defenatley not what you think
custodi della realta, part 11.2
“Sho, Rho, Mu, Psi!” Kim shouted as Lego men and women clacked for their lives, their smiles hid the terror they were experiencing by only a small margin. Kim summoned up five trillion Doxies flying F16s, which made Morgan wonder how tiny dogs could see over the dashboard and pilot a multi-billion dollar fighter jet. But then he  was distracted by their adorable eyes and let his guard down.

 ”THEY’RE SO FUCKING CUTE!” he shouted as all of them let loose enough firepower to really overcook a smore by a lot. The missiles passed by Morgan who had somehow grown a glow in the dark afro. “I…” he started while striking a pose, “Am the mighty and powerful Afroman! fear my poofiness! POOFINESS!” Morgan crowed as a ten mile wide ping pong paddle attached to a metal claw swatted the missiles back towards the trembling doxies. “I CAN’T WATCH!” luckily, the tiny dogs whizzed on the eject button and were sent somewhere safe. But they realized the horrid truth.

All five billion Doxies had wound up at a terrifyingly fat woman’s house, where she dressed all her dogs in frilly pink outfits and named them Nicole Bitchy. Back in Lego land, Morgan was busy bashing Kim into the ground with his Afro turned massively over sized duck tail. “Now feel the wrath of one who knows the power of dreams!” the Lost Wolf crowed as he created a black hole out of thin air and punched it. Kim laughed in confidence, thinking the black hole would swallow him up, instead, three hundred white holes opened up and she was instantly punched in every available space on her body.  ”Chi, Psi, Phi! Rho, Sho, Mu, Nu!” she flung out each of her arms and unleashed a horde of Joan Rivers.

“Oh! Gawd! That hair is worse then the Emmy’s last night!” Joan said as she pulled a pin from the back of her head, and instantly, she became a man of such extreme ugliness, that Morgan took her out back and put her down like Old Yeller. He walked back in blue overalls, a cowboy hat, and a farmers tan with a shotgun slung over his shoulder.

“Had to be done, she was getting on in age.” he said silently as he walked past Kim. “Enough of this… tell me… why do you fight me?”

 Morgan stopped, ‘That is a good question. I have not one good answer.’ he thought to himself as he continued walking towards the door.  ”Answer me!” she urged him. Morgan still said nothing for a few seconds and then stopped.

“Well, we don’t have a choice. We continue to fight for what we believe in, or survival, or to invade, or to protect… in the end, its all just a pissing contest between two people. Speaking of which! Seishin shōben kōgeki.” he brought his hands to his temples, and Kim wet herself. “Me personally, I just like the feel of growing more powerful. you and I both know that the Door and Chasm can’t be destroyed forever, even now both sides are simply rebuilding their name sakes.”

This caught kim off guard, “You mean their just like sexual predators, waiting for their next chance to sexually assault some poor fellow in the hat?”  Morgan was too busy getting his next attack in order to pay attention to the Hungarian bodybuilder sidling up behind him. He only found out too late, when she shouted the one word he would forever grow to hate. “Onglyza!”

“Ongly- fuck!” he shouted as the bodybuilder forcefully gave him a suppository up to his elbow. “Why god!? Why!?” the Lost Wolf shouted as he ran away from his opponents new best friend. Kim smiled, and new that he would simply give in from this point on.

“Okay… you want to play it that way? I’ll play then, YOUR MONTHLY GIFT!” Morgan smiled widely as she instantly received a cramped, bloated feeling and had to sit down. “Okay… I forfeit!”

“Damn straight you do!”

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“Sho, Rho, Mu, Psi!” Kim shouted as Lego men and women clacked for their lives, their smiles hid the terror they were experiencing by only a small margin. Kim summoned up five trillion Doxies flying F16s, which made Morgan wonder how tiny dogs could see over the dashboard and pilot a multi-billi …
Ch. 1: divertente della amuletto, part 2

The car screeched to a halt, Sarah’s mind racing with more questions and even more confusion in her mind then before.

“I-I don’t understand Morgan. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? We could’ve reasoned with them, you are their creator aren’t you?! Oh god. Mike, Kim”

“Well, not so much her as mike but, still. I understand how your feeling at the moment. Let me-”

Sarah smacked him hard across the face with her free hand and screamed as loud as she could into his ear. “YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL?! YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL?! LISTEN MORGAN, YOU HAVE NO CLUE AS TO WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME? WE ARE GOING TO THE DREAM WORLD AND GETTING MIKE AND KIM BACK!” Morgan sat in silence for the remainder of the ride, not saying a word and looked blankly out the window at the passing backround.

Sarah, fuming mad at Morgan for what he had unleashed upon her brother, smacked him again.

“I want to know everything you know about Nordafet and Credion. How they were created, what the circumstances were, and what you had for breakfast.” Sarah shouted resolutely.

“What good would that do you?” Morgan questioned, still feelin the sting from her slap.

“Because I have not had lunch yet.” Sarah replied, her stomach’s growling drowning out the blairing radio.

‘Makes sense.’ Morgan thought to himself as they roared down the street and pulled into the driveway.

“Out with it now.” she commanded as they pulled into the driveway that lead to her house.

Morgan sat down in the kitchen while Sarah made lunch for herself. “It was too long ago to remember all the details, but, I’ll do my best.” the tall man started, as he watched Sarah pull some left over pizza from the fridge. “You see Nordafet was the first of the two, he is mainly composed of joy and madness. Which means hes somewhat unstabe. I was only six years old then and my pet rabbit had died.”

Sarah sat down, brushing aside a stray hair as she did so. “So, this Nordafet thing was created over the death of a rabbit?” Morgan sighed, his green eyes starting to tear up. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not, I’m just a little tired that’s all. It happens. Yes, it was over the death of my rabbit Frisky… You see I didn’t have many friend growing up, the ones I did have I cherished with all my soul. It went much deeper with my pets though, each one I consider to be like a brother or sister. Nordafet, when first created, was in the shape of a rabbit, like the one I had just lost. He didn’t know how he was created or why. But, he knew I was in need of someone comforting. Through-out the years he cheered me up, and always had my back whenever I was in a nightmare or bad dream. Over time his shape gradualy changed into a five armed figure. Then one day, he wasn’t in my dreams anymore, I had to fend for myself in nightmares and face my fears.”

Sarah listened to all of this with interest, if this had happened before she knew Morgan, she might have thought him insane and sided with Aneeh in her opinion that he was dangerous.

“So how did Credion come to be? Nordafet was talking about his sister I’m guessing it had to do with a girlfriend of the past?” Morgan mind was still reeling from the fact that Nordafet was still alive, as well as Credion for that matter.

“In a manner of speaking. She was created from the guilt I felt from what happened with Kim two years back. Your familiar with it, so I Won’t retell an old tale. When everything was over and done with, I felt an incredible emptyness inside me. A hole that wouldn’t fill no matter how hard I tried. Like I was lost in my own darkness without any source of light. Credion was formed from that darkness, a darkness so deep and endless that it amazed me that we found our way out alright.”

Sarah’s eyes widened. “Whoa, whoa whoa you mean to tell me, that Credion, was created from inside your own depression and lonelyness?”

Morgan nodded, smiling all the while. “Yeah, amazing isnt it? When I finaly was able to fill the void in my heart, it felt as though there was a tiny part that wouldnt fill. And everyonce in a while when I’m not expecting, a sharp pain stabs me there. Credions only a good two or three years old at most. But, in the world of dreams, that’s an awfully long time. Enough time to grow intellectually, emotionally and strategically. Hell I wouldnt even be surprised if she grasped on how to make Deom of her own. That would be a pain in the but,t to say the least.” he yawned as he looked at the time and smiled sheepishly. “Ya know what? The first slap I did deserve. But, what the hell was the second one for?” Sarah didn’t know what he was talking about until she realized she must have slapped him twice on the way to her house.

“I guess I was still mad at you for everything that’s happened so far. Sorry about that.” the brown haired woman replied.

“No problem,so I guess I’m going to crash on the couch then?” Morgan asked, motioning towards the couch with his head.

Sarah rolled out the sofa bed that she and mike used whenever studying had gotten too tiring and they needed a nap from the psychology and music quizes and practices. “Sure, so dude, why don’t you tell me some more about the Deom, all you’ve managed to tell me so far is that you made them, there are only two of them, there brother and sister, and they want our treasure why don’t you start with the treasure first?”

Morgan smiled and laid his head on the arm of the sofa bed. “Well, the treausre they are referring too isnt something that can be aquired, if only once in a life time. Its beyond value and everyone has it but, loses it and never gains it back.”

Sarah thought on this for a while and decided to shoot for the stars. “Virginity?”

Morgans smile faded a bit, it remained there never the less. “Nope. Not that. Even though everyone has it and loses it, that’s not what their after. Remember, I created those two, so that’snot what there after. There after something much more value. Something that starts at a beginning and only finishes at the end.”

“Life is what we desire the most a life of our own, to breathe the air and to taste the waters, to speak openly with people and and become one with the world of the waking. This is why we need your sister and her friend, this is why weve taken you and the female-”

“HEY! I HAVE A NAME YOU KNOW!”

“Regardless of what your name is, we do know that Morgan still holds some interest in you. The only reasons we need mike is to lure Sarah here.” mike had long since woken up for his meeting with the wall and had been asking Nordafet and Credion a lot of questions. At first they were annoyed with his persistance but, gradualy began to grow accustomed to his inquirries. Kim however, wasn’t so lucky as they ignored her complaints and worries.

“WHEN MY DAD FINDS OUT ABOUT THIS, HELL KICK YOUR ASSES!”

“Like he can find us any ways, Morgan has a trinket around his neck that can allow us to seemlessly end our existences as Deom, then and only then can we rest in peace. It has been too long since we have rested and we desire it more then ever.” the Humans were quiet for a while before mike stomach growled.

“Do you Deom eat? Because Humans need to whether you recognized it or not.” Mike said hungrilly.

“Yes, the minibar is over there by the unrecognizable gray and gold blob.” credion replied calmly.

“Thanks a bunch!” the man said happily.

Morgan had just fallen alseep and started to snore, when Sarah’s parents came into the door.

“So who is he?” the father asked curiosly, he had seen Morgan walking around town but, he never got a chance to talk to him.

”just a friend helping me find mike dad. So how was work?” she replied as her dad yawned a bit the said that it was good and that it was alright. Her folks went to bed after grabbing a bite to eat and soundly shut the door.

“Why the necklace” Morgan mumbled in his sleep, turning to one side as he did.

“I better grab some shut eye as well. Could be a long dream, but, I have this paper to finish I’ll be there in a few minutes, just hang on where ever you are in the Dream World.” she whispered as shepulled a highlighter from her bag.

“Hmm I wonder where I am OOOH! Food!” Morgan smiled as he spied a giant bowl of cereal next to the town of the Gummybear village. “He he he. Looks like I’m going to be the most fed person in the Dream World!” he darted off for the cereal first, because he knew that if he let cereal set for too long, it would turn rotten.

“HEY! YOU! JERK!” the bowl growled at him as Morgan touched the tip of the spoon with his middle finger.

‘Well’ he thought to himself, ‘Too late for the cereal. Although I could defenatley go for the Gummy Village.’ Morgan set off for the village, not knowing it was a trap set by Credion.

“Yes. Go into the village of snacks and feast. Your fate is set in stone if you eat just one villager Morgan.”the deom laughed from behind a bush that was two feet from the human.

He stopped for a second and thought it was a bad idea to be eating anything inthe Dream World, especially since he was supposed to be looking for Mike and Kim. although he could do without Kim. “Who said that?!”

“No one here but, us DreamWworld folks! No Deom around here at all! Especialy not one named Credion, who wants you to eat the gummy village because its a trap thatll make you into something horrendous!”

‘Damn’, Credion thought to herself, ‘I hope he isn’t that perceptive of my overly obvious attempt to hide myself and my evil plans!’

“Well, okay! As long as I can eat everything in this dream, I’ll be fine! Although it is strange that the wind sounds an awfully lot like Credion.”

Credion watched as Morgan entered the village and set himself up in a room for the night at the coco lodge. “He is that ignorant. It’s amazing! Now for Sarah, I cant let her and Morgan meet up again. Shes the antidote for the poison he’ll ingest in the village and then the change won’t happen. That will be most unfortunate for Nordafet.” Credion slipped into the shadows and then sunk into the ground, thinking only her scheming thoughts while her brother was taking care of Mike and Kim.

“LET ME GO YOU FREAKS! MY DAD WILL KICK YOUR ASSES!” Kim shouted as her blond hair drooped in front of her face. “I really have to pee!”

Mike gave Nordafet a look which said it all.

“Oh shut it already. I told you, you’re here to lure Morgan. He says he’s not interested but, I’ve been a part of him for too long to know that’s a lie. He cares for you. And yet you scare the bejesus out of him for some reason.”

She stopped screaming was suddenly interested in what he had to say. “Why do you say that?” Mike decided now was a good time to take a nap since these things could take a while.

“Well. Think about it Kim you remind him of every girl hes ever fallen hard for, dating way back to his early schooling years, hes had the hardest time with admitting he loved you.” Nordafet replied in cold calculating tones.

“But, hes twenty two years old. You would think that-” she was interrupted by Credion who was laughing snidely.

“Come my brother, and let us converse about his downfall.” Nordafet gave Kim a shrug and sunk into the gorund after his sister. He fillowed her a ways until they came to a hole fifteen feet in radius. “Well? What of Morgan’s progress? Did my prediction work like a charm or what?”

Sarah had just put the finishing touches on her paper and was suddenly overcome with exhaustion. “Maybe just a nap will do me wonders I need-” sarah became more and more drowsy with every word that passed through her lips, “- to find Morgan and help him out.” she fell asleep unaware that the wheels of fate had been set in motion, and she would have to make one of the hardest choice she would ever face.

Morgan was having the time of his life, eating the tainted, poisoned villagers of the Gummi Village without realizing his own transformation, as his skin turned gradualy to a metallic surface that became harder then steel. he didnt notice it until he couldn’t move for minutes at a time. “What’s happening to me I’m so hungry, I must eat more,” he muttered as his transformation was being caused by his own hunger. The villagers acceptng there fates as planned by Credion all along.

‘Yes go ahead Morgan, eat to your hearts content, they are the poison to which your antidote will never cure. You’ll become a monster beyond recognizability, and soon very soon. Sarah will face her fate. The keyholes to the plane must never be opened. Or else all our hard work will never come to fruition.’ Credion gigled as her emotion based heart beat rapidly with excitement.

Morgan continued to eat for the next fifteen days, gradualy becoming full of the poison until he couldnt move anymore. He began to scream, but soon, those screeches became thunderous roars of greed, lust, and hunger beyond anything he’d ever felt before. Tubes shot out his back, gears replaced his joints, his jaw jutted out and razors replaced his teeth, his bones cracked and strained, twisting to their new forms.

“Must. feed. Must… find… Sarah… need… help… hurry.” each breath he took was labored and mechanical, his muscle turned steel wire, his eyes turned to lights, pulsing red and white with power. “Cant feed, must end, find Sarah!” a beast like roar erupted from his bowels and shook loose the bearings the village around his was fastened to. Morgan no longer Morgan, a new beast, a monster from which bore all his darkness and left only with one goal. To end all things. The gravity around him increased rapidly as his mind twisted and screeched with the gears and circuitry that had replaced it.

“Kill.”

The crater around his new form widening as the gravity increased, his body shrouding itself with a deadly thick fog. “Yes! YES! AHH, HA, HA, HA, HA! GO AND DESTROY YOUR ANTIDOTE, GO END SARAH DI LE SOGNO DINASTIA! ETERNAL DARKNESS, MY INCUBO WILL REIGN SUPREME!” the Deom laughed, her joy only supressed by the thought that something might derail her ultimate goal.

Sarah arrived in the dream world five minutes after she had fallen asleep and witnessed the tragic change that had enveloped the world of dreams as she saw on top a mountian of steel, a figure wrapped in a deep blue fog as he reached out and lightning struck his finger tips.

“I’m afraid its too late for Morgan Sarah.” a voice said from behind her, she turned around suddenly and screamed in suprised as Nordafet made his appearance known to her.

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The car screeched to a halt, Sarah’s mind racing with more questions and even more confusion in her mind then before. “I-I don’t understand Morgan. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? We could’ve reasoned with them, you are their creator aren’t you?! Oh god. Mike, Kim” “Well, not so much her as mike bu …
Ch. 1: divertente della amuletto, part 1
It was the same thing… Over and over, the Deom surrounding her, the screams, and then silence. What could it all mean? Sarah woke up at 3:00 AM, looked to her left and yawned only to fall asleep again. ‘Damn it… How the hell is this going to help me with everything that’s going on?’ The next night, the dream was a little bit different this time, as a familiar face showed up in the dream. “Hi Morgan.” The tall man turned around, and after a little scream that made him sound like a little girl, did he calm down. “Howdy! What’s going on here? One minute I was dreaming of taking a bite out of the biggest slice of pizza surrounded by all these cute girls… and as soon as I bit down… I’m surrounded by Deom’s that look a little bit like Jay Leno on a bender. Not a pretty site mind you. So…. where the Hell am I?”

She explained to her friend that they were in a dream of hers. “Nice.” He smiled just a bit, getting an idea into his mind about something and laughed a little.

“What’s so funny?” “Nothing …Just a stupid little thought. About food. And not about something else. Which is the farthest thing from my mind. Because its 3 AM, and I’m starving. Seriously, you got any food on ya?” The screams happened again and the two of them took one look into the darkness and sighed. “SHUT THE HELL UP ALREADY! WE KNOW YOUR THERE!”

“Can they hear you?” “I don’t think so… But it was fun to say.” They walked a little ways until they came to a clearing, then without warning Morgan disappeared in a puff of cherry scented smoke, as he faded away he said, “By the way? Your hair smells nice! See ya when I see ya!”

Sarah smiled to herself, as she somehow knew it was not going to be the last time this happened. “Deom huh? Great… Something else I have to deal with. I wonder what’s going to happen next?” She woke up again. This time in her room apparently, got up and went through the usual routine of getting ready, snagged a bite to eat before heading off to the college for another fun filled boring day of classes, A.S.B. work, poking fun at her friend, and watch another friend suck face with his girlfriend. Fun times, did lay ahead. As she sat in traffic she allowed her mind to wander from subject to subject, occasionally getting honked at for taking too long at the stop sign and wondering why she had taken fifteen minutes to make a right turn. Classes went by like a blur, the usual appearance by Morgan also passed the time, but not by much as he didn’t really have anything much to say besides the usual remarks of wanting sun crackers to complete his life.

The next night progressed quite the same, the howls, the appearance of Morgan. “Don’t you ever get tired of this?” He asked quietly to which the Deoms screeched again. To which he replied “Don’t YOU ever get tired of this?” he asked quietly to which the Deom screeched again. To which he replied “OH YEAH? WELL, AT LEAST I DONT HAVE TO HANG UPSIDE DOWN TO GET A DATE! in fact, I just insulted myself didn’t I?” Sarah nodded to him, smiling a bit as she did so. “Well in any rate we should probably get going before they figured out I insulted their mating ritual. Deom are kinda weird like that.”

Sara was confused as to how Morgan had been entering her dreams, Well this one in particular. As they walked down a crystal shard path, littered with glowing colors and a slight fog which smelled of cherries and grapes, a sudden thought popped into her mind. “Um… I don’t mean to pry Morgan-”  Morgan smiled as he always did, “Nothing to apologize for, just ask and ye shall receive. What’s on your mind?”

“-But how do you keep popping up in my dreams? I mean, I like the company of you preferred to, whatever you called them,” “Deom?”

“Yeah, Deom. But how are you doing this and what’s the point?”  Morgan stopped walking, bent at the knees a little bit to get eye level with her and said in a mysterious voice “Divertente di le amuleto, infinito le serratura a le trama.” Sarah stopped along with Morgan, looking into his green eyes with some uncertainty.

“What did you just say?!” Morgan smiled a bit and said nothing, his mind already distracted with thoughts of randomness. “To answer your first question, I don’t know how I got here, secondly, I rather like this popping into your dreams,” he added slyly, “Never know when I’m going to see something interesting. Anyways, we have a ways to go before we hit the star shaped door. So we better get a move on.”

“But you didn’t answer my question!” As they walked on, they talked about many subjects of common interest, from family to dreams, fears to jobs. In fact they talked about almost everything until Morgan couldn’t talk anymore.

“So what was it you said earlier after getting away from the Deom. What are the Deom anyway? You seem to know an awful lot for someone who claims to be a little clueless.” she asked out of the blue. As Sarah and Morgan continued to walk, they passed a huge moon sized sphere of water, crystal blue with fish swimming in, out, and around it for no apparent reason. “What I said back there isn’t anything of interest to you. You’ll find out sooner or later, and when you do, you’ll understand why I didn’t tell you at first. I’m sure you know Italian very well, so I shouldn’t have to tell you right off the bat. The fact of the matter is that you have one Hell of a treasure in you right now that the Deom want, Hell, I have it as well.” Morgan took a break and stretched his arms out, grabbing a flying chocolate bat as he continued his explanation. “The Deom aren’t a species or a race, or even that smart for that matter. They are pure imagination, let loose by our own wants and desires. They can either be good or bad, depending on our thoughts and feeling at their individual time of creation. There are good Deom and bad Deom called the Rogue, although just like us Humans and various other races, they have there own social ladder as well that’s divided into three sects.”

Sara was really interested in what the man beside her had to say, “Go on, what are these three sects called and why do they want what we have?” He smiled again and only laughed as he faded away again into the sphere and said “Well, looks like its time for us to wake up. Dream you tomorrow night!”

She awoke abruptly, looked at the clock and sighed, Sarah still had another four hours to go before she had to get ready for the day. After a fitful fifteen minutes, she fell back asleep, her mind still wondering what it all meant and what the treasures she and Morgan had inside them. Though she wasn’t dreaming, she could hear the Deom whispering to her, there voices twisted and dark, but somehow uplifting to her darker side. “He is dangerous that one…”
“You should watch yourself around him…”
“He carries a darkness so black that light cannot escape it….”
“He will devour the light inside you too Sarah….”
“The amulet he wears around his neck…”
“The dragon and the ring…”
“Those are the treasures we desire…”

Sarah couldn’t respond, only listening in contemplation as she tried to place the voices that were speaking to her. “Come Credion… “
“We have much work to do if we want that damned necklace so much…”
“Too much if you ask me. You’re always obsessing over it, ‘Oh Nordafet, I want his necklace so much, I want it so bad I can taste it!’…”
“Bah! Your stupid trinkets are what created this whole mess to begin with…”
“Come, let us speak with the brother of this human woman.”

She thought the voices sounded almost like her two friends in the A.S.B., but the names were different. What did the Deom want with Mike? What possible use did they have for him? What the Hell did Morgan mean by what he said? She would have to ask him the next time she saw him. The next morning progressed quite the same as the previous, though a little stranger then the last. The first thing she noticed was that the board meeting went a little faster then usual, with one member asking for a raise or he would leave the college for the offer he had received from one of there rivals. The next thing she knew was that her oceanography class showed a video of a plankton doing the Macarena as well as showing parts of a fish she hadn’t learned were there before. The tests were off kilter, the classes were losing their focus and people were demanding raises. Something was not right.

As usual and with perfect timing that she could count on, Morgan showed up the first chance he got and heated up his morning Hotpocket for two minutes, disappeared downstairs and came back up with notebook in hand and ten seconds remaining on the microwave. “Shit!” and as usual, he burned himself after taking a bite out of his breakfast for the day.

“Hey Morgan, how are you doing?” Sarah cheerfully asked before her eyes returned to the computer screen in front of her.  “Umm… good now that I’ve got some food in hand, some burns from the war on this hot pocket, and the news keeps getting better!” the red haired man said as he took his usual seat in the chair against the wall behind Sarah’s chair.

 the brown haired woman couldnt help but turn around and tease him about the hotpocket being charred black and hard. after a few minutes of banter, she returned to the screen she was looking at and noticed a new email in her inbox titled ‘Deom warning’ from an even strange address. “Morgan?” she asked as she clicked on the email header.

“yeah?” he replied through choking down an over sized bite of food. “water… water…” after a few seconds, he forced the chunk down his throat. “never mind! all better, whats up Sarah Bear?” “Did you create a new email address? If you did this, it isn’t a very good joke.”

Morgan looked over her shoulder to the email address and she read what the contents said. “Sarah… We have your brother… Morgan… We have your love…. If you want them both back, give us the necklace and your treasure in the Dream Dimension tonight by the inverted sword in his minds eyes. We are watching you.” Morgan thought about what they meant by ‘We have your love…’ and made the connection. “Kim? I don’t love her. They can keep her, but your brother on the other hand, I don’t want anything to happen to him. Still why would they want the treasure and my necklace. As far as I know it’s just a trinket I pulled together. Hrm, Tonight will be interesting to say the least… Ah crap!” Sarah was jolted in her seat.

 “What’s wrong?”  “I’m late for class! Damn it, this’ll be the third time this week! Gotta go, I’ll call ya later!” and with that he ran off to class, nearly running into Mike on the way out and sliding down the banister.

“What was that all about?” Her brother said wearily as he watched the lanky man dash off to his class. “Damn hes fast. Ohh! yeesh… Thats gonna sting in a bit… Nope, he’s up and running again. So what’s the plan today?” The Deom watched, undetected by the two Humans, unseen by there limited eyesight, unheard by there soundless voices, and unfelt by the feelings which bound the Deoms form together.

“Well, we sent her an ‘email’… its tradaning hard to write one of them with our emotion based forms. Seriously! Do you know how much cheamaterra it takes to write something of that magnitude!? It takes a lot of tradaning concentration….” “Oh well Credion.”

“Wait a second, how come the human brother is there, when we have him over here?” They looked at the male they had taken captive. His short curly brown hair shined in the darkness as the only source of light was the projection of the human realm and the room the two were in. “Nothing to worry about Nordafet my brother… I have taken the steps and created a perfect Deom replica of this, Mike, Based on the memories and feelings that Sarah has toward her brother. She shouldn’t be able to detect much difference other then the fact that strong emotions will put him into a five minute coma.”

“Five minute coma? Why did you allow that flaw to be built into him my sister?” nordafet asked with little hesitation or patience. Credion smiled a wicked smile and answered. “Just so this plot of ours will be more interesting. At any rate, this Sarah and this Morgan have something we need! The-”

“The necklace that man is always wearing, the one he never takes off, the one with the dragon on it? And the class ring? The one you’ve had your eye on these past four years? The one we set up this whole elaborate plan to grab it from him? That necklace?” nordafet grilled his sister with the questions, and than waited for her to nod eagerly.  ”And can you tell me why we had to kidnap the female as well?” The Deom of joy and madness pointed with a stony finger towards the human female hanging from a string of darkness like a fly caught in a spiders web.

“He has a particularly strong attraction to her… And he would do anything to get her back. I didn’t make a Deom replica of her, and based on the history of the two, the others would think he did it, and he would then have need to get her back before they noticed.” Credion replied with a sly sense of wickedness to her voice. Mike woke up groggily and looked at his surroundings. “Where am I? what’s going on here? I must still be sleeping, damn it I’m hungry! Oh that’s a wolf! Cool…WAIT A MINUTE! A WOLF! FRIGGIN HELL!” Mike jolted up and started screaming his head off at the sight of Credion, the Deom of agression and lust, and ran away till he ran smack dab into an invisible wall.

“Oooo… that’s gonna stordionist in a few moments. In case you hadn’t noticed or paid attention to the details Credion… you would’ve noticed that the attraction to the female hanging up there has pretty much disappeared. So he’d only come to get her out the need to keep his daert out of trouble.” Nordafet pointed out, slightly annoyed that his sister hadnt thought this plan of hers through thoroughly enough. ”We shall see Nordafet… We shall see.” As Mike lay unsconcious from the meeting between his face and the wall, which left a first impression that knocked him out cold, he heard a message from the Human realm.

“Divertente di le amuleto, infinito le serratura a le trama. The best is yet to come.” Morgan was walking home, he was fairly confident about a lot of things, one being that the dreaming was getting a lot more interesting these days, and that he couldn’t wait till he became exhausted from the days events and fall asleep. Another was that it was not always a fun thing to walk home by himself. He sometimes wished he had someone to talk to. As he walked down the usual road, he felt as though something were touching him on the head, turning him away from his destination.

“Knock it off Deom. I’m not interested, we’re going to get her brother back, the woman you can keep. I have no interest in her anymore. Trust me on this one.” Morgan said as he shook his head hard to the left and continued on his way home. ‘How did you know I was watching you human? And why do you not have any interest in her? Is she not beautiful? Attractive even?’ The Deom made itself visible to Morgan and walked beside him, curious as to his reaction.

“It’s not that, she’s all those things. I just don’t want to deal with the looks she gives me… That’s all.” The man said with slight sadness in his heart. ‘But people will start to talk, human. They will blame you for her disappearance, accuse you of kidnapping, blame you, even hate you! You know what we want, and you know how to give it to us. She holds no real interest for us. So why not come and get her?’ The Deom pressed, its words laced with intentions Morgan knew all too well.

Morgan was used to this kind of entertainment, he always daydreamed whenever he got bored or put in situations where things were out of his control. He knew a lot about the Deom more then he let on, and he had to keep the secret from Sarah for as long as possible. “Like I said, I’m not interested in her. I’ll come and get her and Sarah’s brother, but as for the woman in question, I’m only getting her to keep things calm. I’m assuming that you’re the sister to Nordafet then?” Morgan exclaimed in questioning tones.

‘How did you know?’ The creature asked, as there were no real defining male or female traits in Deom. “Easy, only a female would use past heartbreaks to get results.” Morgan sneered.

‘Don’t leave us guys out as well Morgan. Long time no see, looking healthy as always…  I can change that!’ a second voice said as needles pierced his arm and shot through the other side, sending a racking pain through Morgan’s arm. Nordafet’s sister laughing beside the Human as he grimaced in pain. “Sorry, not today Nord. Just tell me what I need to do to get everything straightened out.” when there was no further answer, Morgan decided that there was more to this treasure then the two Deom were letting onto. ”I’ll get to the bottom of this. I swear it.”

Sarah had just gotten through finishing her paper and had briefly entered the car, still wondering what tonight’s dreams would bring. “More answers to question I didn’t ask. Hrm… I wonder what Morgan’s doing about now. Probably still walking home at this time.” All of a sudden she heard a voice enter the conversation with herself. “I thought I told you to stay away from him Sarah!” She jumped in her seat and looked into the rear view mirror to see Aneeh in the backseat with a juice box.Her dark brown eyes narrowing to slits to demonstrate her somehow threatening appeal.

 “Hi…um Aneeh?” “Yes?” The small Indian woman in the back seat asked, her dark eyes matching Sarah’s.

“How..come you’re in my car?” Aneeh smiled a smile which shown off her teeth. “I squeezed in through the tailpipe, worked my way into the air conditioner and popped out the vents.”

“Ah… that explains why the covers on the floor. So… why are you telling me to stay away from Morgan? He’s not dangerous you know? And we have this conversation about every couple of days.” Aneeh drank some more from the juice box. “Well you know what happened between him and kim right?” Sarah’s friend asked snidely, almost like a snapping turtle taking a bite out of a passing fish.

 “Well there’s not going to be a repeat of that. Ever. Look we talked about it and we agreed that we’re just friends and that’s it. We’ve both been through our own things and he’s over her, and even though he likes me, he’s not going to push it any further.” Aneeh closed her eyes half way and glared at Sarah. “She’s been missing for the past couple of days, the office has been getting calls about her whereabouts, and we have suspicion that he’s responsible.”

Sara reached back, laid a hand on Aneeh and smacked her. “Look, I don’t want to hear you blaming him for anything ever again. Unless he comes out and says it, then just knock it off. He’s been through Hell and back.”  Aneeh replied with slight of hand. “Oh really then? Then what happened to your brother? How do you know he’s not behind that as well? The signs are all there Sarah. The way he looks at you-”

“That’s because he’s my friend Aneeh. My FRIEND.” Sarah interrupted as she stared out the front window. “-or what about the songs he writes?” Aneeh continued, ignoring her friends cross look.

 Sarah thought about kicking her out the window shield. “he asked permission to use me as his inspiration, Aneeh and told me that some of them would get a little deep.” “Well what about the blogs he writes?” Aneeh continued, getting excited about making morgan into someone to be feared, but obviously missing the fact that Sarah wasn’t buying into it. she kept pressing on anyway

 Sara rolled her eyes and thought for a moment about whether or not Aneeh could fit back into the now broken air conditioning vent. “What about them? They are entertaining to read. Some of them are actually deep and thoughtful, although they can get a little depressing from time to time.” Aneeh saw for a moment that she was thinking of something else and had enough of her blame game for one day. “Did you get those reports done? The ones for the Congo De Mayo trip?” Aneeh hissed slightly and nodded slowly. “Yeah, I got them in yesterday. Everything should be taken care of, so they’re not really any worry. Think about what I said here Sarah. There’s something not quite right about that man.” with that, she open the passenger door and left. That night on the way home, Sarah was thinking of reasons to tell their parents why mike hadn’t been home in over two weeks. When she looked at the time, she noticed it was around 10:30 pm. “Damn… tonight was alfredo and I was supposed to help make the sauce. Oh well, I might as well flip some on some tunes.” as she reached for the knob she felt a slight vibration coming from the radio as it clicked on and static blared out of the speakers.

“We are the …”
“We… be watching you and…”
” …gan. We…. get…”
“The treasure that you and…”
“Have… we have your brother…”
“His love…”
“We will be waiting.” Sarah’s eyes teared up a bit as the static cleared up and a charming yet smokey voice spoke the words.

“There is much that we must discuss, you and I. Just us girls. I will be waiting for you in the land of dre-” “Oh shut up!” Sarah interrupted, “I’m not interested, I just want my brother back!”

“and maybe morgan love as well?”  the voice perused casually, still retaining the smokiness in her voice. “He’s already told you hes not interested right?” Sarah replied with a combination of confidence and confusion in her voice.

 The voice cooed softly as it thought of another answer. “Yes, he did manage that! But I talked him into rescuing her. As for your brother, he’s safe here with us.” Sarah couldn’t believe her ears, Mike was safe? She wanted to hear his voice to be sure. “Really? What proof do I have that he will remain safe?” there was radio silence and all she could hear was more static unitl at last she heard mikes voice.

“Sarah? I’m here.. and I’m safe, that got Kim all strung up in a web and she’s breathing from what I can tell. You better come here and get us out of here real quick. They’ve got something bad planned, I can only here bits and pieces of it but they want you and Morgan to give them your treasurOOF!” mikes voice was real alright, but it nothing to soothe her frayed nerves.  More radio silence and then she heard a female’s voice in the distance. “Where am I? Who are you? more importantly, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU? SOME, ANY ONE, PLEASE HELP ME!” she knew that voice voice, Sarah could only listen in silence as the pleas continued and the laughter boomed louder until the other voices were drowned out, then nothing but static again.

“We will be waiting for you. Come prepared, or they will both lose license of life. You have exactly one month to reach us in the Realm of Dreams, under the Blood Red Moon, next to the Tree That Talks, in the Kingdom of the Deom. We look forward to your hastened arrival!” the transmission ended with a explosion of dark, insidious laughter that threatened to border on maniacally insane. Sara panicked at the thought of losing her brother, and did the only thing she could do in times of stress. She uttered a string of swear words for the next fifteen minutes which caused the paint on the cars surrounding her to crack and peel off. She took slight notice of this.

“Wow… I did not know I could do that. Might come in handy for when I want to paint my room a different color. I have to find Morgan, and get all the information I can about the Deom. He should be still walking home at this point.” Sarah told herself. She drove back up to the college and then down the road he usually took when going home, after a couple of streets she began to lose hope of finding him, but then caught sight of a familiar gigbag attached to a tall man walking towards her direction. He looked up and waved nonchalantly and continued on. She stopped the car suddenly and honked at him. “You need a ride? Don’t you have a test coming up or something close to it?” Morgan nodded slowly and then got into the car, wondering if the stars had aligned or something more mysterious.

“Am… I in trouble?” morgan asked cautiously, noticing a slight anger in Sarah that seemed readily apparent by how hard she was gripping the steering wheel. “No…and yes. It’s the Deom, Nordafet and Credion, they have Mike and Kim, and unless we give them our treasure, they die in a month.” Morgan took this in for a while and then yawned. “So you want to know what I know about the Deom right?”

Yes! That would be helpful! Very helpful indeed!” she yelled in his direction, giving him a little bit of incentive to hurry and tell her what he knew. “Man that’s a long walk. I never really notice it till I get a ride. Well shall we then? Let’s go to your place and I’ll explain everything. My place first, need to feed the horses.”

They drove over to Morgan’s and he quickly climbed out the window, onto the car’s roof, and jumped the fence. “Keep the motor running, this shouldn’t take long.” fifteen minutes later, he was back in the car and the horses were happy, albeit a little annoyed that they didn’t get carrots today. “How are the horses?” she asked casually.

“Their fat and happy, let’s get going, we have a lot to discuss and little time to discuss it in.” as they drove to Sarah’s house, Morgan talked about the Deom, how they were formed, who created the two in particular, and how they helped him get over Kim. “Nightmares.” he said simply.

“What?” Sarah replied, wondering what he meant. “They gave me nightmares, designed to turn me away from her. They worked didn’t they?” morgan smiled lightly, noting the gravity of the situation they found themselves.

“True. But why nightmares?” 
“I told them to do it that way.”
“So tell me again, who created those two Deom and what they look like?”
“I must have skipped that part.” Morgan stalled for a minute before answering, giving very little thought to the consequences. “I did, by accident, I know I told you they were a race. Well, they aren’t. Nordafet and Credion are the only two Deom in existence.”

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It was the same thing… Over and over, the Deom surrounding her, the screams, and then silence. What could it all mean? Sarah woke up at 3:00 AM, looked to her left and yawned only to fall asleep again. ‘Damn it… How the hell is this going to help me with everything that’s going on?’ The next …
custodi della realta, part 7.8

Antimo was in a death struggle with Mailcat as it had become known in this strange new Dimesnion.

“What’s wrong? CAT got your tounge!?” it hissed as it smacked the clear liquid like Pug in the face with two sledge hammers, sending the small animal flying into the air, coincidentally knocking a nineteen fifties family out of the air as they were sitting down to enjoy a thanksgiving feast, made out of the man’s Mother-in-law and cheesey poofs.

“YOU’LL PAY FOR THAT! DOG FARTING POWER!” Antimo roared as he struggled to regain the shape of his true form. But it was no use, he was stuck in this dog form until a greater threat arrived. Mailcat gained twenty five experience points for defeating Antimo the Pug and evolved into Fedora Cat,  the ultimate form of Mailcat with the exception that it wore a fedora instead of a Mailman uniform.”With this! I can rule this Dimension in no  tim-“

“Acid web strike!” a friendly voice called out as a ball of smoking green webbing five times the size of Fedora Cat, exploded as soon as the ball had engulfed him.”Green Spiderman is on the job!”
“Red Spiderman is burning up with the blaing passion of youth!”
“Blue Spiderman is fucking depressed and is going to seek therapy for his various insecurities about running around in tights with two other guys!” the three voices rang out in unison.

“Oh crap, not these guys again.” the Pug ruffed annoyed that the three worst enemies he’d ever face were landing right in front of him.They were the Spiderman Brothers, each bitten with an elementally radiated spider in a high school musical, they have spent their lives annoying the crap out of the general populace for the last two minutes. And they also wore Red, Green and Blue Spiderman costumes, because they figured why not go with flare into battle.

 ”My passion is burning!” Red Spiderman said as his fists caught on fire with no effect to him what so ever.”I’ll melt your heart, and the rest of you while I’m at it at the same time!” Green Spiderman retorted, his webbing forming a beating heart.

“I’m going to go hang myself.” Blue Spiderman said with a bit of anger in his voice. “No one understands me!”Antimo was pissed off by this point and ripped their heads off with his hidden four hundred yotta power lever kamehamehack burning fury. “I hate Emo Spiderman!” the Pug retaliated. But just as the blast was about to connect, a black suited Spiderman flicked the blast away with his finger.

“I’m Emo Spiderman, I sing songs while crying and occasionally cut myself with my own webbing, to make sure that I’m part of a culturally dead society of costume wearing Midgets. And you’re going to pay for almost not tearing their heads off.” Emo Spiderman said as he bobbed his head to the music of what he thought was heavy metal, but it turned out to be a Kids Bop CD of Justin Timberlake’s songs. Which pretty much had the same effect.”Wow… so this is my Hell huh? INFINITE FACEBOOK SUPERPOKE WITH A GLASS OF RED WINE!” Antimo called out, but then instantly regretted it, after he mysteriously became aware that he had to poop.

“That is the power of Emo Spiderman! I make people want to poop!” Emo Spiderman shouted slightly depressed and tossing his hair out of his face. Red, Green and Blue Spiderman saw this as a threat to their masculine side and decided to combine their super robots to form White Spiderman.”Have no need to fear, an Underdog copyright infringement is here!” White Spiderman said as Emo Spiderman locked on to his target and blinked.

While Antimo the Pug was busy trying to poop out a battleship attack, White and Emo Spiderman were locked in a death struggle of epic Scrabble like proportions. ”D,O,G triple letter score!” White Spiderman said as he plastered the face of Emo Spiderman with what was hopefully webbing and not some other substance. Emo Spiderman opened his ribcage as energy gathered into his black, withered, evil, and beating heart, and unleashed a CMT awards show so devastating, that not even Antimo had the manners to pinch off his attack as Garth Brooks presented best porno in a country music video about old people and cart lifting.

The result was devastating, as Garth Brooks was on stage covered in shit, Emo Spiderman had a thick layer of definitely not white webbing all over his body, and White Spiderman reverted back into Red, Green and Blue Spidermen, only to find out that after a substantial time, Blue Spiderman had hung himself, slit his wrists, and wrote a note declaring he was gay and could not live in such a destructive environment, that and hated hated Emo people while secretly being Emo Spiderman to begin with.”Wow…. um… who are you then?” Red Spiderman said as the Pug yipped, growled, barked, and struggled to push a two ton anchor out of his sphincter. Needless to say, it was a complete and utter failure, as he now struggled to get around while a two hundred megaton Warship was connected to his ass.

He felt fucking macho about this. Meanwhile, Emo Spiderman turned out to be the real Blue Spiderman, and proved to his brother thus by saying”The tidal wave of my strength shall wash the Evil’s out of any harbor I come into port with!” this confused Red Spiderman and his promptly set his blue brother on fire.

“Burning web strike: Crotch shot of death!” Red Spiderman cried out as Napalm like webbing covered his brother. Who also happened to be a Tibetan Monk being chased by the Chinese Google Police.’Fuck this…” Antimo the pug thought to himself as the warship, still being connected to his ass via two ton anchor, fired off an Apoopalyptic hail of fire that burned the very countryside manner for rich old white people with stuffy families. This happened to be the very continent Antimo had landed on, and he soon heard from the surviving families Lawyers for endangering the wildlife with live ammunition, when the legal limit was only a nuclear holocaust of Pidgeon crap.

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Antimo was in a death struggle with Mailcat as it had become known in this strange new Dimesnion.”What’s wrong? CAT got your tounge!?” it hissed as it smacked the clear liquid like Pug in the face with two sledge hammers, sending the small animal flying into the air, coincidentally knocking a ninete …
custodi della realta, part 7.6
“Joshua Arhem… at your service, loving parents…” the man said as he walked through the purple, green, and golden energies that formed the portal. The body of Barney Fife, burnt beyond recognition, seemed to be healing itself at an alarming rate. “Do you know what would actually happen if that man learns that you two are actually working together? Have you not the slightest inkling of what could happen?” the Arhem man shouted. “All our planning will have been for nothing, the unleashing of the Golden Strands, that pointless little scuffle between you and the Door, and of course, this fucking piece of shit right the fuck there! Ugra thaṇḍara hai pan̄ca kā dēvatā!” Joshua shouted as a fist made of lightning and pure shock waves slammed into the slowly standing body of the former Robot King. “LOOK AT HIM! So pathetic, that he had to make up his own past to justify the fighting? Actually defending someone’s dreams!? Āyāma hai slēja hathauṛā slaima!” Joshua said as he bolted towards the shambling burnt remains of Barney Fife, flipped in the air, and with the lightest tap of his left big toe, sent the body flying into the air.

‘He was a real person Joshua, regardless of how you feel towards Barney Fife, he was a real person, with real potential, and ultimately, a real family that he left behind.’ the Chasm said in grueling tones. “Don’t you think I know that!? Who do you think gave him a syringe full of cancer cells!? Who do you think told him about a racing event? Who do you think was our father!? It was all me!” Joshua shouted as he pelted Barney’s body with blow after blow, the corpse doing nothing to stop his former father from breaking every bone in his body. The Door couldn’t stand the sight of a father beating up the corpse of his son. So it sent out a newly constructed Tina Door to stop him.

“Please Joshua, listen to your parents. We can still build him back to his former power. But in order to do that… we need to revive the Great Mouth!” Tina said, placing a single pinky in the path of Joshua’s oncoming foot.Joshua’s kneecap snapped in half, the pain pacing through his brain like a crack head rummaging for some leftovers. “Son of a bitch! That fucking hurt you god damned whore!” he screamed in pain as he socked Tina in the face hard enough to cause her brain to turn to liquid, causing black blood speckled with silver dust to pour out of her nose, mouth, tear ducts, and ear canals. “Why stop? He’s dead already! Why bring him back!? HE FAILED ME! HE FAILED THE ARHEM LINE, AND HE FAILED DEAREST GRANDFATHER! THIS STAIN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE EXISTING!” Joshua raged as his fists slammed into the steel skeleton of Barney Fife. After another hour of making severe dents to the former Robot Kings body, he spit on his dead son and walked off. Still fuming, but unable to change his parent’s mind.

“Fine… do whatever you want… I will just kill him once I see a single hint of his return to the world of the living.” Tina gave the Chasm a knowing smile before she pulled the top of her skull off and poured out the remains of her brain. “That was interesting.” the goop said after Joshua left. It then formed the body of Chrissy Chasm.

 ”You think he knows that we aren’t really his parents? That he isn’t actually alive?” “No, and I don’t think we ought to tell him, not till he rejoins his brother in the Death Dimension. Seriously, he really does have anger issues.” Tina said with a slight laugh, scratching her nipple as she walked towards the Great Mouth. “Why the fuck do my nipples itch every time I get revived? It’s almost like a running joke!”

**** Morgan, Aneeh, and Antimo simply sat down and watched as the two Collossi of Darkness finished dancing with each other, and then proceeded to gouge each other’s cores from their centers.

“Simply put, wow… I’d like to see Sigfried and Roy top that number. Oh, here they are!” Aneeh exclaimed while clapping her hands. “And now, we will be playing with ze tiger! MOTHERFUCKER MY NECK!” Roy siad as the giant mechanical tiger malfunctioned and sliced the two performers in half, and simply exploded.

“Never mind! Anyways, I wonder what we’re going to do now that the Colossus of Darkness has died a gruesome, and yet somehow hilarious, death?” Antimo laughed.There was an awkward silence as Aneeh and Morgan looked at Antimo while Antimo simply picked his nose for five minutes. “Yeah… that’s not doing much to help our cause.” Morgan responded after Antimo plunged his arm up to his elbow up his nose and his fist came out the back of his head. “So Aneeh, tell me, what do you think- what the fuck is that sound!?” Morgan shouted as a bright colorful world, populated by fashion conscious dogs with a O.C.D like need to point out the obvious, seemingly slammed into the three.

When Morgan woke up, he noticed something right off the bat. He could lick his own crotch, which took care of some rather pressing questions he’d been privately wondering for sometime now, but more pressing than that was the crowd of rotting Wiener Dogs with glowing black eyes and cute sweaters on.  ”Yeah… this is more fucked up than the time that I had to go up against a horde of tennis ball shooting bats. Alrighty… what’s going on, who’s the evil person that did this to you, and how do I stop it?” Morgan asked in a series of barking noises. His furry red tail wagged excitedly as a giant Brindel Boxer with golden stripes going down his legs stepped from the crowd to face him.

“Well, well, well… look what the Mailman dragged in from the Waking Dimension… the Ruby Wolf, or rather, my former Master.” Morgan was still confused as to exactly how he become a wolf with bright and shiny ruby gem like fur until it hit him. “Ooh! That’s how it happened… never mind! So where’s the evil fuckhead I have to destroy in order to free this army of Oscar Mayer Rejects?” the Boxer pointed a front paw to the thing that Morgan had landed on. “Whoa… wait a tic… you mean to tell me that I landed on this evil mastermind when your Planet smashed into me?” Morgan howled with laughter. His red tail wagging away while the Wiener Dogs simply exploding into little puffs of confetti.

“Yeah, but that wasn’t the Great Evil. That was my Mother-in-law. She was still a little bitch - quite literally - but I considered her a plague upon the land. Come with me Master, I have things I want to show you!”Aneeh looked around her, there was something wrong, she could lick her own crotch, which occupied her time for a couple of hours before a deathly tornado of all things wrong with the world flared out of it. “Oookay! That was interesting. Now what?” she got up on all fours and realized she was traveling much faster, and she could smell and hear the very grass rustle in the weakest of breezes. “What in the world am I?” she asked no one in particular until she ran into a English Mastiff named Zorba.

 ”You, my fiendishly ugly friend, are a Chinese Crestid. I would recognized that hideously disfigured face anywhere!” Zorba laughed. The English Mastiff towered over Aneeh by fifty one inches, and was sixteen feet long from tip of his nose to the tip of his tail. “Holy fuck… will you mate with me?” Aneeh asked innocently, but was rebuffed by Zorba with a heavy pawed swat across her face.

Which only served to make her even more hideous to look at. “No! Only the most evil demon, that spawned out of the raging darkness, which was born of the foulest void, that lives in the most desperate of darkness’s would mate with you. And it seems that each time you are smacked, you becomes ten times more ugly than you were before. I want to test this theory out for myself. VOID SMASHING FART!” Zorba said as he grew five hundred times his original size.

“I must warn you that this will be more uncomfortable for you than me. I usually can’t feel a thing.” Aneeh wondered what this could possibly mean, but then instantly regretted the thought.Zorba squatted over the Chinese Crestid and pushed with all his might as a soft, warm glow was emitted from his anus that Aneeh felt incredibly at ease with.

FIRING TUBES ONE THROUGH TEN THOUSAND NOW!” the English Mastiff roared as the soft warm light instantly focused into thirty thousand five hundred and seventy three individual minty smelling Ghostbuster’s with laser batteries ripping out their crotch’s. “WHAT THE FU-” Aneeh started to scream, but due to the overwhelming combined efforts of Zorba’s attack, the Ghostbusters crotch laser batteries, and the overwhelming stench from the soft warm glow, Aneeh was changed into a being of ugliness so foul, that Zorba instantly had a heart attack, brain fart, and multiple lawsuits, claiming defamation of Pari Shitlon’s ego.

Aneeh screeched with hag like tones as her tiny deformed, skeleton like paws ripped the happiness from a nearby smiley face’s heart, and turned him Emo with almost no hesitation at all. With no happiness to keep the smiley face going, he went home and ordered the Dr. Death self killing machine. He was turned down due to bad Credit and a history of making gross videos on the internet of himself dry humping a twelve foot tall squash by the name of Greg. Aneeh the Chinese Crestid, found herself at the mercy of a mountain sized English Mastiff’s brightly glowing anus, and the thousands of Crotch Lasering Ghostbusters that continued blasting her, thinking she was a Class Three Free Floating Ectoplasm. “Don’t cross the streams!” one said with a definitive fear in his voice.

But it fucking burns! The stream of protons burns my penis like a fat person on a thanksgiving day giving the finger to Garfields owner John!” another Ghostbuster said, while unfortunately and mercifully crossing his crotch laser stream with another beside him. Aneeh, the Chinese Crestid, watched the Ghostbuster army vanish into a pile of dog crap that was in fact, a robotic Eggo of death. “Wha-” again, she was interrupted by Zorba’s cruise missile force stream of acidic piss which slammed into her with the force of ten thousand badly reviewed games hitting a fancy dance club.

“Ouch!” she said as her ugliness increased by ten yotta fold, enveloping her in a cloud of Plastic Sturgeons that had gained their medical degrees online while drunk at a frat party. Antimo looked up at the bright blue sky and chewed on his foot playfully, realizing that he had in fact, been turned into a Pug with a giant frilly bow. A bug eyed rabbit with a pair of demon wings roared across the sky, and then exploded into a fireball of Botox, fake eggos, and prism shaped like Paris Hilton shaped like burnt toast.

“Okay… this is fun!” he said as he ignored the happenings around him, until the semi clear Pug filled with a blue liquid filling with dark black orbs of evil destruction, was punched in the face by a Cat dressed up as a Mailman. “MEOW BITCH!” it screamed as it sprayed on Antimo’s freshly cleaned fur.

“You son of a bitch! I just cleaned that!” he screamed as his frilly pink bow became a giant baseball bat like fly swatter and attempted to unselfishly give the Mailman like Cat a good whupping. ***

Meanwhile, Tina Door, and Chrissy Chasm were busy reviving the Great Mouth when an undead Joseph rose from a nearby grave. “So… how’s the Death Dimension?” Tina said as she reconnected a nerve ending to a muscle group, testing it for internet speed, virus protection, and fake emails from Nigerian princes.  ”Lousy, they only have two types of food there, shrimp, and really bad dog food. I can’t believe what jackasses they are down there!” Joseph raged for a few seconds before noticing the double decker bus sized pair of demon lips Tina and Chrissy were working on. “So you two have decided to design avatars of yourself and work together for once?” both women punched him in the face and returned to their work.

“Yeah… although I have to admit it… the Great mouth is being a little bitch at the moment. Mainly because we’ve tried multiple times to get its mind back to the devious way it was when it lived…” Tina began as she wiped some sweat off her forehead. “But all we’ve managed to do is get it back to its nineteen eighties movie quoting self.” Chrissy finished.

“And we were never actually fighting. The whole Existence versus Non-existence thing seemed kinda overdone, trite, and bullshitty when compared to the threat of the Golden Strands, the Colossus of Darkness, and fried chicken.” Tina finished the thought. ‘Whoa… that is creepy when they do that.’ Joseph thought to himself.

The son of Joshua Arhem, Barney Fife, slowly regained consciousness. “Ugh… gag me with a fucking deep sea drill. I need to get to the Inner Beast and Sarah fast and let them-” “Pān̄ca paramāṇu pan̄ca bāra!” Joseph interrupted. “I’m sorry dearest Grandfather, but right now, we need you to sit tight while we prime you to kill off our dearest sister and your dearest grand daughter, Aneeh Arhem.”

*** The Brendal Boxer lead the way through a devastated landscape, that had formerly been the grand opening of a Petsmart with a military grade weapon defense system. “So Master, what brings you here?” the Boxer said as it trotted past isles of dog toys, leashes, fancy bejeweled collars meant for punishment for a dissenting opinion.

“Uh…. your Planet smashing into me, and my two friends.” Morgan said with a slight bit of annoyance. “And why do you keep calling me Master? and what the flying fuck is your name!?” he barked, the hair on the back of his neck rising just a little as his ears flattened. “No need to be alarmed Master, it would be normal that you don’t remember me. My name is Samson, I’ll introduce you to the leaders of Planet ‘Bounnisall Fourteen.” Morgan couldn’t argue with the name.

Aneeh had ripped off the plastic sturgeons, one by one, and turned them all Emo in seconds simply by looking at them. A Chihuahua with snake scales walked by named Medusa, was caught in Aneeh’s stony glare, and looked into a mirror to kill herself and be spared the agonizing Emo death which had already claimed fifteen thousand Plastic Sturgeons lives. However, for an unrelated reason, sales of Emo music went up by five hundred percent. Antimo the Pug lifted the giant fly swatter of evil destruction, and found the Cat underneath had not been harmed at all.

“Wow… you missed. Cat scratch saterday night fever!” the Mailman like Cat screamed as it unsheathed its claws to reveal tiny versions of Carson Daily doing stand up. Antimo yipped in fear. “My fith and only tenth in a number of other lists of things I don’t like! You sir, have slammed the gauntlet down! Defend yourself!” the Pug yowled as he bounded towards the Cat with fury in his eyes. Unfortunately, Antimo was only a foot tall, while the Mailman like Cat was over sixteen feet tall, this made his fury rampage towards his target fairly slow.

Ten minutes later, the two collided in what could only be described by a nearby village of tiny Communist ants, as a brutal smack down between a fairly large Cat dressed like a Mailman, and a tiny Pug.

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“Joshua Arhem… at your service, loving parents…” the man said as he walked through the purple, green, and golden energies that formed the portal. The body of Barney Fife, burnt beyond recognition, seemed to be healing itself at an alarming rate. “Do you know what would actually happen if tha …
custodi della realta, part 7.5

Alex De Spirito, charged with the gathering of the Fragments of reality, had just made the first actual mistake. He had spoken out of turn when Sho was speaking, causing gasps of excitement from the other Fragments around her.

“Why have you come here Human!? Do you not know of the danger you pose to us, just simply by standing in that spot!?” she yelled as Rho smiled, revealing the sharp diamonds in her teeth.

 ”It seems that one of our number wishes to challenge this… intruder to the death, for the right to gather our number!” Alex slapped his forehead, not really wanting to fight.  ”Are you sure it’s because I’m standing in this spot? Couldn’t there have been some other spot in which you get angry at people for standing in?” he asked somberly as Rho, a large stony female with six arms and the Devil’s nuts as her weapon.

“Really!? Oh come on!” the Human groaned as Rho walked towards the Preacher with a glaring smile in her left eye. ‘Simply do as you did when Pi was testing you Alex, and everything should be okay.’  Nu said aloud in the circular room, watching with the others as Alex and Rho stood face to little toe.

‘He’s gonna be in a lot of pain… isn’t he?’ Alpha asked with a slight look of bemusement, Omega on the other hand, didn’t like the look of things at all. ‘If I recall correctly, Rho won over ten battles with just one of the Devil’s nuts. One! Alex better think of some interesting combinations, or Rho’s gonna beat the living fuck out of him.’ she said with a little bit of edginess in her voice.

Nu, Xi, Mu, Pi!”  Alex said as Rho jumped into the air as the battlefield became the inside of a large, brightly lit, red, rubber Voit ball. Icicles shot from Alex’s eyes and shattered against the stony body of Rho.  ”RHO, RHO, RHO!” the Fragment roared as three of her six arms broke off and grew into three different versions of their creator.

“Meet Roh, Hor, and Ohr!” the Fragment lauded as the Devil’s left nut began to grow a wildly bright yellow. Rho simply punched this as hard as she could, and somewhere in the universe, the Devil wept tears of shame while holding his still bleeding crotch. “Attack!” the Fragment commanded as the copies surrounded alex. “Alpha, Pi, Xi!” the Preacher roared as tens of thousands of tiny clay spiders shot out of his finger tips and climbed all over Roh.

“Oh shi-” the Copy didn’t even have time to say the second word, as the weight of the tiny clay spiders increased dramatically and crushed her into a singularity, then exploded outwards, sending bits and chunks of stony body parts flying into the soft, rubbery surface of the Voit ball, where they rocketed into a single point of Orh’s face, gradually chipping through the back of her skull. “Wow… that was interesting.” Alex said as he began to smile.

The only Copy left was Hor, and Alex knew just how to end her existence. “Omega, Nu, Pi!” the Preacher whispered as several huge drills ensnared Hor at vital spots on her body. “HAVE MERCY! PLEASE!” she shouted as the slow whine of the drills groaned into roaring thunderclouds of death.

“Mercy? Then Rho should’ve never ordered you to attack me.” Alex said as he turned his back to her and threw out his hands for effect, then clenched it into a fist. The drills pummeled their way through Hor’s body as she screamed till yellow blood shot out of her mouth. The drills impaled themselves through her throat, heart, legs, right arms, and down her spine. Her screaming was replaced by a cold and lifeless gurgle. “What else have you to throw at me?” Alex said with little regard for the consequences.

‘That was most impressive!’ Omega said cheerfully, and then Rho attacked. ‘Nevermind…’ Alpha said happily, not know what surprises Alex might churn out.

“Alpha, Nu! Alpha, Xi! Alpha, Pi! Alpha, Mu!” the Human said as he bent over backwards, hand sprung into the air, and rebounded off the wall and shot straight passed Rho’s out reaching three arms. Rho turned around, only to find four monkeys on typewriters. “Huh?” Rho was confused until she bent down to look at the typewriters.

They each had ten miniguns. This made Rho very nervous. Alex once again, clenched his fist and the omnidirectional, omnidimensional, and really bright spray of drill like bullets pounded through Rho’s tough rock like skin. The monkeys finished writing and walked away from their typewriters. Rho’s covering fell off gradually, but her anger only served to make the Devil’s right nut excited. She simply punched it and felt the power surge through her. “Not done with me yet?” Alex said quietly. “Do you realize what’s at stake? Is this what you really want me to do? Waste time fighting, while the Golden Strands eat away at Existence slowly!? FINE THEN! TAKE THIS IN MY STEAD! ALPHA, OMEGA, NU, XI, MU, PI!” Alex roared as he simply socked Rho in the face repeatedly while lightning struck the place his fists landed.

Ten yotta volts, the force of ten billion suns exploding, and Alexs fury pounded Rho’s head deeper and deeper into the crater that was slowly forming beneath each and every blow. Sho jumped in to stop Alex’s next blow, but ended up on the business side of a lightning strike that slammed her entire nervous system to the bottom of her feet.  ”AAAAAGH!” the Leader of the Duotri screamed as her body simply fell to pieces while alex continued to assault a slowly fading Rho. ‘Stop! your killing her!’ Pi shouted as he slammed his fist into the table, giving Alex a moment of numbness that shot through his body. The Preacher kept punching Rho’s face in like ten battering rams crashing through a wet piece of toilet paper.

Sho struggled to get her bodies limbs in working order while the rest of the Duotri tried saving their comrades life. “Enough Alex… it’s time to stop this.” a voice called out from the distance. The sound and dissonance scrambled through the Preacher’s mind like a tornado of Ginsu blades, severing all connection to continue this attack. The last of the lightning bolts struck Rho in the throat, carving a large chunk the went straight through, as Alex began to regain composure of himself.

Morgan, Aneeh, and Antimo stared at each other, then to the Families they had been traveling with, then to the giant foot of the Colossus of Darkness. One thought entered their minds before the foot slammed down like a meteor storm.  ”Kuso jijī hōmu kōgeki fuchō!” Morgan shouted in a bored tone of voice.

 A nearby retirement home for ailing Masters of Gravely Forbidden Exploding and Killing Techniques, which had been in the red for sometime was ripped from the ground and flew into the bottom of the Colossus’s foot, causing every Master in the building with Dementia, Alzheimer’s Disease, and Amnesia to slam into the nearest person, and detonated the building’s gas main. The explosion tore the Planetoids foot off, which was sent flying into a school for blind, deaf, and mute construction workers, who were being taught how to disarm a bomb with their fists. Antimo laughed at the proceeding explosion, like a child laughing at the fallen ego’s of the people inside the Mickey Mouse costume’s at Disney Land. Except for the fact that pieces of deaf, blind, and mute construction workers were piling on top of Antimo. Morgan laughed as both the pile and Antimo were stepped on by a roving foot of another Colossus of Darkness.

The two Planetoids began slow dancing all over Antimo’s broken and still laughing body.

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Alex De Spirito, charged with the gathering of the Fragments of reality, had just made the first actual mistake. He had spoken out of turn when Sho was speaking, causing gasps of excitement from the other Fragments around her. “Why have you come here Human!? Do you not know of the danger you po …