant.

“She is going to release a personal book against you, and you will summon the demons at your disposal! now!” Glenn Beck’s eyes shot fire out in several waves, the flames lashing out at Aneeh Arhem, who simply raised her hand and spoke the ancient rite, which brought forth a creature just as powerful, if not more, than Glenn Beck himself. “Ērika Massa, apanē gadhē vahām̐ aura glēna becks ahaṅkāra kō māra ḍālō!” Aneeh smiled and gave a quick look back to the floating head of Morgan, whose body was slowly coming back together.

Nordafet was both shocked and stupified. “How the fuck are we supposed to fight Glenn Beck!? He’s fucking insane!” the deom screamed, slamming his fist on the inside of Morgan’s skull. Reason, still amazed at the hallucination Morgan just had quietly commented “Eric Massa.”

Credion nodded quietly. “Yes… Eric should be strong enough to out crazy Glenn Beck’s idealistic insanity. But the question is, will he give us the proof that he’s been wasting our time?” Reason poked his head out of the energy cloud that floated above the floor below Nordafet’s location. ”He must! He must out crazy Glenn Beck! Eric Massa and his tickle fighting skills must over power Glenn fucking Beck!” the Persona shouted.

Out side the battle was already heavily underway, with brother against sister, their eyes locking and never leaving the others gaze once. The two summoned creatures did battle by sitting at a blue desk facing each other. ”Someone’s writing a book about me! There are literally dark forces out to get me and my Communatzi party! Social injustice!” Glenn Beck shot at Eric Massa, unleashing a tidal wave of insanity that came in the form of gold plated rubber ducks, emblazoned with the image of their lord and masters, Bert and Ernie Hitler.

“Oh yeah?” Eric began to shoot back. “Guess what? I’ve had my fortieth birthday party in a room filled with guys, and we were tickle fighting! Hya! Beware my skills of the Tickle Ninjas!” Eric fired back, positioning his fingers on the sides of Glenn’s neck and rubbing furiously, unleashing an army of Tickle Ninjas, armed with the latest in Tickle Torture Technology. The Door and Chasm waged a stalemated war against each other, both their armies had been killed and reborn one hundred thousand times, and they showed no signs of stopping. The Granite Statues fell on top of the broken bodies of their previous selves, ruptured open, and the contents roared out ready for battle, the Knight in bloody armor gasped for a single breath before a giant foot with faces on the bottom of each toe, stabbed him in the face with a slab of umbrella tooth picks.

“Now stay down, bitch!” the foot’s little toe screamed with a fury that melted the polar ice cap next to him. “What the fuck! Dude! Global warming?” the ice cap shrieked as the most lethal weapon of the Chasm punched through the quickly melting ice caps.

“We’re facing the ugly truth people!” the Knight, in its current lifes last moments, swore to himself as Al Gore stood above him like a demon with a freshly pressed suit. Exafanisi Tis Kardias screamed as Sho beat her down with little to no mercy what so ever. The fragment unleashed a fiery pile driver that ripped the Plant Woman’s right arm off, picked it up and slapped Exafanisi around so hard, that pieces of her simply exploded off her body.

“No! My other boob! Why must my boobs explode with the rage of Mount Olympus on crack!?” she screamed as her hands burst into a storm cloud of vines that wrapped around Sho’s neck, arms, legs, and waist. “You!” she raged with a full hatred in her eyes, that could only be explained as the Devil’s worst nightmare. “Shall DIE! Your soul… IS MINE! Parali̱ri̱tikés parádeisos:̱ Rip thánatos!” Exafanisi screamed as the vines pulled the Fragment in all directions, but Sho simply yawned.

“Is this really all of the ex-lover of the Ruby Wolf can do? Pathetic, let me show you how it’s really done! Parali̱ri̱tikés parádeisos:̱ rip thánatos!” The Fragment’s arms duplicated Exafanisis movements exactly, but her vines were flexible chainsaws that seemingly wrapped Exafanisi in a thick ball of sharp blades.

“Kommatáki Tyfó̱nas!” the Fragment roared as the Plant Woman felt the blades slowly grid her to a pulp. The blades, tearing little chunks off at first, then grew longer till they were like the ravenous mouths of Rihana fans everywhere, looking to tear Chris Brown apart. “You see, this is how it’s done… I sense there is still some Humanity in you… but the Golden Strands have all but devoured you!” she said in a cold voice. “You shall die a mercifully quick death, Plásma alésmatos:̱ Ekató chiliádes si̱meío tou fo̱tós!” Sho bellowed as she whipped her arms around wildly, the chainsaws turning a violently glowing white and setting off a chain of explosions that tore the very essence of Exafanisi’s soul apart.

‘Rest in pieces, and burn! Plásma alésmatos:̱ Ekató chiliádes si̱meío tou fo̱tós!’ Sho repeated the move, again and again, till the ashes of the last burning pieces of the Golden Strands turned to ash, till even the remains of Exafanisi exploded with the force of five hundred thousand Hiroshima’s rebounded against each other for a thousand eons in just several microseconds. “Fare well!” Sho said as she returned to her watchful post as a single Red Strand rose from the pile of ash behind her.

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Morgan looked in disbelief at what had just transpired in front of him. ‘What the fuck!?’ the severed head thought to itself, as the mind started to come back online. “Dearest sister! I’ve miss you ever so much!” Joseph said in honey sweet tones that made Aneeh shiver in her non-boots. ‘I re …

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The Golden Strands flooded the entirety of Technarl body, gently punching apart of the body of the Guardian, whose mind was in tremendous amounts of pain, his eyes bursting out of his skull as the Golden Strands invaded his mind and tore his soul into nothingness. ‘you are now mine Technarl, Guardian of the Reality of technology!’ the Chasms voice ripped through his mind within microseconds. The Guardian in the regenerative tube sleeping soundly as the chaos around him echoed through out the rest of the chambers walls. “YOU WILL JOIN ME!” Technarls voice roared as the twisted wires became a molten gold. His body changing for the worse as the mechanical being swept off the various screens and began laughing hysterically. “I… I… NO! NO! NO! NO! HE HEH HA HA HA HA!” the Golden Strands had done exactly what the Chasm wanted them to do from the very start. Muden burst through the silvery door only to find himself ripped in half by the pure force of the explosion. The chairs thrown askew, peices of the desks that had served them well, impaled themselves through the walls

The Guardian of time, sealed in a bubble in the past, watched as his future self in one time line was shredded gear from shiny gear, the glass that protected his numbers and hands shattered, the body falling to the floor while before becoming infested with the Golden Strands, that were somehow becoming more of a bloody red with each kill it racked up. “This is not good. Not good at all.” Clock said as the bubble he was in became engulfed in the Golden Strands bloody rampage. ‘I should be safe for the time being. but just to be safe… Shíjiān tíngzhǐ!’ clock thought as his hands twirled in front of him. The Golden Strands froze in place as the invisible bubble seemed to float through the air. “Shíjiān nìzhuǎn: Èr bǎi sì fēnzhōng!” Clock said again, this time, jutting his hands out of the bubble and swinging his fists in a counter clockwise motion. Slowly but surely, the Golden Strands shrunk away as Technarls body expelled the infestation from his body, the reports that Muden, the Box, Fretuni, Gothemos, Captain Jake, and a few of the others simply reset, marking them as still living. Clock had done his best, but how to get the message across that the Guardian of technology was in danger across, with out affecting, the time space barrier remained a problem. Clock had an idea. “This is a gamble. I’m not even sure if it will work or not. But, this war has become even more deadly then the one I hid myself from. I have no doubt in my mind that the bloody strands will find me. Kōngjiān gǎizào: Lìtǐ liè gǔ: Sānjié de shìjiè!” his hands twirled in the air outside the bubble once more. The battlefield that the Colossus of Darkness, the Door of Existence, and the Chasm of Non-existence seemingly changed from the black and white plane of reality; to a large orange and purple world, similar to earth in many ways, except for the fact the color scheme was incredibly messed up. one third of the planet was blue and green, one third was red and blue, and the last third was green and red. ‘This will have to suffice for no-’ Clock was interrupted as cracks ruptured through his time bubble and a single Bloody Strand slithered silently through, Clocks eyes focusing on the object with terror in his eyes.

A single thought entered his mind like a plague, full of resentment, hatred, and loathing for all things that lived and breathed, dying and decayed, existing and not existing. ‘You have avoided my brother, the Golden Strands… but I will make sure that your meddling comes at an end here!’ the Bloody Strands whispered in ghoulish tones. ‘Now die!’ the bloody strands ripped into Clocks heart, jamming the intricate gears inside the beating muscle, causing jets of blue flames to erupt out the the Guardians head. “Door… of Existence… save u-” ‘Enough out of you!’ the Bloody Strands spoke with lethality. Morgan and Antimo were locked in deadly combat, they ignored the sudden change in location as each traded blows with the other, the two knocking each other through bluidlings, trees, telephone poles. “I thought I told you to stay the fuck down you son of a bitch!” Antimo shouted as he punched Morgan in the head knocking him down the gravel covered roads. “not like i really give a damn you fucking jackass!” Morgan retaliated back as he slammed a sledge hammer into Antimos neck, snapping the Creatures neck and knocking in the path of an oncoming truck. “SON OF A BI-” he mumbled as the twelve ton truck slammed into him, the payload of cruise missiles slamming into Antimos body, one after another, sending him flying amidst a growing fireball that flung him into the farthest reaches of the planets gravitational orbit.

“Oh my fucking God, I’m glad that’s over… Now where the fuck am I?” the human questioned.

WORLD WIDE BABY! WORLD FUCKING WIDE!

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