The black and yellow crystal the size of a bowling ball slammed into Antimo’s face, shattering upon impact, and knocking a few teeth loose as well.

“What the flying Hell was that!?” Antimo asked while in some serious pain. Nordafet was laughing his ass off when Tsan’s fragment crystal, now the size of a Hypergiant, drew him into the outer most reaches of the galaxy.

“Umagawdwhathafugisthat!?” Nordafet stammered in complete and utter terror. His terror was made more so when he was slammed into the surface of the crystalline Hypergiant. on the inside, Nordafet was drawn into the middle of the structure and heard the distant sound of trillions of hundred barrel gatling guns shooting off tiny nukes. “Well, that’s so cute!” Nordafet said with the wonder and joy of a child on Christmas morning. But soon, that joy was turned into a traumatizing deathblow to his being, when he realized that an infinite number of nukes were heading towards his exact location.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! fuck! fuck fuck fuck fuck! I’ve got to get the-” his sentence was cut short when the first one slammed into him, then ten more, twenty more after that, and seven thousand after that, unleashing trillions of metric quadratic tons of pressure onto his being.  The Fragment of Reality laughed in a constant barrage of joy and fear. After all, he didn’t want to kill off his potential new home, and at the same time, he wanted to see what Nordafet was truly made of. ‘Come on! Fight back Deom!’ Tsan thought to the person trapped inside the insane levels of pressure.  Nordafet, getting tired from trying to hold his form together, simply decided to split in half and gather the energy into himself.

“Damn it! Can’t believe it’s come to this! I hope the Deom Lords can forgive me for this, but I’m in desperate need of help!”  the Deom’s top half formed a giant tennis racket and slammed the next thousand nukes back to the Tupac clones. The Tupac clones then released several postmortem albums, in which they are all subsequently blown up by their own nukes. Not surprisingly, it was deathly contraversial, full of swear words that even by today’s standards were more evil than two hump back whale on the Larry King Live show. The crystalline structure absorbed the energy released by the Tupac clones do rags and focused it into a being of such mind boggling size, that even Nordafet had tried to solve this with mathematics. He failed miserably when the being returned his test with a score of one.

“How the fuck did this happen!? I was sure I got a full nights rest and early mornings cram session in!” he exclaimed angrily as a familiar face popped right next to him. Antimo sighed, looked over at Nordafet, face still full of broken crystal shards, smiled a big toothy grin, and laughed. “HA!” Antimo was then kicked in the crotch by the red dwarf sized being.

 ”Oh… that stung.” Nordafet smiled. He thought long and hard about his current predicament as the nukes now attacked Antimo because he didnt pay them his rent on time. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Nordafet exclaimed as he raised a hand in protest. “I’ve got three questions! One! Who the fuck are you!? Two, why have you just outright attacked me!? Three? Do you know of a funny little guy with a preacher’s collar, a bible in one hand, and a shitload of Greek alphabet named Fragments?” 

The red dwarf sized being shrunk down to the height of a three year old boy. Nordafet couldn’t help but try the airplane game on it. “And up we go! And up we go! Who’s my little monster!?” he asked with a jubilant smile on his face. He was answered with a right fist through the jaw. the jaw then stabbed itself into Antimo’s right eye ball.

“HEY! I’M WATCHING SOMETHING HERE!” he roared as he simply plucked the bone out and tossed it back to his friend. The three year old sized being answered Nordafet’s questions as it pooped onto his feet.

‘Oh…. no he didn’t… UGH! IT SMELLS LIKE HOW I FEEL ON MONDAYS!’ he thought to no one in particular disgust. The being spoke as it put on a sailor suit. “Number one, I am the Fragment known as Tsan, within me resides half the awesome power of the Fragments of Reality.” Antimo’s ears pricked up when he heard this, and while taking out the bowling ball shards from his face, “So where’s the… other… half?” he was answered when the shards in his hand combined and formed a tiny pink version of Megatron.

“Yo. Name’s Heta. You my bitch, Bitch.” she said without much enthusiasm. “Wow… was totally expecting you to be… bigger.” he chuckled. “You’re kinda cute!”

“Gimme my nanners, Bitch!” Antimo got her her nanners while muttering under his breath. “Ok… we got that much. So answer the other two questions already.” Nordafet commanded Tsan, who was now in a tiny cowboy outfit complete with plastic six shooters.

“Alex? Yes… we knew of him. Unfortunatley, he perished when he trespassed upon the Forest of Not Very Nice Things.” Nordafet was curious. “So… what was the place like?”

 ”Not very nice.” Tsan answered him, now in a bumblebee costume and face paint. “And the things in said Forest?” nordafet queeried,

“Also… not very nice.” “So let me get this straight, there is a Forest, where the scenery is not very nice.”

 ”Correct.” “And the things inside the Forest that’s not very nice, aren’t very nice either. Correct?”

“Yes.” Nordafet paused, and thought up something that just had to be nice. “Are there sugar cookies?”

Tsan thought for a moment. “Yes.” “Are they good?”

“Good? Yeah. But, they aren’t very nice.” Antimo couldn’t stop cracking up until Heta ordered him to get more nanners. Nordafet shrugged his shoulders and decided to test Tsan again. “So… there is a Forest, which isn’t very nice, and inside that not very nice Forest, there are not very nice things. But there are sugar cookies which are good, but they still aren’t very nice.”

“Pretty much in the namesake.” “I see…” Nordafet grumbled.

Antimo threw the nanners away. Heta wasn’t very pleased with him. “So what about the third question?”  Tsan sighed. “We decided to divide up our forces to better help Morgan and everyone else.”

 ”Predictable…” “WHERE… THE FUCK… ARE… MY FUCKING… NANNERS… BITCH!?”

Posted via email from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}

The black and yellow crystal the size of a bowling ball slammed into Antimo’s face, shattering upon impact, and knocking a few teeth loose as well. “What the flying Hell was that!?” Antimo asked while in some serious pain. Nordafet was laughing his ass off when Tsan’s fragment crystal, now the …

Well folks, I’m happy to announce that yours truly has been on a date. With a woman, and we watched Prince Of Persia, ate a combo platter, didn’t bother to bring any left overs, so it’s all good. We talked, laughed, joked around about how this one guy we saw was butt rubbing against the wall of the Petsmart we were across from. Originally we thought he was humping the wall. Wrong… but we had fun with it anyways. After a nice little exchange, we sat in the car and I gave Savannah a back rub! She liked it, and so did I.

The fun thing about it was simply that we just had fun, the two of us. Not worrying about parents, or other fun things. But just relaxing. Took us a month to get our date… a single date together with what was going on in both our lives. But I’m glad we were able to finally go out. it was fun. I was highly tempted to try and jump from movie ot movie. But thought better of it. There’s just a few things I didn’t get, but right now I’m a bit more wiped out then I normally am.

Update on the progress of getting my netbook, I’m about to get $200 total, and I HAD 30 bucks, but I used that thirty for the dinner and a movie, so it was well worth it. Still have to listen to an idiot blab on… but that’s not the point of tonight. Also, I’m gonna try and forward some recordings here from my yahoo… Tis a fun thing all together.

Yesh. I heart Savannah, and she hearts me and… Forgot what I was saying. Hate it when that happens.

Posted via web from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}} | Comment »

Well folks, I’m happy to announce that yours truly has been on a date. With a woman, and we watched Prince Of Persia, ate a combo platter, didn’t bother to bring any left overs, so it’s all good. We talked, laughed, joked around about how this one guy we saw was butt rubbing against the wall of the …

Antimo was in a death struggle with Mailcat as it had become known in this strange new Dimesnion.

“What’s wrong? CAT got your tounge!?” it hissed as it smacked the clear liquid like Pug in the face with two sledge hammers, sending the small animal flying into the air, coincidentally knocking a nineteen fifties family out of the air as they were sitting down to enjoy a thanksgiving feast, made out of the man’s Mother-in-law and cheesey poofs.

“YOU’LL PAY FOR THAT! DOG FARTING POWER!” Antimo roared as he struggled to regain the shape of his true form. But it was no use, he was stuck in this dog form until a greater threat arrived. Mailcat gained twenty five experience points for defeating Antimo the Pug and evolved into Fedora Cat,  the ultimate form of Mailcat with the exception that it wore a fedora instead of a Mailman uniform.”With this! I can rule this Dimension in no  tim-“

“Acid web strike!” a friendly voice called out as a ball of smoking green webbing five times the size of Fedora Cat, exploded as soon as the ball had engulfed him.”Green Spiderman is on the job!”
“Red Spiderman is burning up with the blaing passion of youth!”
“Blue Spiderman is fucking depressed and is going to seek therapy for his various insecurities about running around in tights with two other guys!” the three voices rang out in unison.

“Oh crap, not these guys again.” the Pug ruffed annoyed that the three worst enemies he’d ever face were landing right in front of him.They were the Spiderman Brothers, each bitten with an elementally radiated spider in a high school musical, they have spent their lives annoying the crap out of the general populace for the last two minutes. And they also wore Red, Green and Blue Spiderman costumes, because they figured why not go with flare into battle.

 ”My passion is burning!” Red Spiderman said as his fists caught on fire with no effect to him what so ever.”I’ll melt your heart, and the rest of you while I’m at it at the same time!” Green Spiderman retorted, his webbing forming a beating heart.

“I’m going to go hang myself.” Blue Spiderman said with a bit of anger in his voice. “No one understands me!”Antimo was pissed off by this point and ripped their heads off with his hidden four hundred yotta power lever kamehamehack burning fury. “I hate Emo Spiderman!” the Pug retaliated. But just as the blast was about to connect, a black suited Spiderman flicked the blast away with his finger.

“I’m Emo Spiderman, I sing songs while crying and occasionally cut myself with my own webbing, to make sure that I’m part of a culturally dead society of costume wearing Midgets. And you’re going to pay for almost not tearing their heads off.” Emo Spiderman said as he bobbed his head to the music of what he thought was heavy metal, but it turned out to be a Kids Bop CD of Justin Timberlake’s songs. Which pretty much had the same effect.”Wow… so this is my Hell huh? INFINITE FACEBOOK SUPERPOKE WITH A GLASS OF RED WINE!” Antimo called out, but then instantly regretted it, after he mysteriously became aware that he had to poop.

“That is the power of Emo Spiderman! I make people want to poop!” Emo Spiderman shouted slightly depressed and tossing his hair out of his face. Red, Green and Blue Spiderman saw this as a threat to their masculine side and decided to combine their super robots to form White Spiderman.”Have no need to fear, an Underdog copyright infringement is here!” White Spiderman said as Emo Spiderman locked on to his target and blinked.

While Antimo the Pug was busy trying to poop out a battleship attack, White and Emo Spiderman were locked in a death struggle of epic Scrabble like proportions. ”D,O,G triple letter score!” White Spiderman said as he plastered the face of Emo Spiderman with what was hopefully webbing and not some other substance. Emo Spiderman opened his ribcage as energy gathered into his black, withered, evil, and beating heart, and unleashed a CMT awards show so devastating, that not even Antimo had the manners to pinch off his attack as Garth Brooks presented best porno in a country music video about old people and cart lifting.

The result was devastating, as Garth Brooks was on stage covered in shit, Emo Spiderman had a thick layer of definitely not white webbing all over his body, and White Spiderman reverted back into Red, Green and Blue Spidermen, only to find out that after a substantial time, Blue Spiderman had hung himself, slit his wrists, and wrote a note declaring he was gay and could not live in such a destructive environment, that and hated hated Emo people while secretly being Emo Spiderman to begin with.”Wow…. um… who are you then?” Red Spiderman said as the Pug yipped, growled, barked, and struggled to push a two ton anchor out of his sphincter. Needless to say, it was a complete and utter failure, as he now struggled to get around while a two hundred megaton Warship was connected to his ass.

He felt fucking macho about this. Meanwhile, Emo Spiderman turned out to be the real Blue Spiderman, and proved to his brother thus by saying”The tidal wave of my strength shall wash the Evil’s out of any harbor I come into port with!” this confused Red Spiderman and his promptly set his blue brother on fire.

“Burning web strike: Crotch shot of death!” Red Spiderman cried out as Napalm like webbing covered his brother. Who also happened to be a Tibetan Monk being chased by the Chinese Google Police.’Fuck this…” Antimo the pug thought to himself as the warship, still being connected to his ass via two ton anchor, fired off an Apoopalyptic hail of fire that burned the very countryside manner for rich old white people with stuffy families. This happened to be the very continent Antimo had landed on, and he soon heard from the surviving families Lawyers for endangering the wildlife with live ammunition, when the legal limit was only a nuclear holocaust of Pidgeon crap.

Posted via web from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}

Antimo was in a death struggle with Mailcat as it had become known in this strange new Dimesnion.”What’s wrong? CAT got your tounge!?” it hissed as it smacked the clear liquid like Pug in the face with two sledge hammers, sending the small animal flying into the air, coincidentally knocking a ninete …

Morgan woke up with a start, he wet nose gleaming in the morning sun.

 ”Okay, that was interesting. Was that all a dream or- oh… still a wolf. Damn.” Morgan realized his problem. His former Brindle Boxer Samson, who had passed away in the Waking Dimension four days prior to he coincidental meet up in Sarah’s dream almost five hundred years ago, Dream Dimension time, had reunited with him. He was still getting used to the bright green grass, the blazing blue sky with puffy white clouds, the crystal clear ocean that surrounded the island they were on, and the simple fact that dogs knew how to speak English and wore clothes. He scratched himself behind his long, fine ruby fur covered ears and let his tongue hang out of his mouth as he looked around the room he was in.

It was a simple one bedroom building, white ceiling, blue walls, and Mahogany wood floors with a Marble fire pit in the middle of the room. On the walls there were pictures of dogs he never knew existed, great big ones that shot lightning out their asses every time they took a shit, and tiny dogs no bigger then his strange little fleshy bump on the back of his leg near his foot. His green eyes, even though still Human in nature, had lost some of the colors that beamed from every corner of the room. The colors did seem a little duller, but then again, he was now a part of the Canine Genus. ”Ok… this is still strange for me -Hey is that a bowl of steak flavored dog food! COME TO PAPA!” he barked happily as he bounded towards the silver dog food bowl and began munching happily on the tiny kibbles in the shape of mailmen, UPS delivery people, and Joan Rivers left leg, that looked suspiciously like beef jerky.

He heard a scratch on the door, and smelled things he’d never smelled as a Human, there was the scent of the morning light, the smell of the ocean air that kind or reminded him of a giant hair dryer, and his butt. He had never smelled his own butt before. And now that he was able to, he never wished to do it again. The scratching noise sounded off again, and Morgan lifted his Wolfy head out of the food bowl lazily and tried figuring out how to fix this situation he was in.On the one hand, someone was at the door, and on the other, he was eating. The Wolf’s ears flattened with great annoyance, and then perked up excitedly. Morgan had a plan!

 ”One minute!” he barked as he pushed the food bowl over to the door with his nose, while at the same time stepping on the peddle that opened the door. He looked up while still bury his mouth into the bowl of seemingly endless food. “Wow. Simply wow. You must not have eaten anything for quite sometime, huh Master?” Samson gruffly asked while motioning with his thick brown fuzzy head.

 ”Haven’t had anything to eat in about three hundred years, Dream Dimension time. That reminds me, what Dimension is this?” Morgan asked, finally getting the last of the food from the bowl into his mouth and munching happily.”Dimension? What’s a Dimension?” Samson asked while walking on the pale dirt path that led from Morgan’s temporary house to the main village.

“Tell me you’re kidding right? You… never mind… I just realized something here.” Samson looked back bored, his brown eyes softly tracing his former master’s body for any signs of damage, when he smelled something that made his fur stand on end. “Master! You have things on you! What are they!?” he growled as he tackled Morgan to the floor.

 ”Seriously? We, literally, just got here, and already I’m in a fight!? The fuck is your problem!?” Samson backed off while whimpering. “I’m sorry Master, but I thought you brought something with you, other than your two friends, and I thought it was a danger. I am the Alpha dog here after all.”

Morgan understood all about pack behavior and canine mentality. Samson was only trying to protect his loved ones from danger. “It’s okay, Nordafet, Credion, Reason, you guys can come on out now, I’m perfectly fine.” Samson sat on his hind legs and puffed a few times, making his cheeks flap out occasionally.

“Where the fuck are we this time!? Okay, first, it was a hilly grassy field, then an Old West town, then a giant robot battle, then a amusement park, then a grave yard filled with bats, then a forest, then another battlefield, then a three housed place - GOD! CAN WE JUST STAY IN ONE PLACE LONG ENOUGH FOR ME TO GET TO BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE!?” Nordafet hissed as he slipped out of the shadow that Morgans body cast. ”CAT ALERT!” Samson barked as he charged towards the Deom with a lightning quick ferocity and head butted the poor creature in the face with little effect as the Brindle Boxer went right through him.

“Yeah, that tends to happen.” the Deom quipped as his long flexible tail wrapped around his body. “More to the point, why am I a cat?” Nordafet asked as he extended his claws and retracted them. “Never mind! I like this! Well I’ll go tell the others that all three of us are now felines. This is going to be interesting none the less.” Morgan felt his friend slide back into his shadow that led to his mind. “We have bigger things to worry about then Cats at the moment.” Sam ruffed quietly.

 ”Don’t we always?” Morgan replied, howling at a passing bird that gave him the finger and pile drove him into the ground. “Like them.” smason laughed eagerly as he chased the bird into the distance.

“Hey! Wait up!” morgan howled happily.Aneeh Arhem, the Chinese Crestid, had become enveloped in a cloud of ugliness so raging, so torrential, so devastating, that an army of bitchy supermodels on their periods were sent in, to counteract her ugliness.

“Ugh! Like, get a make over! And a boob job!” one woman said as her darkly tanned sking made her platinum blonde hair seem bright what in comparison. ”Or like, six of them!” two of the women said with snide looks of disapproval and raging fits of laughter. Aneeh simply licked them from crotch to face, and her saliva turned them into screeching old hags with four foot long drooping breasts and bald patches on their hairy Baboon like asses.

“Well… I guess this condition of mine works out for something.” she whispered to herself sadly.A small demonic looking Chihuahua burst form a fiery pit of damnation, and after eating a taco, it gave her a look of terrifying disgust, had a heart attack, and then burst into a puff of confetti. But in that confetti, Aneeh felt a strong foreboding feeling, like the return of someone she desperately did not want to see again.

‘Dearest Grandfather wants to see you again my Lovable Daughter!’ a cold thought flowed into her dog like mind with a tingling Spidersense. “My Spider Sense is tingling!” she said to herself as she lowered her front and raised her rear and shot a giant metal harpoon out of her ass attached to several chains and flew off into the sun.

Posted via web from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}

Morgan woke up with a start, he wet nose gleaming in the morning sun. ”Okay, that was interesting. Was that all a dream or- oh… still a wolf. Damn.” Morgan realized his problem. His former Brindle Boxer Samson, who had passed away in the Waking Dimension four days prior to he coincidental meet …

Posted via web from {{http://twistedhauptansragepage.posterous.com}}

Outside of the mobile mansion, it was a serene and quiet winter wonderland, covered in hundreds of reindeer and elf corpses which lined the devestating battle between Santas good and evil. “Ho, ho, ho!” the Evil Santa replied as the Good Santa brought out his big red sack, scratched it, and then p …

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 <!— /* Font Definitions */ @font-face {font-family:”Cambria Math”; panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:1; mso-generic-font-family:roman; mso-font-format:other; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:0 0 0 0 0 0;} @font-face {font-family:Calibri; panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4; mso-font-charset:0; mso-generic-font-family:swiss; mso-font-pitch:variable; mso-font-signature:-1610611985 1073750139 0 0 159 0;} /* Style Definitions */ p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-unhide:no; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:”“; margin-top:0in; margin-right:0in; margin-bottom:10.0pt; margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:”Calibri”,”sans-serif”; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoChpDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; mso-default-props:yes; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:Calibri; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family:”Times New Roman”; mso-bidi-theme-font:minor-bidi;} .MsoPapDefault {mso-style-type:export-only; margin-bottom:10.0pt; line-height:115%;} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} —>

Kim Lecest, one of the three keepers of time and space, sat in contemplation over what seemed to her, a giant board game. Her blue eyes looked over the card board cut outs of each of the characters, analyzed the situation and made her move. She couldnt touch anything of course, she cold only influence events to her wishes. This was the unfortunate drawback of being a Keeper of Time. Though she knew perfectly well the details of how she became one of the three to begin with. “We only needed someone to keep Charmines chair warm till she returned from oblivion.” the grey orb with the purple clown wig stated calmly. “Now will you fucking pass go already? We have events to keep in tact… And I dont want everything to end because you are taking your candy assed time, moving that fucking boot two spaces!” the orb said angrily as the hundreds of holographic screens showed various views of the war between the Chasm and the Door.

 The fact that Kim had joined the three was reason enough for the Door to begin moving against the Chasm. “Tell me something Charly. Why cant we interfere with anything, but only influence them?” charly, the grey orb with the purple clown wig seemed deep in thought over something most particular. “Kim Lecest, your needed down there right now. I will certainly tell you the reason, why indeed, when you have returned. Oh and while your out, can you pick up some celery? Its poker night tonight and Sermone makes this really good celery dip.” Kim nodded calmly. “Yeah, I’ll pick up your celery for you.” she said, unconvinced that the orb knew what he was actually talking about.

 The war between the Door, the Chasm, and the Colossus of Darkness had reached its boiling point. Quite literally. There was a small layer of water about two inches high, that just started bubbling. And the colossus had the nerve to start chopping some carrots, celery, lettuce, tomatoes, and fuzzy bunny slippers. Simply for the plain fact that the colossus loves fuzzy bunny slippers in his eradication soup. “Are we still in the Dream Dimension? Or has it really been destroyed?” Morgan said as he took notice of the random events that seemed to be popping up every now and then. “Well I wouldnt be surprised at any of this.” Nordafet replied with a bit of non chalance. “After all, both the Door and the Chasm has beings in their army from all three dimensions. And the Golden Strands are rife with their energies.” the deom was simply standing there, proud as can be, as japanese maids brushed him off with their brooms like in curling. “I shit you not, this is every mans dream.” he smiled as Morgan simply punched a nonobot in the face.

 Exafanisi had been beaten down, her arms ripped out of their sockets as Sho took three sledge hammers and pounded her into the ground. But the Golden Strands that held up Exafanisis body would have none of it. “OH HO! So you simply reform after that eggshell body of yours shatters?” the fragment taunted as Exafanisis left arm became a laser battery with ten turrets. “Temachismó aktínes tou fo̱tós!” she said as a ball of black energy swirled into being. “Well, this shouldnt be too painful, but since were laying at that game, I think I should join in the fun as well! élki̱thro kataigída sfyrí!” Sho said as she sprouted ten extra long arms, the wrists nothing more then well oiled ball bearings inside sockets. The hands themselves ending with ten hammers, each weighing around two tons. “You know, this could either end really badly, or really great! Wnat to exchange Facebooks afterwards?” Sho said as the plant woman released her black energies and they seemingly smashed into Sho’s body with little remorse. “I only use… Google Wave.” the ball of energy increased its mass tenfold as Exafanisi spoke the words.

 Captain Jake Boiling Waters observed a strange vessel aproaching his portside, it seemed as though the Golden Strands slammed a wave into the hull of the Deadman. “ALRIGHT YOU RASCALLY SEA DOGS, PREPARE TO RELEASE OUR NEW KRAKEN! THE OLD ONE GAVE US TWO WEEKS NOTICE, BUT STILL! THIS ONES GOT SPUNK TO IT! Grote zee kraken versie twee!” Captain Jake bellowed out as a mostrous entity with six hundred spindly, razor edged, glow in the dark testicles flailing about floating just meters off the surface of the dakr grey waters. “Uh… Captain… Some of the guys were talking about the krakens replacement, and we were wondering who it was. You know, what are his standards?” his First Mate asked curiously. Captain Jake simply pointed at the six hundred razor sharp, glow in the dark testicles that seemed to be destroying the Golden Strands approach to the Deadman. “It has lots of dangerous balls First Mate. And right now, it’s throwing those dangerous balls at the Golden Strands. And that is a job NO man should have to suffer through.” the Captain said proudly as he wept a tear. The First Mate seemed confused at the Krakens actions. “But who would be daft enough to do that?” “Bill O’keefly from accounting. He just applied for the job, because let’s face it, only Bill is ugly enough, mutated enough, and egotistical enough to throw his man hood into anything that resembles the blender of Hell. And that’s why he got the job. Look just return to your post already.” Captain Jake Boiling Waters order his First Mate.

 In Fretuni’s dimensions of the mind, which was simply put, a maze of huge mirrors, smoke, and green lasers shooting every which direction, he watched the Golden Strands slip through his dimension and simply devour the poor guardian right where he stood. And then he exploded right where he stood as more and more clones of the illusion Guardian simply appeared. The Golden Strands, in a swarm like bruised ego fashion, attacked everything in sight like it had instantly won the Oscars. The Fretuni clones detonated with the force of twelve Hiroshima’s each. The shock waves, decimating the millions of lightyears of Golden Strands that invaded his deimension. “I’m sorry, but as Gandalf once said, YOU SHALL NOT PASS match class.” one clone said as a spear of the Golden Strands shot through him, the clone next to him, an avid and fiercely defensive nerd, and uber fanboy of the lord of the rings, started to say something, until he too was put in his place by the ultimate uber nerd. The Chasm of Non-existence. “YOU SHALL NOT LIVE TO SEE ME PASS!” it screamed through the golden mass.

In the Council of Tens chambers, Technarl saw with his own two eyes as both Captain Jake and Fretunis seats simply vanished, along with Gothemos, and Clocks, leaving only Technarl, Muden, and the last Guardian who had been recently put into a regenerative chamber to recover from his wounds. “Are you still having trouble?” Kim said as her hands danced along Technarls dented sides. “Yeah, we are, we just lost four of our number, along with Asteroth and Segroth, the Box, that only leaves us with three guardians left! DAMN IT! HOW COULD THNGS HAVE GOTTEN THIS BAD!?” Technarl shouted as he punched a hole in the wall. “Oh no… No… This isnt happening! Kim get out of-” Technarl was interrupted as the Golden Strands slammed into him through the hole in the wall he made with his fist. The guardian of technology was engulfed in the Golden Strands as they invaded every crevice in his body, spikes ramming through at random places. As joints were shattered, gears were stripped and wires ripped from their places, Kim only caught a glance of the Guardians demise, but she knew that her job had been done as a Keeper of Time. “Now I just need to pick up that celery. Fucking poker night.” the woman in the red dress said as she simply faded from the guardians building.

 The Creature had been punching Morgan in the face for some time now, not even realizing that the form of Morgan slowly wobbled with each hit that landed on him. “You just about done here? Because the Morgan you want is way over there, waving to you. See?” the Creature ripped the fake Morgans head from his shoulder and finally noticed that he was right. Morgan was just standing there, waving as though he was bored as he was talking to Nordafet. “Well, this hsould be fun. Time for me to do my thing… Again.” the Human said as he changed into his lost wolf form and charged straight at the Creature. “Hinekure ta kangae no furui otoko no onara no arashi! Hamu wo, ha ni makikoma reru no bitto to rāmen no hakai kappu!” Morgan screamed as giant fists of toxic and noxious gas slammed into the Creatures face first. The Creature, with his eyes spurting oil like a badly done porno, clenched his face. “WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!? IT’S LIKE SOMEONE SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE WITH A DIRTY DIAPER!” he screamed as the black liquid with silver cracks that made up his body turned brown. “Oh no you just FUCKING did not!” Morgan couldnt help but laugh. “THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!” the Human cackled as the Creature simply held out his hand. “Morti artiglio, trio suprema del tornado distruttivi!” the Creature spoke in soft tones as Morgans own attack was used against him. “You fucking pri-” it was too late for Morgan as three tornadoes slammed him to him full force as the Creature continued his assualt.

 “foresta di fulmini, pioggia di ghiaccio, tuono di magma, ass jack con un bovino prod!” the Creature raged as Morgan as slammed with fourteen petawatts of lightning, a blackhole of magma, and and several thousand instances of slick slabs of ice slamming into his neck, legs, and groin. “You see Morgan, I can live with you interfering in my affairs!” the Creature shouted hysterically. “In fact, I was much better off just being the Beast!” the Creature said as his mechanical bones started growing with within the black and silver liquid. But, no more… I was weak as the Beast, and still weak as the Creature. I will become something even more fantastic!” the mechanical being grew from within the liquid violently as the Creatures laughs became more like Morgans every moment. “WHAT IS IT NOW FRIEND! DO YOU NOT ENJOY THE ASPECT OF MY TRANSFORMING, TRANSMOGRIFYING, EVOLVING BEYOND EVEN YOUR CONCEPT OF CHANGE!?” the Creature spoke as hands ripped through his mouth that were similar to Morgans, but covered with cracks that pulsated with red light, the hands formed amrs that connected to shoulders, that sprouted a torso, that punched out a waist which connected to legs that fastened themselves to fett which anchored themselves to toes. “My evolution is complete Morgan. I am no longer the Creature, nor am I the colossus of darknessColossus of Darkness. Nor am I just some part of some idiots armor.” the thing in front of Morgan spoke.

 “I… Am now the leader of the nonobots, the being born of rage, fueled by hatred, unleashed upon thel ight of the world!” it said as Morgan grabbed a bag of popcorn, some 3D glasses, and sat in a movie theatre style seat to watch its lame performance. “I AM ANTIMO!” it shouted as thunder and lightning erupted from the gorund around Antimo. “Thats it? Antimo? You couldnt think of anything more original than that piece of crap name?” the Human questioned eagerly. “Good god! At least try to come up with something with some weight to it. Antimo… Fucking hell… I cant believe I wasted twelve bucks on this. YOU OWE ME TWELVE BUCK!” Morgan shouted as he pointed at Antimo.

 

Posted via web from Sogno Della Dinistia