“I think I just shit out my brain.” Morgan said as the Puperpeep shot out another beam of sexual frustration, the cylinder of pink light rocketing past his left ear and slamming into Nancy Grace’s face. “Let me check. Yep… there it is, on the floor right behind me, why does it have a little hat on?” the Human had been in much more random situations than this, and for the first time, he was glad to be sitting in a chair next to Antimo. They weren’t fighting each other for once, there was no hitting, no kicking, no weird as fuck special moves being called out of thin air. But, he realized where he was in conjuncture to that situation. He knew the two faces in front of him, he recognized the Communist banner that flapped in the air conditioning vents slowly, as if to signify the end of his journey. But for some reason, all he could think about was the small fact that he had, literally, just shit out his brain.
And to make matters worse, his brain decided to take a taxi to it’s family cottage for the weekend. Right as Morgan needed it the most. ‘Guys?’ he asked inwardly as the first signs of the Apocalypse were shown, as Nancy ‘I’m gonna eat your babies’ Grace adjusted her hair so that the light didn’t get in the way of her deep fried southern evil preacher stare. Antimo didn’t know what the fuck to think at this point. He looked at Morgan, then Morgan’s brain, then to
Nancy Grace, back at Morgan, and then slapped him across the face in an attempt to get some kind of reaction out of his former enemy. Nancy opened her mouth, and Antimo saw of all the universe’s evil deeds coalesce into a single mostly drunken rant.
“Hello and welcome to ‘
Your Not Good Enough America, Go Kill Yourself’, as always, I’m Nancy Grace, along with my co-host
Glenn Beck. Today, we find ourselves at, pretty much, the end of Existence as we know it. Because, this man right here, who started it all, who is at the epicenter of everything, has some questions to answer.” Morgan was confused, he had never actually been in front of a studio camera before. He felt his heart race as the spotlight beamed brightly in his face. To make matters worse, there was a studio audience, made up entirely out of parent’s of Nancy Grace’s victims. The only consolation they had to deal with their grief was the fact that Nancy had given them season tickets. Glenn Beck twitched nervously in his tin foil covered seat, laced with strings of garlic, anointed with holy water, and decorated with the heart of John Lennon, he adjusted his tin foil hat and glared at Antimo. “Just what exactly are you!? Are you a part of the dark forces that are writing a book about me at
this very moment? Are you part of the gay agenda to corrupt our children? Do you believe in Obama? If you do, do you clap your hands to help him out with his presidency and wake him up in the mornings?” Antimo simply looked at Morgan and shrugged as the two continued grilling them with questions that they had no apparent clue how to answer.
That is, until Morgan asked something back. “Why are we here? Let’s start there.” Nancy graced held out a hand just millimeters away from the Human’s nose and glared at him with her ice cold eyes that reminded him of a funny story involving a pedophile and a black hole in space. But before he could finish the thought, Nancy opened her mouth again, revealing the demons of the world in all their glory. “We’ll ask the questions here! We’re
Fox News! No one talks to us in that manner which you apparently just did!”
Antimo couldn’t decide which one he wanted to kill first. “Why are you here!? I’ll tell you why you’re here! The American- no, the planet wants to know what, exactly, you are doing in the company of
that!” Glenn pointed a finger into the liquid mass that was Antimo’s eyeball. This didn’t surprise Morgan at all, but felt a bit of comfort when his friend bit the reporters hand off. “
That is my friend, vastly different then when I first met him, but he’s my friend none the less. We travel together fighting off the Golden Strands, the agent of the Chasm of Non-existence, and anything else that decides to interrupt us. You have a problem with that?” the audience members clapped their hands, obviously believing that Morgan was sent by the Heaven’s or something to that caliber to free them of Nancy’s baby eating ways.
“WE ARE FOX-” “
I really don’t give a flying fuck who you think you are, you spindly bloody mouthed bitch! As for you Nancy, tell us why we’re at Fucked News Studios!” Glenn Beck wet himself out of shame, crapped himself in arrogance, and then burst into a mass of fire, screaming to his death, as he fell off the septillion mile high platform that held up his studio.
“We are just as in the dark as you Morgan, can you tell us why all this is happening?” Morgan shrugged as he took a sip out of the coffee that was right in front of him. “That was Glenn’s-”
“He’s dead, fell off in a burning, screaming mass. As for your earlier question, no, your guess is as good as mine. I only learned of the Golden Strands after it attacked me in the Singolarita Dimensionale. The conduit for all the intersecting places in all of our Dimensions. I’ve fought against the Chasm’s forces, I’ve seen my friend, Antimo here, previously the Creature, and before that the Beast-” Nancy stopped him mid-sentence. “This… thing is the Beast?” the woman queried as her eyes glanced over the blue and black liquid, “The very thing that caused the nearby coma ward to lose almost ten percent of their patients?”
Antimo looked back at Morgan again, he had no clue how to answer the reporter. “Look, since then, I’ve changed around fourteen thousand times, physically, mentally, emotionally, patriotically, and physiologically. I don’t have all the answers, all I know is that I was the Beast, then the Creature, then two siblings grabbed me, threw me in this ribcage like thing, and now here I am. weird, I know. But that’s the simple truth of the matter Nancy. Now-” ”
Everyone get down! Glenn Beck evolved into Mechabeck!” the Govenator screamed, while chowing down on a bowl of hot jellyfish that he later found out was poisoned with a impotence causing drug. “
No! Not little Arnie! Anything but my little Arnie! Die Mechabeck! Robot-Vernichtung, Zerstörung!” Morgan was glad for the distraction. As Nancy Grace tried to defend herself from the clutches of Mechabeck, she grabbed a microphone and continued her interview with her guests despite the Govenator screaming about his impotent Little Arnie.
“
Why!? I will avenge you Little Arnie! I will give pleasure to my Wife once more, and she will be happy! For that is my law! Die!” the Austrian screamed as his left nipple opened up and a fifteen foot long tank barrel shot out, nailing Mechabeck in the nostril, causing the giant robot to sniff up a couple of lines of powdered cement neatly and orderly lined up in rows of four.
“
AH THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF!” the robot screamed as Nancy’s neck was snapped as a way of redemption, for all the misdeeds that Mechabeck did in his Human form. Meanwhile, the Golden
Strands and the Bloody Strands had finished their work at the Council of Ten’s place of residence.
The Strands flitted about the room in the septillion’s of cryo chambers that lined the hundreds of rooms, killing off time displaced copies of the ten Guardians, finding new ways of finishing off the sleeping victims of their horrendous evil.
‘Yes… this is what I’m talking about now! There shouldn’t be anything left except for the glass tube we saw in the main chamber.’ the Golden Strands thought to its Sister. ‘That may be true Brother, but what if that particular one was sealed for a reason?’ the Bloody Strands thought back in contemplation.
‘Do we actually have the time to be debating over whether or not we should kill off every single person in the fucking Dimension!? Do I have to remind you that whatever the G.O.T. wants, the G.O.T. will get!’ the Golden Strands thought angrily. ‘Former G.O.T., now he’s dead, just like me. All because of you!’ the Bloody Strands formed a flame thrower and unleashed a tidal wave of Nitro laced Napalm while she continued, overwhelmed by the new flood of long forotten emotions. ‘
It’s all because of you that I lost my Husband! It’s all because of you that I joined the Chasm! It’s all because of you that I committed quadrillions of vile acts, without even giving pause! I’ve done things that give me nightmares!” the wave slammed down on the Golden Strands as she raged against her so called ‘Brother’. The Golden Strands burned furiously, its size retracting like the eyes of a snail when exposed to salt. It simply laughed off the attack.
‘Yes… I will agree that the chain of events has become… quite interesting, ever since I was ordered- actually, I was just created out of the Chasm’s will. I don’t think anyone ordered me to do anything. I eat away at the very pins and needles of Reality, all aspects of any Dimension, I am far larger than you can possibly comprehend Caasi Lee Gavin. And don’t you
EVER forget that!’ the Golden Strands simply grew back to it’s size. ‘Do you think I am a single entity? A single body or mind? Do you somehow think there is a cure for me? A negative to my positive? I
… I am pure INSTINCT! I am pure HUNGER! I will DEVOUR, and keep devouring for the rest of Existence! Until there is nothing left, I will continue to grow beyond the scope of ANYTHING that your feeble Dream Dimensional mind can imagine! Do not forget who created you!’ the voice was deafening in the Bloody Strands ears. No one had ever called her by that name, not since the Golden Strands had infested her, changing her into the Dread Queen. It was a shock to her system, a kind of reboot that she had been indeed longing for. ‘You know what,
Brother, I may not have a body anymore, I may not have my Husband’s love any more, but I will campaign against you! I have seen the depths of your minds black hearted core, and I know that truth! I know how to defeat you!’ she screamed as the randomly shaped cloud of Bloody Strands slowly compressed back into a
Human body.
‘What? Those measly Fragments that your Husband sent that foolish Preacher to get?
DO NOT FORGET THAT I AM EVERYWHERE!” the voice of the Golden Strands ripped through out every facet, of every Dimension, of every particle of Reality, of every universe in every Existence that Door had access to. The voice crumbled worlds that were teaming with life, caused
black holes to go hypernova, turned antimatter null and forced the remains of a zombified George W. Bush to go back to college and take up several Political, Psychological, English and Acting classes.
“I AM THE GOLDEN STRANDS, I AM EVERYWHERE! THERE IS NO PLACE IN FIVE HUNDRED MILLION NONGENTILLION UNIVERSES THAT I HAVE NOT TOUCHED! I AM MASSIVE! I AM EVERYWHERE! I AM-” the Golden Strands swarmed around the bloody, skinless body of the female Human whose Hazel eyes were just coming into focus.
“you are
WHAT!?” she screamed back, fully formed as her epidermis snapped back into place. “
I swear on my very existence that I will crush you into one centillionth of a singularity, and throw that into the hearts of ten thousand black holes! Blutigen Stränge: Bloody Maschinengewehr Punsch!” she screamed as her hands burst into several thousands bleeding strings and formed one hundred Tommygun barrels. “Now is the part where you die!” “IMPOSSIBLE! DID YOU NOT HEAR ME! I WILL SIMPLY GROW BACK YOU LITTLE BITCH!” the Golden Strands roared as she unleashed torrents of explosive bullets into the oncoming wall of gold. ‘Oh fuck me.’ The walls that were Duotanium that had been folded several thousand times, dented and split as the Golden Strands pummeled its former Sister flatter then one hundredths of a micron, and then repeated the process. This did nothing but disperse the body into the cloud of Bloody Strands. ‘I’m like you, I too have grown, fed upon the living enegry that sustains my life force, and I am several thousand universes larger then this body.’ she said happily. “Now you will face my wrath, Athrú ar mhais: Tránna fuilteacha: Punch gunna fuilteacha meaisín!” she replied happily as the gentle and calm flow of the Golden Strands in front of her slammed into walls, punched holes into the ceiling and floor, and tightened into hundreds of marble sized balls in pain. ‘You fucking bitch! You god damned horrid bitch! I’ll fucking kill you for this!’ the Golden Strands shouted, raged, and roared across every where the Bloody Strands had been. ‘Fine then…. go back to your Husband! See if he takes you back with loving arms… or just tosses you aside! Because now you are like me! You devour death to continue living! How will you control that hunger around him!? How will you ever stop consuming to live? Do you expect them to forgive you for the life that you’ve stolen away from an infinite amount of worlds!?’ the Golden Strands knew it was right, as did the Bloody Strands, but she kept her head as she reformed her body. ‘In my time as this… thing, I’ve learned some interesting facts. Number one being, that I would only need to consume if I wished to grow my size and power, and since I am already formiddable by the damage I’ve just done to you across the realities that I, too, inhabit, I would watch my back. Bitch.’ with the, the Bloody Strands smashed open the glass tube that encased the Guardian’s last ditch effort to erase any color Strands from Existence. ‘What have you done!?” the Golden Strands shrieked in terror, ‘You’ve just unleashed the one thing that will consume us both!’ the voice trilled chirped, roared, and gurgled with terror as a thick Golden Blackish syrup spilled onto the floor. “Who dares disturb my slumber… I was having a sex dream about some fine ass bitches, while drinking a forty, waving my fucking hand in the air because it got stuck in that fucking jar… Well, HELLO?!?” the syrup ranted as it condensed itself into a more recognizable form. “Resaec?” the Bloody Strands asked cautiously. Back in the remains of the Cutting Dimension, Alex, Sho, and the Fragments now under his command traveled through an untold part of the Dimension, where even Gothemos knew nothing about it. “Shh… we’re here. This is Heta’s territory, she’s the leader of the Quaquin, she is the second most powerful leader of our kind. But I warn you, she specializes in powerful combo attacks.” Sho said quietly, motioning to her new master as Alex lead the way. “Well, I have faith in our lord Jesus Christ that nothing will-” Alex was interrupted as he heard someone from far away yell out a combo. “Gamma, Beta, Qoppa, Sampi, Delta!” Hundreds of undead tap dancers jigged their ways from underground, as the closest one knocked Alex on his back while the others were busy rehearsing for their attack on the slowly growing army of Fragments. Alex watched in wonder as the tap dancer that held fast to him looked into his eyes with a kind of wonder and curiosity. Like a child looking at the birds in the sky, or hearing the sounds of the wind rustling through the leaves in the trees. Or even the excitement of knowing that Santa Claus was going to visit that night. Then it head butted him.
Hard.
And fast.
And repeated the process five hundred times.
Driving Alex’s head into the ground further each time. “WHY -ow- DIDNT -ow- YOU -ow- WARN -ow- ME -ow- ABOUT -ow- TAP -ow- DANCING -ow- ZOMBIES -ow- DEAR LORD IN -ow- HEAVEN!” It was only five days later when the Zombies were actually ready, that there was drama in the dressing rooms, as a female Zombie found out her boyfriend, the Grim Reaper, was seeing someone with a pulse. She decided to leave the production and get answers to her questions. It turned out, the Grim Reaper had a sister, and he was only visiting her in the hospital, since she was pregnant with triplets. This deception only brought further curiosity to the broken non-beating heart of the female Zombie and she stabbed him in the eye socket. The Grim Reaper in return, took her to see the only flop available at the time. She returned two days later with a Botox induced smile on her rotting face only to discover that Alex and his Fragments had ripped her friends apart. Depressed even further, she tried hanging herself with a noose, only to discover that she couldn’t die. This discovery depressed her even further, so she wrote a book called “Going Rogue”. It sucked, but it sold pretty well. It was five days later when Alex peered over the edge of the cliff to see the female Zombie writing on her laptop, while still hanging from the noose. Curious, the Preacher helped the Zombie back onto the cliff where she promptly introduced herself, and after some tea and biscuits, attacked him before her head was smashed in by Alpha and a sledge hammer. “What the flying fuck was that all about?” Alpha said angrily as he helped omega off the ground, and watched as Nu, Xi, Pi, and Mu returned to Alex’s mind to repair themselves. “Dunno…” Omega said, “But did you see the way that Zombie back flipped, did the splits, lost a leg, and then proceeded to beat the crap out of Eta and San with said leg? My god! That was fucking brutal!” she laughed. “But the way you tore into those two hundred undead back up dancers for My Chemical Romance was fascinating! Where the fuck did you learn those moves!?” she asked amazed still more by Alpha’s agility. “I just rummaged through Alex’s memories of all his high school dances. Twas nothing really.” the Fragment said with a bit of gusto. The Preacher looked at the Female Zombie’s laptop and recognized the name. “Sarah Palin was a Zombie all this time? That explains her intelligence level. Wait, no, this is her Daughter, Bristol Palin’s writing, ‘Going Rogue’ was a typo, the name was actually ‘Going Vogue’.” Sho looked around nervously for the next attack. “Master-” “Seriously, what is up with calling me Master? Just call me by my name, Alex!” the Preacher interrupted. “Sorry master- I mean Alex, but I don’t think we should stand in one place for too long or else-” sho was interrupted as another combo was called out from the distance. “Beta, Zeta, Iota!” she heard Heta’s voice call out. “Not good.” the Fragment said as Alex wondered what she meant. “Why is that combo not good?” “Because, that’s the combo for calling up a evil clone of your target.” Sho breathed. “Let me guess, like Pi did with that whole Xela thing?” Alex inquired. Sho nodded nervously. “Yeah, only except this time, this guy’s five thousand times more powerful then what Pi did. And five thousand times fa-” Sho fell down to the ground, and was launched in the air by several chainsaw wielding octopi. “WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE DAMNED CHAINSAWS!?” Sho raged as a Shadow slammed three clubs into her back, cracking five ribs, shattering her skull, and ripping through both arms. “Great… now I’m going to have the pleasure of growing these things back! Asshole.” she muttered as she returned to Alex’s mind, appearing next to her subordinates. “What!?” the four simply shrugged and went back to sleep. The Shadow slammed into the ground, creating ten F12 mini tornadoes that ripped the seconds away from the ground that the tips touched. Alex yawned. “And who might you be? Wait, let me guess… Megaxela? Negalex? Some random mixing of the letters in my name?” the Preacher sighed as he tapped his foot. In the first tap, Alpha’s kneecaps were crushed, his windpipe torn from his throat, and his lungs torn apart from inside. the second tap, Eta’s spine ripped out, snapped in two, and had one half shoved down his throat and the second stabbed through the side of his ribcage. The third tap, Tau’s head was shoved up Psi’s ass, Psi’s head, shoved up Chi’s ass, Chi’s head, shoved up San’s ass, and San’s head, shoved up Tau’s ass before each was slammed in the crotch with the blade of a two ton ax. The five Fragments returned to the room the others were in, eachs head, smelling like shit. The fourth tap, Rho was impaled through herself as the Shadow snapped her in two and shunted one half up her own ass, causing Rho’s lower intestine to cut off her oxygen supply, suffocating her, and causing her to return to the others, smelling also like shit. “This is not a good thing at all. Alex can’t do anything that would remotely damae that bastard without us!” Alpha said, as his injuries slowly healed back up. “Don’t forget, he’s a Preacher. And that shit burns like Hell.” Rho said, remembering the punishment Alex put her through. “For all our sakes, I hope you’re right Rho. Heta’s a whole fifteen thousand levels above Pi in terms of ability, no offense.” Sho said calmly as everything returned to it’s rightful place. Pi shrugged. “Meh, your injuries are nothing compared to having our heads shoved up each others asses, and then having our heads, and crotches sliced in two by that freak of nature.” Omega nodded. “That thing did all of that, in just four taps of Alex’s foot. I hope he knows what he’s doing out there. Anyone want to take a bet?”
“I think I just shit out my brain.” Morgan said as the Puperpeep shot out another beam of sexual frustration, the cylinder of pink light rocketing past his left ear and slamming into Nancy Grace’s face. “Let me check. Yep… there it is, on the floor right behind me, why does it have a little h …
